Warm Waters
by keepthewildlingsfree
Summary: Katara awakens from a coma that put her in the spirit world for five years after Ozai's fall, but her memories are gone as well as her brother, Sokka. Hallucinating that Fire Lord Azula has kidnapped him, she pirates a Fire Nation ship and sets out to find him – and to remember all she forgot – without knowing the Fire Lord is not Azula, but rather her estranged brother, Zuko.
1. Prologue: Memory

**Prologue: Memory**

_Drumming. There was drumming. Low and ponderous, it shook the ice with each rhythmic beat and the darkness followed soon after. _

_Ash. There was ash, now – floating, drifting, it looked so…so _gentle_. _

_But the screams – the screams were the loudest, the running was the loudest; the entire world of ice was trembling at what might have been the end. An end to all suffering, an end to all pain. But it was not the end. It could not have been. _

_The ships were moored, now, the ramps lowering as fire spilled from its metal womb. They looked like fire, they _were_ fire; crimson like…like blood. Like blood, they were so red. Red did not scare her. Red did not._

_Red terrified her._

_Red killed._

_Red stole._

_Red was blood, and it was fire, and it was fierce._

_They were marching now, a sea of crimson and gold. They looked beautiful, elegant, but dangerously so. It was almost wondrous to her – how starkly they stood out against the ice, these people from a warmer world. _

_She barely noticed those who were running all around her. Blue was running, blue was afraid, but it was not weak. Not even when the soldiers stopped marching and stilled, not even when the only sound heard was the lapping of the pale waters against the ice, did anyone speak. The screams had stopped – this white world was at a standstill. And still the ash floated down, down, dusting the snow with black dots. _

_A man came forward then, emerging from the great red sea. He looked like the rest of them, wearing armor of fire, but his helm did not fully enclose his face and she could see a black beard that came to a point beneath his chin. His face was hardened and wrinkled from war, his eyes a dull yellow save for a sparkle that appeared only when he smelled fear and he grinned and it was malicious, so _malicious _that she could not look at him for too long, but then this face was changing, swirling, and there was a scar that appeared on the left side of his face but this was not the man! It was not him…Who was _he_? The man with the scar and the beard was gone, the wrinkles were gone, in their place unbroken and pale but that _scar_…It was so _red _and his eyes were no longer a sickly yellow but a shining gold, but she did not like them, she could not stand them._

_He stopped in front of the blue people, his face dark and – my god, that _scar_ – he looked around slowly, his brows drawing together as the wind picked up around the small world of ice._


	2. 1 The Spirit World

**Chapter 1: The Spirit World**

She stirred, groaning as she fought to keep her eyes closed, yet something was pulling her, telling her to open them.

When she had first awoken many weeks ago, she was near frightened to find herself in the Spirit World. There had been a giant panda looming over her – whose name she had discovered to be Hei Bai. There was a feeling within her that she had met him before and perhaps he was in another form, yet the memory slipped away, warm and gentle until Hei Bai's face became a new stranger.

"Have I… Have I _died_?" she whispered, but Hei Bai shook his monstrous head and so she laid back onto the soft grass, sighing in relief. Her arms stretched towards the sky, her fingertips wiggling towards the soft orange and pink sunlight of the spirit world. She could hear the trees rustling, the spirits humming and running and flying and the water was flowing and Hei Bai was breathing, deep and low in his throat but it was even, steady, a deep beat of a drum…

A _drum_.

It reminded her, reminded her of something, of some_where _and she thought of the color blue…blue, but that memory too left her and so she rolled to her side, her eyes meeting Hei Bai's.

"Will I stay here forever?" she whispered. In truth, it had only been a couple weeks but the longer she stayed, the less she could remember the _whys_ and the _hows _and it all slipped into a painless blur. Sometimes when she closed her eyes she could pretend she was sleeping and remnants of dreams would envelop her, raining with images of faces or moments of voices or even feelings and _emotions_ and they all reminded her, showed her _something_ that she was beginning to forget and it scared her, sent her heart pounding when the nights came.

_Is this what the spirit world does? Does it take your mind and twist it, coating your memories with thick sap so that the forgetting seems sweet and painless? Did he ever experience this?_

_Did he…_

_Did _who_?_

Hei Bai did not respond, but he lowered his massive head until his nose touched her in between the eyes. She smiled, her hands running up through his thick fur and once more; the anxiety was gone. She rolled onto her stomach, her chin resting on her arm as she twirled grass around her forefinger. It was peaceful here, that she could not doubt. She had heard stories, so many of them, that told of the dark beasts that prowled the forests at night and the angry spirits that did not want mortals in their home and the spirit that stole faces and expressions, but she had come across none such as these. Perhaps it was Hei Bai protecting her, perhaps she was just _good _with spirits, or maybe it was her gift as a…

_Wait_.

As a _what_?

She sighed deeply, her mind turning over and over any possible word she could have been looking for, for there truly was some gift she possessed. There was something that was a part of her, that was _special_, yet nothing came to her mind. It was blank and it was fuzzy, but it was so warm here…The breezes, the nights, the ground, even the water…

Water. There was something about water that resonated within her and she pushed herself more, begging her subconscious to remember anything at all. But it was just water, and if it were a memory, it had already left.

She sighed into her arms, letting the piece of grass fall from her fingers to the ground. Hei Bai was watching her, she could feel it, but she closed her eyes and let herself drift.

_There was a girl on the ground; she was watching as this girl was laughing, screaming, her fingertips trembling as she convulsed, the lightning seemingly spurting out of her in her madness and craze. How could lightning come out of someone? In what world was that possible? Her golden eyes were wide and fierce, strands of black hair falling across her face as she rolled over, standing in a courtyard, but they were not alone. There was a young man there, too, but a shock of black hair hid his face from his view, but it looked like he had a…Was he getting farther away? She turned back to the girl on the ground who was crawling towards her, her shoulders heaving in her maniacal laughs that sounded more like sobs, and she tried to turn and run. She had to run! But the ground was stuck, it was _stuck _and her feet were moving but she was going nowhere and how could this be? How could this be possible? She was reaching out to the boy, but she could not near him and she wanted so badly to cry out to him, to tell him to turn so she could see his face. The girl behind her was screaming now, shrieking in mad echoes that shook their world and she kept crawling, crying,_

_"__You will lose! You will lose. You will always lose."_

_Her eyes widened in fear as the girl came steadily closer, her warnings drowning out the beating of her heart._

_"__No!" she wanted to scream. She wanted it so badly it near hurt, and maybe if she…She closed her eyes, willing him to be near and when she re-opened them, he was standing in front of her. His eyes were wide with terror and pain and she looked down, whispering, "No…no…no…" over and over again as she stared at her arm, which was planted firmly inside his chest, her hand squeezing his heart._

_"__You will lose! You will lose. You will always lose."_

_She cried as the girl taunted her and she tried to pull back, but her hand would not let go and she felt her fear, her madness, her instability rising, the anxiety flooding her veins as she looked this man in the eyes. So golden, so wide – but didn't she hate those eyes? There was a heat inside of her, electric and near-painful and tears began streaming down her cheeks and she shook her head, apologizing to this young man in front of her because she could not _control_ it._

_"__Fight it," he pleaded. "Azula always lies."_

_"__Bye-bye, Zuzu," was all she heard behind her as her hand around his heart erupted into a ball of lightning. The blue and white streaks of electricity lit up his entire body and he was bleeding, gushing deep pools of red that puddled at their feet and it was slippery, so slippery but the lightning didn't stop, it crackled from her fingertips and he wailed, screamed, convulsing and shuddering as the pure energy of her lightning pushed his hair back and she saw it, she saw it, that _scar_. It was there, red and angry and rugged but now it didn't seem so menacing, it almost seemed vulnerable and she struggled to remember why she feared it in the first place. _

_His eyes were so golden, she remembered, golden and conflicted, and they began closing._

She bolted upright, panting and heavy and clutching at her dress. Sweat had beaded on her skin, her braid damp at the nape of her neck. Her eyes were red and puffy and, _had I been crying?_, but then Hei Bai was next to her, nuzzling her with his muzzle. She let herself sink into him, her trembling lessening as she buried her face into his neck.

"What is happening to me, Hei Bai?" she murmured. And if it were possible, she knew she would stay with him forever. There was another world came from, she knew, but even that now was only a distant feeling of nostalgia, not even a picture memory. Was there harm in being at peace with loss? Was it wrong of her to not notice the forgetting? Hei Bai snorted, almost as if in response, and she shuddered, thinking to her dream.

That boy with the scar, he had felt so familiar, but almost dastardly so. There was something about him, something about that scar that pulled at her, making her feel like she should be somewhere else.

But she had killed him.

She had held his heart in her fingers, felt the rapid pounding it made against her skin and it terrified her, but it was also exhilarating.

She stood, smoothing out the creases on her dress where she had grasped at it in her fitful sleep. She began wandering; where to, she was not entirely sure. There were small pathways that wound throughout the massive forest and thick veins swirled around nearly every trunk and branch and over onto the walkway. She paused for a moment looking around in awe.

_No matter how many times I see this place, it always looks different than before_.

Hei Bai nudged her in the back with his nose and she lurched forward, her facing drawing downward in confusion and she turned around.

"Hey-" she started, but the spirit beast pushed her again and she stumbled, throwing her hands up, exclaiming, "Alright, we'll keep walking."

In this way they walked for what seemed about an hour; she would pause and Hei Bai's large nose would poke itself into her back, forcing her forward. It was frustrating, really, but she kept her mouth shut. Spirits were never to be tested, she knew. She started falling behind Hei Bai when he slowed, wondering where he was leading her. A small jolt of anxiety seared through her stomach, but the great panda's touch eased her again.

He pushed through a wall of moss and vines, the veil of green parting to reveal a softly lit clearing. She froze mid-step, her eyes resting on a young man sitting in the lotus position on the floor. There was a blue tattoo of an arrow on his bald head and his eyes were wide and friendly as he grinned. He bounced up, throwing his fist into the air as he laughed and she stumbled back, looking to Hei Bai for an explanation.

"I finally found you!" he cried, spinning in circles. He was wearing the strangest robes, yellow and orange, and they were short and merely wrapped around his torso, baring some of his chest. Her eyes followed him intently, where he came to rest in front of her. He appeared to be in his late teens, yet he still had so much childish energy. She tensed up, her brows drawing together as he spoke on,

"I waited for you every day. I just knew I would find you soon! Everyone misses you so much, so I couldn't give u-"

"Who are you?"

Her voice seemed to hang in the air around them and the strange boy dropped his arms, his smile fading.

"What do you mean, who am I?" he asked, tilting his head. "It's me, Aang."

She looked over to him slowly, her eyes darting between his. He reached out for her and she stepped back, her gaze narrowing. She reached out for Hei Bai, but the beast was suddenly at the boy's side. She shook her head at him, the unsure feeling within her turning to frustration.

_What the hell is going-_

"I came here to bring you back, Katara," he said.

_Katara…Katara. Is that _my_ name?_

"What makes you think I need to be brought back?" she darted back. She chastised herself silently. _Way to go and sound like a fool._

The boy scratched behind his ear, looking around.

"Well…" he began, leaning forward turning his eye on her in a scrutinizing gaze, "are you _sure_ you're Katara? You're acting so odd."

She threw her arms out, snapping, "How am I supposed to know? _You_ barged in here on me!"

"I'm trying to save you!"

"I don't need your help! I happen to like it here." She spun away from him, folding her arms angrily.

"I guess you're not acting as different as I thought. But…now that I'm looking at you," he started, an eyebrow raising, "you do look exactly the same as the last time I saw you."

"What does that mean?" she countered, whirling back around to face him, her braid nearly whipping her cheek. The bald boy scratched his head again.

"I mean, you just look like you haven't _aged_…"

She lifted an eyebrow, saying flatly, "And that's a _bad_ thing?"

Hei Bai grunted, cocking his massive head. She tilted her own head at him questioningly.

"He wants you to come back," the young man said. "I think it's time you came back."

"It's…Aang?"

He smiled strangely then, but he nodded, reaching out for her hand. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she stepped back, her muscles tensing up.

"You can _trust_ me," he said brightly.

_Maybe…just maybe, I could, but should you trust me?_

But Hei Bai was nudging her now and she stumbled forward, her braid swinging against her back. She watched the boy in front of him – _what is so familiar about that smile? – _and he was still holding his hand out, his eyes earnest and bright. Her fingers grazed his gently and she focused hard on not trembling but then everything around her started turning dark. She tried to pull back, her heart rate rising, and the boy was whispering something, tightening his grip and she wasn't afraid of _him_, he was consoling her, giving her warmth but the darkness was coming and _that_ was what terrified her. She blinked, trying to force the blackness back but she slipped into it, floating away into nothing, and then the boy was gone.

* * *

_"__Try it!"_

_She raised an eyebrow at the bowl he was holding under her nose. Her brother's eyes were wide and crystalline, flecks of deep blue and gold swimming in his irises and his mouth was near lolling open in a loose grin. She looked back down to the bowl, where soft lumps drifted amidst a thick, purple-ish broth._

_"__Sea prunes?" she asked. Her brother jabbed his thumb to his chest._

_"_I_ made them!" he proclaimed. "First time, too, so you'd better feel special."_

_She tilted the bowl back, drinking deeply. She fought back a gag as the thick broth slowly slid down her throat – _but it is so sweet how hard he tried! – _and the sea prunes themselves seemed to be squirming in her mouth. She spluttered, suddenly overwhelmed by a yearning urge to cough, but it _hurt_, it hurt…She couldn't get it out, she couldn't, and the prunes were wriggling, slimy, hissing deep within her throat. She saw her brother recoil, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment and hurt._

_She wanted to reach out to tell him it wasn't _horrible_, that there was just something wrong but he snatched the bowl away from her shaking hands, tears welling up in his blue eyes and they were _so _blue –_

Were they always that blue?

_But the soup…the sea prunes, they were faces! They were not prunes, they were people. But where had she seen them before? A bald boy, a girl with white and red paint on her face, an old smiling man; they were all floating in the broth, staring up at her with wide smiles… But she did not know them, had never seen them but there was something…something fami-_

_Wrong._

_Something _wrong_!_

_There was water now, spewing from her mouth and she coughed, doubling over, but it was suddenly gushing, piling up in her throat and she choked and heaved and started to cry, her hands trembling as she fell to her knees, wiping at her mouth. Her brother did not seem to notice, for he was backing away, shaking his head in hurt._

_"__Why didn't you like them?" he whispered. "Why didn't you like them, Katara? _Why_?" _

_But his voice was distorted, demon-like. She blinked up at him through weary, tearful eyes as she convulsed on the ground, another wave of water spurting over her furs. She could not breathe, she could not! Everything was blurry and it hurt, it hurt so much, and she was so young, she was only seven! So young, she could not die, not before she started her training with Gran-Gran!_

_She watched the bowl tip in her brother's hands. She crawled forward, internally screaming that she could not tell him, "No! The people! You will kill them if they fall!" but only water spilled from her mouth and she remained wordless._

_"__Why don't you like them?" he cried, his hands tipping the bowl over._

No, don't kill them…don't kill them! You can't kill them!

_"__You will always lose!" he screamed suddenly, and his voice changed, it became _hers_ – the girl with the golden eyes and the dark hair. Her brother's face seemed to melt down, his eyes turning yellow, like _her_ yellow and he raised his arm, screaming as he threw the bowl of faces into the snow._

No! No….

_They were dead, she knew it._

Damn him! Damn _her_.

_But the water was rising again, spilling from her eyes, her nose, her ears, her mouth…and she gagged, tears streaming down her face._

_"__Are you happy now?" that girl snarled through her brother's mouth. "You left them, you _killed_ them. You will always lose!"_

_There was a pain in her chest; looking down, she saw a hole burned into her chest, a deep red scar circling her heart. She ripped at her skin, fighting back the floods of water but they spewed from her mouth and she collapsed, convulsing on the ground, her eyes fluttering wildly until she couldn't open them anymore._

This is it. Bless me with darkness at last.


	3. 2: The Spirit Oasis

_I just wanted to say a quick thank you to lawliness for your review - it helped me a lot! I apologize for the confusion. I was having a hard time figuring out how to incorporate Katara's dreams, but basically the really strange scene with Sokka and the sea prune faces was a dream/hallucination she was having while Aang was bringing her back from the Spirit World. I hope this chapter helps it to make a little more sense... It will still be a little foggy/unexplained for (probably) one or two more chapters until everything is explained to her. I don't mean to keep you guys in the dark, but I just wanted to convey Katara's confusion and frustration. She has a lot of hallucinations/dreams, but I will try to not make those so difficult to read. Thanks again and I hope I don't disappoint!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Spirit Oasis**

Her eyes flew open in terror and she was wailing at the top of her lungs, but _oh_ how good it felt to be able to scream again.

"Sokka! _Sokka_…" She could hear her voice enveloping her in its echo but she did not relent, only raised her cries when she felt hands pinning her down. There were so many of them, the fingers like spiders, holding her, chocking her and she spluttered, terrified the water would rise up again in her throat.

"Please!" she heard, "Katara, please stop!"

"_Sokka!_" she kept screaming, her eye avoiding the blurry faces over her. "He killed them and now she is going to kill _him_-"

"_Katara!_"

This deeper voice was familiar, it was one she had heard before, but how many times before, she did not know. She stilled, then, willing her eyes to fully open and face the hands that were holding her.

Even if the four people surrounding her _wanted_ to remove their hands, they couldn't because they were frozen in place, sharp daggers facing their wrists should they try to get away.

_Did I do that?_

The people were watching her, wearing worry and distress upon the lines of their faces. Her eyes were wide as she looked them.

It was warm here.

_This cannot be the South Pole…This cannot be my home._

She was lying in a pool of warm water, tiny waves lapping against her rigid body from her convulsions. Her hair was sopping wet, plastered to her face and a hand pulled her arms forward gently until she was sitting up. They were looking at her as though she were a helpless seal pup and she detested them in that moment, but she relaxed a bit and the ice around them thawed and then her eyes rested on a familiar face.

"_Gran-Gran_?" she breathed, reaching out, and the old woman rushed forward, dropping to her knees in the pool as she took her in her arms.

_She smells the same._

It made her cry. The tears came faster than the water that had poured from her throat.

_And were those dreams?_

Her shoulders shook violently as her grandmother rubbed her back.

"What's happening to me?" she whispered thinly. Gran-Gran stroked her hair, drying the tears from her face.

"You _finally_ came back to us," Gran-Gran said, smiling as she pushed strands of dark hair out of her face.

She looked at the others around her but she did not recognize them – save for the bald man with the arrows.

_From the…dreams._

She turned to her grandmother, crying, "But Sokka…"

"I know," the old woman muttered, sadly fingering the long dark waves of her hair. "I know."

* * *

She was in the north, Gran-Gran had told her. Her father was now an ambassador for the Southern Water Tribe and was in the earth kingdom. Gran-Gran said he would arrive soon, however, after he had received her letter. Katara wanted to go to him, but she was told it would be better to rest in the Northern Water Tribe until she regained her strength. She had looked down at her limbs and noticed how frail and thin they were and she hated it, it was _embarrassing_, but she was too tired to argue with Gran-Gran and so she obliged, agreeing to wait until her father came to her.

It made her feel better, but she knew she was still lost. There was something in the back of her mind, wondering how long she had been where she was, but then she wondered where "_where"_ exactly was and it began frustrating her, terrifying her and so she ignored it.

The other men – they had been in the Spirit Oasis with her – she was told were Chief Arnook and Master Pakku. They kept acting like they _knew_ her. By their own right, they were kind enough but in her state she yearned to run from all strangers. Yet this mindset did not work. There were a number of people waving and gasping upon seeing her as she let the bald man lead her to her chambers.

_Since when have I brought so much joy?_

And maybe she was being a little rude, but she didn't voice any of her thoughts and so she saw no harm in them. She figured at least with these thoughts, she could fill the blank holes and voids in her mind. She knew she was forgetting things. She could vividly remember her time in the spirit world but any memories from before her arrival there had been washed away. It left that familiar tugging feeling within her stomach whenever she looked at the bald man – or rather, Aang.

But where had she met him?

She remembered…she remembered being in the South Pole, with Sokka. It couldn't have been too long ago, she was only in the spirit world for a couple weeks at the most, and she was three-and-ten and she and her brother were in their canoe, drifting between two great canyons of ice. They had an argument, but after that, everything was blank. She tried so hard to wrap her mind around what came after, but there was nothing and it drove her mad.

Her chambers were nicely furnished and open, relatively close to the Chief's great quarters and the banquet hall; she knew she was being treated well here. Gran-Gran had just come in with fresh dresses, linens, and towels to wash up with. She had bathed in troubled silence, her thoughts drifting back the dreams that had haunted her, the bald man, and her brother. Something didn't feel right that he was not right by her side the moment she woke up, but she told herself he was on a day trip to catch dinner.

_Probably to congratulate me._

She twirled her finger around in the water, but when she lifted it away from the surface, the water followed, rippling gently in a thin stream that followed her fingertip. Her eyes widened and the water splashed back into the tub and she gripped the sides, flashes of memory flickering in her mind like a reel.

_Water… Water moving at my will, freezing, winding… Daggers of ice… Pillars, glaciers! Rivers and pools, all at my fingertips…_

_So that is what it was. I am a bender. How could I forget?_

She plunged her hand in the water again, pulling it out and clenching her fist. A small sphere of water circled around her fingers, licking her skin her skin gently.

_Shouldn't this make me smile? Shouldn't I be happy?_

But she wasn't – she had been stuck in a limbo for weeks and her memories had left her._ Why_ had she forgotten everything? And that bald man, he _knew_ her, but she did not know him. He looked sad to see her; behind that smile, she knew he was sad. But if she did not know him, why did it trouble him so much?

She felt her heart rate rising and she fought to calm herself down.

In time, she would understand.

_In time… But I want to know now!_

But patience was never her strongest attribute. She was patient with children, but when she wanted something, it drove her mad unless she got it right away. And so all that plagued her mind was trying to remember.

Clean and dry, she looked at herself in a floor-length mirror. The north was luxurious like that – commodities that were too big to be a necessity, but she could not help but stare at her reflection, holding a towel up to the front of her body.

She did not know who stared back.

She was not three-and-ten. She was…She was a _woman_; tall with long legs, and _curves…_But when did she get those? Her hips had filled out while her waist had slimmed down, and her chest was much larger than before and her _face_…It had lost nearly all of its baby fat but almost too much, for her eyes and cheeks appeared sunken in and sickly. Her darker skin looked paled and her hair – _it's so long now! –_ was limp and hung thinly around her worn face, tumbling down now past her waist. She did not like who she was looking at, and the blue eyes narrowed in the mirror. She angrily tore the towel away from her body.

There was a scar on her chest, circling her heart, angry and red and huge. She stumbled back, holding her hand to her face as pictures flashed across her eyes.

_Lightning._

She gasped, sinking to her knees and holding her chest. Pain…There was such _pain_. But that was all she could remember. Tears welled up in her eyes but when she looked up to see the pitifully scared face staring back at her, it made her angry. She threw a brush at the mirror, hoping it would shatter. It cracked some, but even still she watched herself, furious and glaring. She began pulling her hair back into a braid, avoiding her own eyes but her hands were trembling too badly. She threw on a simple blue dress that reminded her of her younger years in the South Pole, but even the thought of her home made her bitter and so she turned and fled.

He found her sitting upon a great cliff of ice, overlooking the circular patterns of the city.

In her annoyance at being disturbed, she ignored him, but thankfully he did not speak, only sat down next to her. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, her brows drawing together.

_Go away._

But he remained there despite her secret wishes.

"Are you cold?" he asked. In truth, she was a little chilled from the northern breeze but she kept her mouth shut and ignored him again, keeping her eyes forward on the city. It was a beautiful place – it was magnificently large with great towers and fortresses of ice, winding pathways and white pillars reaching towards the skies, adorned with gems and swirling designs of water. It was everything the Southern Water Tribe had never been, but she did not love this place even in all of its beauty.

The young man beside her shifted, the blue arrow on his head catching the sunlight and his robes billowed gently. They sat, wordless, for near an hour and after a while, though she would never admit it, she began to find comfort in his presence. There was something about him, something familiar but also gentle and warm and so she decided she did not dislike him as much as she had thought.

There were so many questions she wanted to ask – and she had tried, but Gran-Gran told her to wait for someone else to give her the truth. The way her grandmother had said that made her rethink her wishes, and she wondered if she truly wanted to know the truth at all.

She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself and the boy held out something. She turned, eyeing the coat trimmed with furs and she accepted it, wrapping it around herself and silently basking in its warmth. She closed her eyes, letting her head tilt back slightly and she took a deep breath, willing herself to relax.

_It will be alright. It will all make sense._

"But Azula always lies!"

Her eyes snapped open in fear and she gasped, scrambling to her feet. She tripped and stumbled, but she bolted up again, strands of hair falling into her face as she whimpered. The boy stood up after her, but she held out her hand to him, snarling, "Stay away from me!"

"Why?" he asked, his eyes lit with confusion.

"I heard what you said!"

"I didn't say anything," he pressed.

"Azula…" she whispered, her eyes growing wide. "Azula always lies; you said it! I heard you. Azula _always lies._" She began trembling, stumbling backwards and shaking her head in terror when he lurched forward and pulled her into his arms. She gasped, squirming in his hold, but he pressed his cheek against hers, saying, "Azula's not here; she's not here anymore. You're safe."

"But you said-"

"I didn't say anything, I promise."

His voice was soft, so soft and caring, and it made her cry. She hated crying; she hated being weak! But there something about this man's grasp that reminded her of comfort and warmth and so she clung to him, tears streaming down her face and he stroked her hair, telling her it would all be okay.

_But it won't be! It's not alright… It's not okay!_

"How long?" she whispered, her shoulders shaking. "How _long_?"

He was quiet for a moment and she could feel him tense up, but then his warm breath swirled around her ear as he murmured, "Five years."

She closed her eyes, her heart sinking within her chest.

_It's not possible! It was only…three weeks at the most._

_Idiot, can you not see how different you look now, how much older you've become? Mirrors don't lie – not like Azula does._

"Why can't I remember anything?"

"I don't know."

"Were we friends?"

He pulled back, his cheeks turning pink. He scratched at his ear, laughing faintly as he replied, "Yeah, we were best friends."

"I guess…I forgot."

He smiled, but his smile was sad. _Do I make you sad?_

She sank to her knees, pulling them close to her chest as she wrapped her arms around her legs. She could hear Aang next to her settling down, but after a moment he stilled, sighing as he leaned back on his arms.

"I like it here," he stated.

"You and me both," Katara muttered, "but it's so different from my home." She knew he could see the remnants of tears wavering in her eyes, but she did not bother trying to hide them from him, and she wondered why that was.

"You know…" the boy started hesitantly, "we traveled all over the world together." Katara smiled gently, wiping her nose on her sleeve and sniffling. She turned red-rimmed eyes towards him, asking quietly, "Really?"

Aang jumped up, swirling his hands together so that a tight ball of whirling air appeared below his crossed legs. Katara's eyes widened at the sight of this boy floating above the ground, but after remembering her re-discovery of her water abilities, she decided that bending air couldn't have been that far-fetched.

"Oh, yeah!" he exclaimed, grinning. "The Earth Kingdom, the Air temples…We even snuck into the Fire Nation quite a few times!"

"What point was there in that?" she grumbled. The ball of air disappeared below his legs and he dropped silently to the ground.

"We saved the world."

She huffed, rolling her eyes and snapping, "Yes, because I'd_ definitely_ forget about saving the world with a bald stranger."

Aang's hand flew to the top of his head, his cheeks flushing. He muttered something under his breath about his baldness and when Katara snapped at him, "What did you say?", he said it was nothing.

_You are a horrible liar._

There was a sudden screeching sound and she started, whipping around, her hair loopies smacking against her eyes. She blinked furiously, her eyes stinging slightly as her gaze focused on a white lemur buzzing around Aang's head.

"What is _that_?" she snarled, putting her hands on her hips. Aang blushed deeply, holding out his arm and the animal landed on his shoulder, cooing as it nudged its nose against his cheek.

"It's Momo!" he laughed, scratching the lemur's chin. Katara raised an eyebrow, stepping forward as she cocked her head, replying, "Momo? That's a bizarre name."

"Yeah, we found him in the Southern Air Temple! You were with us."

"Oh, really? And how did we manage to travel to an ancient floating city?"

"On Appa," Aang grinned. "My six-legged flying bison."

Katara raised an eyebrow.

"I'm leaving," she said flatly and turned to stomp away – _who does he think he is mocking me like that? – _but he reached out, grabbing her arm.

"Katara," he insisted. She paused, glaring back at him, snapping, "What?"

"Can I at least show you?" he asked and Momo chirped on his shoulder, blinking his huge eyes.

* * *

He took her to the stables, her nose wrinkling at the strong smell of hay and animals, but she decided against voicing the snide comments that couldn't get help but swirl around in her mind as she followed the giddy airbender. Her hair was starting to frizz as a warm front gently rolled over the north and she scowled, wishing she had taken the time to calm herself and finish tying her hair back.

"Look," she said, crossing her arms, "I'm flattered you want to make me _feel _better, but pretending you have a flying bison doesn't…cut…" She faltered, her mouth flying open as her hands dropped to her sides. "Holy sea prunes."

He was _massive_ – huger than anything she could have ever hoped to see. To call him a beast was an understatement; he looked more like something a god would ride away into the heavens. His head alone was as big as the stables themselves and the Northerners clearly had to build him his own shelter and how long that took, she couldn't even begin to comprehend. Two giant horns curved out of the sides of his head and a great pink tongue lolled from his mouth at the sight of his owner. And it was true, he _did _have six legs and they looked strangely normal on him. Aang sprinted forth, giggling like a child as he jumped from the ground, a gust of wind carrying him up to the bison's head. He hugged him tightly, sinking his face into his fur. Katara felt a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she watched this man who reminded her so much of a child.

"Hi, buddy!" he exclaimed. Appa grumbled low in his throat, resembling a chuckle. Aang let himself slide down Appa's face and land gently on the ground. He turned back towards Katara, a beaming smile on his face as he held out his hand.

"Want to meet an old friend?"

_Don't be nervous._

_They were…your friends._

She walked forward, slowly extending her arm until the tips of her fingers brushed his and he suddenly yanked her forward; Appa hopped, engulfing her in a wet lick of his tongue that took her off the ground. She shrieked, but Aang caught her on the way back down, saying,

"He really missed you!"

"Really? I couldn't tell." She touched her face, grimacing when she pulled her hand away and saliva stretched between her fingers.

"Do you… Do you want to go on a ride?"

"What, like, on him?" she snapped. Aang looked at her, his mouth drooping in confusion and he scratched his head.

"I mean…How else would we go on a ride?" Katara rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she replied, "Yeah, okay, I guess." Aang grabbed her hand again, shooting out a gust of wind that took them into the air and onto the bison's back. Katara looked over the edge of the saddle, her eyes widening and her stomach doing a slight flip at the drop.

"Is this safe?"

"You're with me and Appa! There's nowhere safer."

And then he cried out the strangest words she had probably ever heard. She didn't understand what they meant – _something like wa-hoo...or yippie__? – _but the bison seemed to know what he said, for he lurched into the air. Katara gasped, gripping the saddle with all her strength as the bison's legs kicked into the sky and the ground dropped from them. They was a great surge of wind that lifted her hair as the winding pathways and pillars of ice became smaller with each passing second.

"Just relax," Aang said, "and lean back! You might not remember everything yet, but we practically lived on Appa for almost a year. You loved it; you always loved it. I'm sure you will this time around too!"

She nodded, taking a deep breath, willing her racing heart to slow. Her hands still gripping the saddle tightly, she let her head tilt back and her eyes close, her hair lifting around her face, tickling her cheeks and her eyelids. After a moment, she began calming, her fingers releasing their grip of death as her shoulders slowly relaxed. She was overcome by the desire to cry. She didn't really know why or even what she would cry about, but it was there, tugging at her heart and making the backs of her eyes feel heated and taught.

And maybe she would cry about this girl, Azula. She didn't know who she was, but she was a plague. Her dark hair and golden eyes haunted her when she let her mind wander. And if it was true, if Azula always lied, she wondered if any of her lies had ever caused her grief before.

Or maybe it was the endless loop of confusion, the wondering, the fear, the uncertainty that she had any kind of a stable grasp on her life. She had thought…She had thought she had spent only three weeks with Hei Bai but it was five years later and no one but Gran-Gran was familiar. Was that normal?

_Of course not._

But maybe it was just the sheer feeling of the breeze in her hair, soothing her thoughts and taking her far away from any uneasiness that made her blood tremble. She felt she could _breathe_ and though she was too stubborn to admit it, Aang was right. She loved this experience.

She hesitantly let a tear fall. She had been crying far too much for her liking lately, but right now the crying wasn't for sadness, so she allowed it. She felt blissful and she opened her eyes, a smile crossing her face as she gazed at the ocean below them. She may have forgotten most of her memories, but the ocean, she would never forget. The lapping waters glittered beneath the midday sun, a teal and cerulean sea of tiny gemstones, tumbling over one another in a liquid form. There was nothing as beautiful; she could feel Aang's eyes on her as she leaned on her arms against the edge of the saddle and rested her chin on her hands.

Yet for all the beauty, for all the peace and bliss she was experiencing, she could not get thoughts of her brother out of her mind.

* * *

"Has your granddaughter improved?"

Kanna folded her hands beneath her thick robes of the Southern Water Tribe.

"She is in the Avatar's care," she replied to Chief Arnook. "If there were someone to bring her out of her troubles, it would be him. I am not worried."

"She seemed to be nothing like the young waterbender I met during the war," he said sadly. Kanna turned her eyes towards him, a soft nostalgic film shining over the blue of her irises as she countered, "She has experienced a great deal. Had you remained immobile for five years with only spirit and thought to guide you, you would not be the same man you once were." Master Pakku grunted behind her.

"Yet I see her stubbornness and fire has not changed," the master waterbender said dryly. Kanna laughed, placing a hand upon his shoulder.

"Can you not tell where she gets it from? Does it not remind you of someone else you knew in your younger years?" Pakku shifted, his eyes flitting up to hers as a faint hint of blush appeared on his wrinkled cheeks.

In truth, the last five years had been very trying on her and the Avatar. Aang seemed to suffer more than anyone; there was hardly a day where he was not spending hours in the Spirit World looking for her granddaughter. She admired his determination, but she could not help but feel almost guilty, wondering if he would come to regret the years he spent ignoring his transition as a man and forsaking his friends. There was more to experience than he could ever imagine, but she was not ignorant; she knew his love for Katara shadowed all doubt and all misfortune. And he had become _quite_ the Avatar, indeed; he made a wonderful ambassador to his people, turning an open ear to all nations in fairness and respect. Yes, she was undeniably proud of him and all he had achieved, but he was the Avatar, no more and no less and his recent contributions to the world were only physical – while his mind was occupied with thoughts of Katara, it was only his body that responded to his people. His heart was immobile. The last five years, he had tried to desperately to ignore the cosmic, other-worldly part of him and she watched, she watched it all as he had emotionally forsaken his duty in the hopes of catching a glimpse of a familiar dark braid in the Spirit World.

Yet he succeeded. He kept peace in the nations, he grew up, he found Katara, but where was his heart? His love for his friends was undying, but in a world still struggling to regain the peace it once had before the Fire Nation destroyed nearly all of it, could he survive on love?

_But of course, Kanna, you crazy old woman! How else did he save us all in the first place?_

Her thoughts confused her – oh, she could attribute it to her ripening age and the white of her hair – but she knew the truth. She could not shake the feeling of guilt from her shoulders, wondering if this Avatar who loved her granddaughter so much would, in time, come to hate her instead.

"….long should we wait?"

Kanna started, her thoughts leaving her as she looked up, realizing Chief Arnook had asked her a question. He waited somewhat impatiently for her answer, his arms folded and she could see Pakku's mouth press into a hardened line.

_I always preferred your smile to your look of distate, old friend._

"I do apologize, I have the attention span of a sea prune in my old age, I'm afraid," Kanna chuckled, masking her unease. "What did ask of me, Chief?"

"When should Katara learn of her brother?" he asked again, his voice almost soft. "How long should we wait to tell her?"

Kanna straightened up, clasping her hands beneath her robes, replying curtly, "All my granddaughter must discover, she will learn through the Avatar. It is with his judgement she will hear all that needs to be said – and in the time he deems appropriate. I will not have my granddaughter forced into denial and disbelief so soon after her awakening. She has been through far too much to handle more distress now.

"I ask of you to let the issue go," she continued. "The Avatar and I _alone_ will decide what is best for my granddaughter, however I do thank you for your worry and generosity."

Pakku grunted as he turned on his heel, mumbling, "You say she is a lot like you, Kanna. Then, it will not be long before she figures it out herself."

* * *

There was a light rap on the door.

"Enter."

A round, graying man entered, his hands clasped together beneath fiery robes of crimson and gold silk. His hair was long and graying and he had a pointed beard that reached his chest; a wide smile spread across his face as he stepped through the doorway.

"Forgive me, my lady, but I am in search of my young nephew! Have you seen him?"

There was a woman sitting at the desk, leaning back against a tall chair of red silk and golden arms, detailed with beautifully carved designs of the Fire Nation. She tilted her head slightly, tapping her fingers on the desk in slight annoyance before replying,

"The Firelord is an evasive, busy man. I have not seen him in near two days, General Iroh."

"Such a shame," the general countered, "I hoped to indulge in some afternoon tea with him."

"Don't we all," the woman said dryly and Iroh laughed. She fought to keep herself from rolling her eyes, but she pushed herself back and stood, bowing respectfully to the Firelord's uncle.

"If I may make a suggestion," she started, "The Firelord holds distaste for most things, I have discovered, yet he never seems to grow tired of watching the turtle-ducks."

"Ah, the lovely turtle-ducks!" Iroh exclaimed, one hand on his big belly. "I had not thought of that! Well, Lady Mai, it seems you know our Zuko even better than me!"

"I wouldn't go that far, General," she said, somewhat sheepishly. "I only perform my duties and that is all."

"Oh, please, Mai, you must not speak to me with such formal titles!" Iroh reached forward, engulfing her small, pale hands between his thick, warm ones. Pink rose to her pallid cheeks as she looked up at the old man. "Call me Uncle! After all, it shall not be long until we are of the same family."

* * *

_I know this probably isn't starting out in the most favorable way to us Zutara shippers, but I promise you it will be worth it! Thanks for reading; I hope you like it so far :)_


	4. 3: The Pond of the Turtle-Ducks

_I apologize for the lack of posting. Finals got me hard, my little sister graduated high school, I had to move out of my house, and there's aaaaalways interesting problems with the fambam. So, again, I'm sorry! I made you wait a long ass time, but here's and new chapter and I'm getting a head start on the next one. Hopefully I'll get that one up soon as a way to say thanks for waiting :)_

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Pond of the Turtle-Ducks**

_You don't look half bad, you know…_

She squinted at herself in the mirror, turning her backside towards it to admire the detailing of the back of the dress she had just put on. It was beautiful and perhaps were this another time, she would have felt like a princess of the North but on this day, she suddenly hated the over-bearing detailing of the pretentious robes. She frowned as she stilled, watching herself think.

_You've got to be joking. You look like a trophy wife who has passed her prime._

They were harsh, the words her mind was offering her - but it didn't mean they weren't true. In reality, she had not slept in the four days since she opened her eyes to strange hands pinning her down in the Spirit World. She couldn't sleep, no matter how hard she tried. Sea prunes, it was annoying, but her body remained steadfast in its decision to _not_ listen to her. And so her eyes appeared dark and sunken in with bags under them and her cheeks looked sickly thin; she didn't bother with the makeup one of the chief's servants had tried to offer her earlier that morning. Anyway, it was offensive being offered it – _I know I look ghastly, I don't need _you_ to notice it, too –_ and so she had slammed the door closed in the girl's face and tried to fall asleep for hours after that.

_At the very least, I can dress nice. Can't I?_

Well, she certainly thought she could but looking at herself now, she was overcome by a desire to smash the looking glass, but she forced herself to remember they had already switched out the mirror the other day when she had cracked it with her brush.

_It's not the mirror's fault, Katara. _

It wasn't hers either, though, right?

Her fingers twisted in her hair as she pulled it back into a braid, the beaded loops softly swinging against her cheeks as she worked. When she had finished, scowling that her arms were already so tired, she surveyed herself, turning her head to see all the angles. She huffed in annoyance, ripping the end of the braid free. _I look twelve with my hair up._

She froze, letting her hands drop from her head. That was just it, wasn't it?

She wasn't twelve anymore, she wasn't three-and-ten. She wasn't even five or six-and-ten, experiencing love and her changing body for the first time. No, she had missed out on all of that. It only made sense she could not wear her hair the way in which she used to, the way she loved to – she was not a girl anymore. She was…eight-and-ten. So old. She had passed the traditional marrying age. She had nearly passed the traditional child-bearing age!

_Don't be so dramatic._

She rolled her eyes at herself, combing her fingers through her hair as she let it fall freely down past her waist. She had told Gran-Gran she wanted to cut it, but the crazy old woman near throttled her at the mention of it.

"Your hair is far more beautiful than mine ever was! To have such length and shine… You have good judgment, granddaughter, but you must have knocked your head penguin sledding to think you could ever cut it," she had said sternly, her hands on her hips. Katara had smiled, shaking her head at her grandmother as she enveloped her in a warm hug. It was strange, but Katara felt as though she had to lean over more to hug Gran-Gran than she used to.

_I knew she was old… But is she really that small now?_

But she was an idiot. She had merely grown taller. She frowned again.

_Losing all of your memories and waking up from a coma years after your last thought is not all it's cracked up to be._

Ignoring her darkly humorous thoughts, she pulled her shoulders back. It was time she backed away from the mirror. She looked ill and pale and thin and weak, but it was not her fault. It would be her fault if she stayed that way and… perhaps, initially, she was going to. But…

_Sokka._

No one would mention him. He had not returned. Gran-Gran changed the subject to her father's upcoming arrival the moment Katara mentioned her brother. She was hastily told about the arrival of some warriors that lived off the southern coast of the Earth Kingdom – they were distinguished, highly respected guests in the north and the leader was very good friends with the Avatar. She was given the make-up then (which, in hindsight, made sense for such an important occasion) and then the dress. She was suspicious and she was scared and anxious, but mostly she was frustrated.

Where was he? He should have been the first person she opened her eyes to. He was sexist and he was a pig, but he was _protective_ as well and so he should have been there!

But he wasn't. And if he were indeed hunting, it was a long trip.

* * *

_Five years._

Lady Mai looked out towards the courtyard, leaning against the wall of her office. She sighed heavily, wrapping her arms around her. It was slightly chilly in the very early morning, though they were in summer's peak. It often rained during the warmest months and she admired that, but on this morning the sky was clear and the world was still as pale rays of sunlight began to awaken. She heard quacking and tilted her head, her eyes flitting to the fountain. The pond appeared empty for just a moment before a fuzzy duckling's head popped out of the water, its turtle shell breaching the surface as it turned over. Its brothers and sisters followed suit before the mother appeared from the shadows cast by the tree looming over the water.

_Five years ago today._

Her heart felt heavy – heavier than normal. Most of the time, she was just being an apathetic, Agni-may-care brat and she _knew_ that. But today…Today she had a reason. Even the palace seemed quiet. Granted, the sun had not yet fully risen but by this time there were always swarms of servants and cooks and guards already preparing for the day. Everyone was on edge. Everything was still and even the sun was afraid to show itself.

_Five years ago today our nation changed._

And…Lord Ozai.

_Ozai_.

She could still see him now with his straight ebony hair, his pointed beard and his malicious golden eyes beneath thick brows. She had only seen him smile a handful of times – and each time, it was when he was watching Azula perform her bending, but even then, his smile was frightening and unforgiving and hard. Mai never liked his eyes; they were yellow with craze like…

_Like Azula's were, towards the end of it all? _

She shook her head, scowling to herself. There was no point in dwelling on the past, though she could not stop images of Azula's butchered hair from appearing in her mind.

At any rate, Lord Ozai's eyes were sickly and yellow – nothing like the gold of her fiancé's.

_Can you not say his name, Mai?_

Well, sure… She could. She could say it. She had dreamt of being able to say it again, the way she did on Ember Island. She could feel her cheeks heat up at the memory. She was five-and-ten then and she cared for nothing – there _was_ nothing to care about. Except, of course, her hot-headed firebending lover. Well, as fate would have it, he was her lover once again, but it did not feel the same. He _liked_ her during those young years. Their fights had passion then, or so she thought they did. His lips were warm and soft and laden with something unstable but sweetly so. She had loved that, she had always loved that. She still did, but it was something she had not experienced again. Those kisses were in the past and so was her heart – so was his.

Mai sighed, leaning her head against the wall as she watched the turtle-ducks.

_He always loved the turtle-ducks._

Of course, though, he would never admit it. She allowed herself one soft smile before shaking her head and turning away from the window to sit at her desk. There were papers everywhere – some still unrolled as she had not yet had the time to read them. Documents, letters, agreements, treaties, requests, invitations… It was all too much at times, but…

She would be the Fire Lady. She would have all the power her father so foolishly lost and she would have _more_ of it.

Sometimes that thought hit her like that Beifong girl's earth wall and she would become frightened and short of breath. If her father knew she was questioning her abilities he would surely knock those thoughts from her head. He would tell her she did not spend years at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls just to be a weak, faithless girl. She was a woman and she was a powerful one and it was true. She watched her father's mistakes; she learned what _not_ to do and so she did not even cry when he was jailed for his treachery. The Firelord had been gracious enough to pardon him after two years and, in that moment, she knew she loved him again for he would be nothing like his tyrant father.

And in all of her mind's scenarios for what is waiting for her as the Fire Lady, her fiancée loves her.

It was a petty and childish idea for love, but Mai wanted it badly. Her face spoke of distaste and apathy and boredom but on the inside, her heart was lively and shy whenever she was around the Firelord. Sometimes it frustrated her – she had already _had_ him years ago, so why was she shy now? At any rate, he didn't seem to notice, but he never cared to notice anything at all. He had grudgingly, at the meddling of the nobles, asked for her hand three years ago and had spent each following day devising reasons to put the wedding off. She was _not_ getting any younger – _what if I've reached my peak? _– and she refused to be an old hag of a bride. She hated weddings – they were loud and crowded and long, but she could bear with it if it meant marrying the handsome, honor-obsessed lord while she was young and beautiful. _It would surely be a story to boast of when I lay dying_. _It would be something Azula could never beat me at._

But…none of that was happening. He was more distant than she ever was to anyone and he never spoke, nor rarely showed himself outside of his throne room and chambers. His office remained closed to anyone aside from his uncle and even the general received limited meetings. For a while after his coronation, he seemed better. Mai had seen him nearly every day and, while he still did not smile often, she could see his eyes were more relaxed and no longer rimmed with red. He began sleeping again, he did not seem resentful of her company and it was not long before he asked for her hand in marriage in the throne room.

Part of her had always imagined it happening in front of the turtle-ducks, his smile causing his scar to wrinkle, but instead he knelt in front of a wall of fire with a hard expression.

_And will your eyes match your father's one day?_

After her acceptance, she rarely saw him but twice a week. Even then, it was flitting and he was gone before she could ask him if he required any services to lessen his work.

_What have I done wrong? You loved me once. I know you did._

But one day, she found the answer. She had taken her lunch outside on the patio to the gardens for she was in a strangely wistful mood that was very much unlike her usual self. There was splashing, gentle and soft, and she peered around the corner, her eyes focusing on a dark-haired man sitting on the edge of a fountain. She felt the heat rise to her face as her heart began racing. She watched him lean down and throw a small piece of the bread roll he held into the water. The turtle-ducklings quacked happily, dipping their faces down into the water.

_You look…happy, Firelord. Maybe one day…_

_I can make you look like that, too._

One of the ducklings lifted its head out of the water suddenly, sending streams of water into the air. The Fire Lord pulled back slightly and she watched his lips curl into a smile as he trailed his fingers across the pond's surface, his face distant as he touched the water.

His eyes were…so golden, she remembered, so golden and sad and they began closing.

It hurt to watch. How had she not seen it?

She never thought much of the avatar's companions. She never cared to learn their names and even now, their faces were blurred in her mind. But there was one person she distinctly remembered, someone she could not believe she had already forgotten.

_The waterbender._

That time she saw the Firelord at the pond, his eyes glazing over as he watched the ripples in the water, she knew. She knew it all. That girl was dead, wasn't she?

She remembered, after the last battle, being released from the prison at his command. Ozai was dead. Azula was gone… The Fire Nation was falling to pieces and still the scarred son rose to the throne, but there was only a handful of blue robes at his coronation. There was red, green, yellow… The nations were there, each offering thousands of their citizens in celebration The Avatar, the blind girl, the Kyoshi Warriors… They were all there. But what about that waterbender and her food-obsessed brother? There were only some warriors from the Northern Water Tribe, and that was all. The coronation marked the new era for the Fire Nation, but the Firelord did not smile.

It was as though Mai did not exist. Her congratulations towards him went unnoticed. She could feel something was wrong – this was a day for celebration, but the unease, the regret, the sadness overpowered any thoughts of hope! Even the Avatar's gray eyes were empty.

It was only when she found the Firelord bending past midnight that night, his rage turning his flames blue (which she was proud of, for she knew he always struggled with his bending) that she realized the cause of his pain. She watched, silent and breathless, as he screamed out a woman's name and fell to his knees, his head dropping back and he cried.

Five years ago….Five years and Ozai was gone, the nation was rebuilding and the new Firelord brought peace and fire together.

She had not seen him in days, but she knew why.

Five years ago on this day, that girl died and the Firelord changed.

_Katara_ died and he broke apart beneath the moon to which she belonged.

* * *

His eyes narrowed slightly at the wicks in front of him, flames bursting to life, dotting the thin white candles. He bowed his head, the warmth of fire tickling his face. His thumb ran over a cool blue stone on the altar, the etches on the surface tickling his skin. He picked it up gingerly, the blue silk to which it was attached flowing over his hand. It felt cool to the touch, reminding him greatly of water.

His chest felt heavy.

He closed his eyes, fighting to keep his mind still, but the moment darkness stared back at him, he could see…ripples, streams, gentle laps of water, twisting and curling and pulsating beneath a shimmering moon.

_Yue, help me._

He cradled his head in his hands, his fingers grasping at his hair. His throat tightened almost painfully.

_It's just not _fair_!_

He wanted to scream. He wanted to rip the curtains and tapestries from the wall until the room was barren and destroyed. He wanted to run, to disappear from the palace that felt more like a prison. He would, in fact, rather be at the Boiling Rock than where he was now.

But most of all, he wanted to forget.

He could not stand seeing the blue eyes that plagued his dreams. He wondered what his uncle would do, were he in his position.

And had it really been that many years already? It was…funny, how long he had spent groveling to her. She despised him for almost a year – with good reason he supposed – but when he had decided to abandon his lineage and commit treason for the Avatar, she made him try and try and _try _up until the end, when she finally forgave him. She was always remarkable like that – stubborn, too, which drove him mad constantly. But that was what it took to be wanted by her, to be her friend, and… And it took so long. But he finally, _finally_ proved himself to her and then…Then…

_Lightning._

In one moment, it was all gone.

He felt almost guilty that he no longer felt able to cry. It was as if he owed her at least that much. He owed it to her brother, too. Children of the Water Tribe… could he not spare tears, when she moved oceans to save him and her brother merged Fire Nation sword-wielding with the traditions of his own people? Could he not honor them? He couldn't…He couldn't even _save_ her, like she did him. He couldn't even smile with their memories, when her brother fought to keep them in high spirits…always. He let them down.

He had tried to shut it out for so many years; most days, he could be numb. But on _this _day…

It still hurt, hurt so badly.

His hand gripped the necklace tighter as he brought it to his face.

_Bring them back, Yue. _

* * *

_Yellow eyes appeared beneath crudely cut bangs, shimmering and twitching with malice. It made her shudder, the look those eyes gave her… _

_Azula always lies._

_Don't look at the eyes!_

_But she couldn't help it, she could not, and her own gaze flitted up to the savage face looming over her. Where was she now? Where was Hei Bai?_

_But… No. She wasn't in the Spirit World anymore. She had come back, Aang had brought her back to worried faces of the North where she could finally make her voice heard again. She was…safe._

_Did Hei Bai miss her?_

_Could he still feel her presence in the gentle ponds or was she completely gone from that world, a mere mortal already forgotten?_

_She was lying on the ground. Her eyes were frozen, transfixed on the girl looming over her. Her haircut was terrible, but now was not the time for a joke. But, what time _was_ it? Where was she? _

_She turned her head, looking around her._

_A courtyard. There was smoke on the pillars surrounding the great area, showing signs of a struggle involving fire. A tapestry on the far side of the yard, hanging limply from the wall was tattered and burnt, but she could vaguely see the signia of a flame embroidered onto the thick fabric._

_Fire Nation._

_She was in the Fire Nation…but why?_

I never meant to leave my home!

_"__You lost, you know."_

_Her head snapped forwards again. The girl standing over her leaned down, bringing her face close to Katara's. Her heart began beating wildly but she fought to keep her breaths even, if only to feign strength._

_"__The Agni Kai," the girl continued. "You _lost_."_

_Katara began shaking her head, but she felt rooted, frozen upon the ground. Her body was not listening to her! _

_"__My poor brother Zuzu lost once, too, just like you. He got off easier, though… He left with only a scar and exile." She stood up, hands on her hips, smirking at the waterbender on the ground. "You didn't get so lucky."_

_Katara swallowed painfully, her fingers twitching at her sides. Maybe… Maybe if there was water…_

_The girl's foot slammed down on her arm, preventing her from moving. Katara gasped, squirming frantically._

_"__You are so weak!" the girl cried, cackling loudly. "I wouldn't even have called that a _real_ Agni Kai. You might as well have just given up."_

_Katara's eyes narrowed angrily, her lips twisting into a snarl._

_"__But you always lie, don't you?" the waterbender growled. "So it must have been some fight."_

A voice.

_It was… It was hers. _

My voice?

_She could speak, she could hear herself speaking, she… _

_Please, gods, don't let this be a lie!_

_But it was not a lie, for the girl recoiled for a moment before her face settled back into its horribly sadistic smirk._

_"__Well," she drawled, leaning back down again, "here I was worried you had forgotten all about me. I heard dying does that to people. I guess I was wrong."_

_Katara huffed, fighting to turn her head away from the girl's gaze as she whispered, "Where is my brother…Azula?"_

_Azula whirled around, walking away for a moment, her hands clasped behind her back. She did a small circle in the courtyard and Katara grimaced as her chest began to feel hot._

_"__Does it hurt?" Azula sneered._

_It… It did hurt. It hurt so badly. Her skin was itching, blistering, smoking as her dress began burning away. Katara wanted to scream, she wanted to scream so badly and she _could_ now, but she could not give her the satisfaction! No, she could not be weak. She had lost…She had lost the Agni Kai, Azula said so!_

But Azula always lies_._

_And what if, this time, she didn't?_

_Azula stopped in front of her once more, this time squatting down. Her fingers pried away at the fabric on Katara's chest, revealing an angry, blistering hole where her heart should be. Azula grabbed Katara's hair, yanking her forward off the ground until their foreheads touched._

Don't be scared. Don't be weak. Don't…

_"__You lost, water peasant," Azula chirped. Her eyes were yellow, so yellow it was inhumane. "I beat you. I _killed_ you. My idiot brother was beside himself, for I, the true Firelord made him watch while you burned away! _I killed you! _And now… I will gladly do it again."_

_And then blue surrounded her, but not the blue she loved. No, this was not water, this was electricity, winding like snakes through the air as Azula brought her hand to Katara's chest – the way in which Katara had, in her past vision, touched the scarred man – and the hole burned bigger as the lightning entered her chest, unforgiving, blistering, and sharp, so sharp she couldn't breathe and the pain…the _pain_, it hurt so badly she almost couldn't feel it. Her mind was swirling, Azula's voice becoming more and more distant as her laughter echoed in the courtyard as she screeched, "Zuzu! My favorite family member… Was once not enough? Have you returned to watch the show again?" Katara's eyes flew open one last time and the scarred man was suddenly there, sinking to his knees, his hand reaching out for her. He was holding his chest – _he has…the same scar as me?_ – as he tried to crawl forward, but he shuddered before dropping to the ground, still. _

_There was screaming then as the lightning filled her mouth. It was piercing and hair-raising and Katara cried, writhing on the ground as she fought to close her ears to the sounds of this scream – _gods, make that sound go away!_ – but when she opened her eyes to the final surge of light, she was looking down at herself on the ground and realized the wails were coming from her own mouth._

She bolted upright, her chest heaving with sobs as her body shuddered violently, her hands painfully grasping at her sheets. Sweat dripped from her chin – _maybe they're tears? – _as she threw the blankets from her body, unable to stand the hot itchiness on her legs and arms. There were hands holding her – _not this again…not this! Let me go! – _but they were warm and calloused and they shook her gently. There was a man saying, "Katara… Katara!" and she opened her eyes, her vision blurred as she looked up at a dark-haired, tan-skinned man with striking blue eyes. They were… So familiar.

"_Sokka…_" she breathed, tears of joy overpowering the tears of fear in her eyes, but the man was shaking his head softly, still muttering her name, over and over again. _He makes my name sound…nice._ Her eyes adjusted. It was dimly lit in her room; the other candles had burned their way down save for one and still it feebly tried to light her chambers. She quit struggling, letting her eyes focus in on the face in front of her. The hair was dark, yes, but there were streaks of gray in it. It was not shaved on the sides and pulled back into a warrior's tail like her brother's, no, it was pulled halfway back into a bun with a familiar dreaded lock of hair swinging against his cheek. His skin was weathered and worn, but his eyes remained prominently sparkling. Katara shuddered, throwing herself forward with child-like sobs, her tears dampening the wool of his Water Tribe tunic.

"Dad," she cried, "Dad… Dad…"

His arms wound around her, squeezing her so tightly she could not breathe, but even if she could, she would not have for these arms, these strong, warm arms were holding her and he was so comfortable, so _familiar_, and she trembled, breathing in the scent of her father. He was stroking her hair, his fingers massaging her scalp and she released all tension in her body, sinking against him as her heart fluttered wildly. She feared it would burst from joy and relief but, if anything, it would not be a bad way to die.

"What's happening to me?" she whispered, clinging to him. He pulled back, holding her out at arm's length as he smiled, his hand cupping her face and wiping her tears from her cheeks.

"You are plagued with terrors," he replied softly, "but they are only of the mind. You are stronger than them – that, you should always be certain of. More importantly…" He beamed, hugging her once more. "You are safe. My daughter… I knew you were too stubborn to let Azula defeat you."

_Black hair; crudely-cut bangs. Yellow eyes. So…lupine. _

_Lightning._

Katara gasped, yanking back from her father.

"Azula always lies!" she cried before cradling her head in her hands. Her temples were throbbing painfully as she squeezed her eyes shut, willing the images to pass. _They are of the mind! They are of the mind. I am… stronger than them._

"She does always lie, Katara," Hakoda insisted, "but you are with me. You are safe. No one can hurt you now."

She sniffled, reaching out for her father's hand.

"I want you to tell me what happened to me…on that day. _Please_, dad. I need to know. I can't stand these images in my mind. I'm unable to understand them or control them, so maybe… Maybe if I knew everything, I would be okay." She looked up at him, her eyelashes heavy from tears and he stroked her cheek again.

"Of course," he murmured. "I understand that you have met the Avatar. I'm sure he has already told you many wild things of your past with him – all fun things, no doubt. But do not shun him or turn him away; he speaks truth. You and Sokka traveled with Aang for a year, helping him gain strength to fight Firelord Ozai."

"Firelord… Ozai. The Hundred Year War?"

Hakoda nodded, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Yes. You _ended_ it, Katara. You saved us all." His face crumpled into a teary smile. "Your mother would be so proud."

"It is hard to believe," she replied heavily, "that I…left home and Gran-Gran. I left everyone to be with a kid and…somehow, we did all of those things you said we did. The last memory I have is arguing with Sokka in our canoe." Her voice dropped to a thin whisper. "I was only three-and-ten then."

"While Aang was facing his destiny against Ozai as the Avatar, you fought alongside the Firelord's banished son. You fought his sister, Azula. I can see you have seen her in your night terrors and visions. The trauma of that experience did not leave you alongside with your memories."

"Did she really beat me?"

Hakoda looked at her for a moment, shifting on the bed before his gaze dropped to his hands holding hers. "It appeared that way," he said, his thumb tracing circles over her skin. "We thought we lost you. Aang brought you back to the North; you were in a deep coma – one we thought you would not awaken from, but Aang abandoned all uncertainty. He traveled into the Spirit World near every day and remained there for hours, just looking for you."

"Hei Bai was looking after me," Katara replied quietly. "I was alright, at least in spirit."

Hakoda smiled, tilting his head. "Aang reached out to him, pleading with him to take care of you."

"He…did?"

"He wanted you to be safe. Spirits do not usually provide aid for mortals, but Hei Bai remembered you. You and Aang helped return him to his true form and wash his anger away. He felt indebted to repay the Avatar, and so he agreed to act as your guardian until you could be found."

"Why couldn't Hei Bai just tell Aang where I was, if it were that important?"

"Even spirits don't know everything, Katara. It took Hei Bai a while to locate you, as well. When he did… He knew it was not his purpose to give you back. Aang needed to find you on his own. It was a test to his endurance and strength as the Avatar but, more importantly, as a spirit. His heart guided him and," he laughed here, "though you were quite elusive, he never gave up. That was what the spirits wanted to see."

"I see." Katara fidgeted, her fingers brushing over the burn on her chest. "So Azula gave me this?"

"She was a prodigy. She has never played fair. In an unguarded moment, she struck you." She could hear sadness in her father's voice and it pained her greatly, but she struggled to keep her face straight though her heart began beating wildly as visions of her night terrors began piecing themselves together. "Azula wanted nothing more than to _win_, no matter the cost; no matter who she destroyed in her plight. Her older brother brought you back to us. To see you…so limp in his arms…" Hakoda lurched forward, pulling Katara into his arms again. "I thought I would never see you again."

Tears welled up in her eyes as her grip tightened around him. She buried her face into his neck, wetting his skin with her tears but he did not pull back; if anything, her hair felt damp from him, too.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Don't, Katara. Don't feel guilty. It has been your weakness and your greatest strength – to _care._ So don't apologize. Don't feel as though you owe us something in return. We only wanted you back. I would have waited a lifetime just to have you again."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too."

She pulled back, sniffling. "But what about Sokka?"

Hakoda's face hardened, but she could see a flicker of…something in his eyes. What _was_ it? Everyone she asked about her brother had the same strange look when she spoke of him. It frustrated her, but now…Now she was getting angry. Her eyebrows knitted together as her eyes narrowed. She stiffened, her gaze never lifting from her father's. _If I could read your mind, would I want to?_

"He's not here," Hakoda said.

"Where is he?"

"You will know, but do not worry," he said hastily. "He is happy."

Katara let out the breath she had been holding in. _So, that's it? He left, after the war? What a jerk… He could have at least stayed until I woke up! Why was that so hard for anyone to tell me? Did they fear I would spiral into a depression without him? If he wanted to leave, I'm glad he left. I want him to be happy. Jeez, that idiot._

Hakoda stood, holding up the dress Katara had hastily thrown off earlier after insulting her mirror image. He laughed, but it seemed more strained and force than before, but Katara shook the thought from her mind. _I'm reading too much into things._

"I must admit, it isn't a dress I could really have ever imagined you in, but it _is_ pretty." Katara rolled her eyes, snatching it from his hands.

"Thanks, I guess, though I'm not too fond of it either." She fingered the cool fabric, her eyes following the intricate embroidery.

"Aang picked it out, believe it or not." Hakoda folded his arms, his mouth hardening into a line. "Though I'm starting to wonder just how revealing it is when you put it on."

Katara scoffed, her lips pulling up at the corners into a smirk. "Please, Dad. Have you seen him? He's still such a child. I don't think he could have ulterior motives about me even if he wanted to."

Hakoda grunted, waving his hand. "Well, no matter. I will leave you to your changing."

"What's going on tonight, anyway?"

He paused at the doorway, looking back with a smile. "It's the five year anniversary of the Hundred Year War, though we have added a little celebration for your return to the festivities. The Firelord isn't able to make it and is not yet aware of your awakening, but the Kyoshi Warriors should be arriving in a couple hours. One of them is eager to see you – as well as a stubborn earthbender you used to butt heads with constantly. Don't fret if you cannot remember them, we have already explained the situation. They just wanted to see you and to celebrate. You were all very good friends, but you will figure that out soon enough."

Katara looked at the dress in her hands. "We were all….friends…"

"You should wear your hair down," Hakoda said suddenly. "It reminds me of your mother."

Katara looked up, her mouth parting in a small "o", but he was gone.

_Alright, mirror. Moment of truth.  
_

She eyed the makeup on the vanity with uncertainty and sighed.

_All this pressure now that I know people are coming just to see me…_

_Thanks, Dad._


	5. 4: Anniversary

**I realized a little too late that Pakku is actually Grampakku now, but I think for the sake of this story (since it's a continuation but doesn't follow the events of Korra and diverges a little from the ATLA finale and after-stories), it'll be alright if I keep them as just comrades. Maybe there will be a little Kanna/Pakku love bonding in this and then you can actually watch it happen. Who knows! *shrug* Anyway, I know this might be moving a little slowly, but I promise it will start picking up pace very soon.  
**

**Thanks, as always, for reading :) **

* * *

**Chapter 4: Anniversary**

"Uncle, we cannot stop."

"I only need a moment to drink my sweet jasmine tea." General Iroh at on the ground and cuddled his cup close to his chest, closing his eyes and smiling. He started humming, swaying gently in the shade's refuge of the hot sun on the road to the Fire Nation villages.

"We don't have time for tea!" Fire Lord Zuko snarled, ripping back the curtains of their litter, his head hanging out the window.

Iroh opened one eye, replying, "Perhaps you should try some calming chamomile instead, nephew."

Zuko froze, glaring at his uncle. He blew air out of his nose in anger, two small jets of flames igniting beneath his nostrils and pulled his head back inside the litter.

"Fine, do what you please," his muffled voice said.

"Why must you rush this day?" Iroh questioned, smiling to himself. "Today, we pay homage to those of your nation – _our_ nation. We must honor their loyalty and love!"

Zuko's head slowly appeared out the window once more, his face flat. "With tea?"

"What else is there?" Iroh laughed, one hand on his rounded belly. "I know the hardships you face on this day, nephew. I understand the great lengths you have gone to forget this anniversary, but surely your people will not. What was a day of sorrow to you was a day of reckoning and rebirth to them. Honor it, if not for yourself, then for them. They, after all, adore you." Iroh winked, finishing his tea in a satisfying gulp and then eyeing the mound of tea leaves left behind, as if trying to read his fortune.

The guards surrounding the litter were no doubt stone-faced behind their masks and their heads remained rigidly forward, but Zuko knew they were listening.

_They always listen, the bastards._

"Now, let us go into the city!" Iroh exclaimed as he crawled into the litter beside Zuko. Zuko grumbled internally, but he said nothing. If anything, his uncle's constant positivity helped balance him out.

_But not on this day._

Iroh leaned over, patting a bag at his hip as he whispered, "I feel a bit of shopping would do us both wonders." Zuko rolled his eyes as the litter began moving forward with a slight lurch and Iroh merely smiled, squeezing Zuko's knee with reassurance.

* * *

"Lady Mai, are you ready?"

Mai sighed in annoyance. She hated the servant girls.

"I suppose so," she drawled, wrapping her shawl of red silk around her thin shoulders. It was noon, but she could already see storm clouds gathering in the distance, dark and ominous, but refreshingly so. If anything, the rain reflected how she felt and, at any rate, it was a nice reprieve from the constant bearing down of the sun on her pale skin. She hated sunburns more than she hated the servants who followed at her heels like yapping dogs.

"The litter is waiting for you, whenever you wish to depart."

_Agni, let's just get this over with._

She crawled in to the carriage, plopping heavily down onto the plump cushions and silken throws. So much red – red and gold, it was as though fire itself was trying to regurgitate its children, but she loved red. It made her hair appear even more strikingly dark and skin even fairer, so she welcomed it, but she plastered a blank expression of boredom upon her face as she leaned back, fingering the tassels that decorated the window.

_The five year anniversary. Look out, world of the lower class, you will be blessed with your Fire Lord and his future lady today._

Her fiancé's litter had left hours before; the Fire Lord seemingly never needed preparations nor _wanted_ them; he simply did as he was told to merely get things over with and she admired that about him. _You rush so quickly to satisfy the needs of your people, yet you still refuse to marry me? That, in itself, is the greatest service to them, so why wait?_

Her heart had been beating uncharacteristically fast since that morning, it was true; today she would see the Fire Lord, today she would be _with_ the Fire Lord for all citizens to gaze upon in admiration and loyalty. He could not run from her today, he could not turn her away. He would be forced to play the part of a loving fiancé and an even more loving Fire Lord, but there was a part of her that was alright, if only for that moment, with pretending he truly meant it. She fingered the cool fabric of her shawl, wondering what robes he decided to wear today and how much longer his hair was than when she last saw him.

_And maybe he is wondering the same about me?_

"_Maaaaaaiiiiiii!"_

She grunted, looking out the window. A familiar bobbing head of brown hair appeared across the street as a nimble body dressed in pink sprinted towards her carriage. A wide smile was plastered across the girl's face, giggles emanating from her mouth like a child.

"Ty Lee?" Mai asked in surprise. The girl did a cartwheel, landing right in front of Mai's window, her long braid swinging against her back.

"The Kyoshi Warriors left for the North Pole," she said happily, gripping the window and pulling herself effortlessly into the litter. Mai smirked at the wondrous expressions on the guards' faces as she scooted over to the other side of the bench so her childhood friend could come to rest beside her. Ty Lee immediately took Mai's hands in her own, her eyes sparkling and lively.

"They said I could come stay with you for a while. Suki and the other girls are going to see Aang, but I told them I wanted to see you and Zuko! Isn't that great?" Her face beamed as she leaned forward on her knees, close to Mai's face.

_Zuko._

_That name feels… wrong. I wonder if I will ever be able to say it myself._

Mai sighed, pulling her hands back. "That is great," she said in monotone, looking out the window. "Yet, the Water Tribes and the Avatar usually travel here for the anniversary celebrations. Why are they having their own?"

Ty Lee bit on her lower lip, holding a knuckle to her chin.

"I think they are honoring Katara and Sokka," she replied quietly. "It explains why Suki was so anxious to leave right away. Even Toph sent a confirmation she would be attending, and she has never cared to join the celebrations before. I could be wrong, but… If it _is_ a family celebration, I wouldn't want to impose."

"Honoring… Katara?" Mai blinked, struggling to keep her face flat.

"I think it's great!" Ty Lee beamed again, folding her arms behind her head as she leaned back against the plush cushions. "I sure do miss them." Her face was overcome by a shadow of sorrow and nostalgia for a moment, but Mai blinked and then it was gone.

Mai muttered a small, "Mm," as she wrapped her shawl around herself a little tighter than before.

_Children of the Water Tribe… They deserve honor, I suppose._

"Ty Lee," she spoke suddenly, somewhat curt. "Please, do not mention this to the Fire Lord. He has been… stressed, of late. I don't want anything to…"

"Say no more!" the girl exclaimed, holding up a hand. "I understand. How is Zuko, by the way?"

There was a light rap on the door. Mai turned to the guard standing outside, who bowed deeply as he asked, "My ladies, are we ready to depart?" Mai waved her hand submissively, grunting in affirmation. The guard bowed again and, moments later, the litter lurched as it was lifted and began moving forward.

"So, how is he doing?"

Mai lounged back, holding her fingers against her forehead as she sighed, long and heavy, replying apathetically, "He hates this day." She closed her eyes; she despised the rocking of litters as they moved down the pathway into the city. "I don't blame him. Festivities are so… loud."

"Has there been any marriage announce-"

"No," Mai snapped, opening one eye to glare at her. _This is the end of that conversation. Don't be a fool, Ty Lee._

"What a shame," Ty Lee said, frowning with disappointment. "You'll look so lovely in wedding attire."

"Hmph."

_This moving forward… To you, to the Fire Lord, my fiancé – is it all in vain? How will you greet me when you see me step out onto the ground?_

_Will you look at me the way you looked at the turtle-ducks as you touched the water?_

She turned away from her childhood friend, ignoring her widening gray eyes – _I'm done talking about this –_ and focused on the landscape that passed by them, losing its vibrancy in the coming rain. Mai wondered how many hours of sun were left before the clouds engulfed them all in darkness.

_What a time to be alive._

* * *

"There." Gran-Gran leaned back, her hands on her hips, a great smile tugging at her lips. "You look wondrous, Katara. If I knew you back in my prime, I would have been quite the jealous friend."

Katara shook her head, rolling her eyes as she smiled. Turning to the mirror, she admired the work Gran-Gran had done on her hair. _It looks…pretty. _Gran-Gran knew she no longer felt she could wear her usual braid – it was a thing of the past – and so her grandmother let her hair fall down to her waist in loose, thick curls and had pinned back pieces above her ears, which were curled more tightly the rest. Gran-Gran had presented her with new beads for the loops of hair that hung on the sides of her face; seemingly made of ice, they were crystalline and pure and blown from thick glass and so the midday sun shone through them brilliantly. Katara fingered them silently, frowning slightly at her reflection.

The dress looked better than she initially thought earlier that morning. It brought her some solace; she held out her arms, watching the way the blue fabric trickled over her body like water and pooled on the floor at her feet. It was a little long – apparently it belonged to some girl named Yue's mother – but Katara liked the way it trailed behind her when she walked.

"Are you disappointed?" her grandmother asked quietly, her hands on her shoulders.

_How short you look, Gran-Gran… _

Katara sighed, shaking her head firmly, the loops in her hair swinging against her cheeks.

"I look…less sick," she replied heavily. Gran-Gran smiled, tilting her head as she said, "You look beautiful, Katara. The hardships you have survived, the sleep that has been stolen from you, the plague of thoughts you have been forced to know… Do not doubt yourself so much. You do not look sick nor tired nor weak. You look like a new woman. You look like life itself."

There were tears in her grandmothers eyes as they both stared into Katara's reflection. Her hand went to her neck out of habit, but she found it bare and so her gaze dropped.

"My mother's necklace…" she muttered. "I lost it. The worst part is, I can't remember where or when."

"Things have a funny way of finding their way back to you," Gran-Gran said. "And if it doesn't, your mother will understand. But here" – she reached into her robes and pulled out a pair of earrings, brilliantly crafted glass of multiples shades of blue, all winding around one another – "take these. Hakoda had them made for you."

Katara paused, just looking at her grandmother, drinking in her face. She smiled, but her lips trembled slightly as she lurched forward, holding Gran-Gran tightly as the old woman stroked her hair lovingly.

"Thank you," Katara whispered.

There was a light rap on the door.

Gran-Gran pulled back, smiling at she wiped at her eyes and said, "Come in."

Katara's father entered, his build tall and strong amidst the doorframe. He was wearing the familiar wolfhelm she had watched him leave for battle in and was dressed in thick furs and deep blue robes of the Southern Water Tribe. He froze when his eyes met Katara's and – _oh goodness, you better not start crying too _– he smiled wildly, holding out his hand.

"You ready, kid?" he asked. Katara huffed in amusement, rolling her eyes and giggling softly up at him.

"Let's do it," she replied firmly, putting her earrings in. She squared her shoulders back and stood tall. Her heart was beating, it was beating so fast she feared it could be seen through the top of her dress, but she didn't mind it. She welcomed it, she _basked_ in it – she was _alive_.

_I made it. I made it this far._

_I'm still here, mom._

She placed her hands in her father's as he led them out into the hallway and Katara lifted her chin slightly, letting her face soften. _I can do this._ And when a flurry of green appeared at the end of the hallway and the music began playing outside, she heard a collective shout that sent her heart pounding inside of her chest.

"_Katara!_"

* * *

"Uncle, will you stop singing?"

Zuko was sitting back in the litter, arms folded, frowning fiercely. Iroh had been swaying blissfully, singing some song about a secret tunnel for near an hour and the Fire Lord had half a mind to jump from the window and walk the rest of the way to the village where he would wait for Lady Mai.

"Something has you on edge, nephew," the general responded, opening his eyes. He laced his fingers together over his rounded belly, leaning back against the plush pillows of silk. Zuko scowled, whipping his head to look out the window, fiercely studying the houses and shops they passed by as they came into the town.

"I hate this day," he muttered.

"You are uncertain without the Avatar here."

"He should be here!" Zuko replied heatedly.

"The Avatar, as Chief Hakoda's letter stated, has other affairs to tend to with the Northern Water Tribe. He is not _abandoning_ you, Zuko. At any rate, you still have the lovely Lady Mai to keep you warm while you dote on your loving citizens," his uncle added with a sly wink. Zuko's scowl deepened and he felt his blood rush to his cheeks. He opened his mouth to respond, but instead shut it quickly, quietly fuming. His eyes avoided his uncle's, but he could feel the old man's gaze strengthening on him, making him squirm uncomfortably.

"What do you want from me?" Zuko finally shouted. "Stop looking at me like that."

The litter faltered slightly as a guard poked his head through the window.

"Your Grace?" he inquired. "Did you need something?"

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling sharply and his uncle giggled as he snapped, "When will we arrive?"

"Not a quarter hour yet, Your Grace."

"Good."

The guard left and Zuko rested his chin in his palm, watching the houses as they rolled by. Iroh stirred next to him, sighing happily in comfort as he rearranged the pillows around his body. When he stilled, Zuko could feel his eyes bearing into his back and he sighed, turning back around to face his uncle.

"Yes?" he prompted, an eyebrow raised.

_What the hell do you want?_

His agitation was high on this day, no man could deny that. Were it not for his role as the Fire Lord, he would have failed miserably at a half-assed attempt at composure.

_I am the Fire Lord._

_I am the ruler of my nation._

_But at what cost?_

He grimaced, memories of lightning flashing across his eyes as his sister's laughter struck seemingly into his soul. He scratched at his hair, willing the images to pass and his hand slipped into the pocket of his robes, fingering a familiar, cool stone. It touched his skin like water and it made his heart pound faster yet, in a way, calmed him at the same time.

"I have half a mind of your ventures this morning," Iroh said. The way he said it, calm and quiet, almost _hesitantly_, did not irritate Zuko as he would have expected, but rather pulled at his chest, sending a wave of guilt washing over him. His stomach felt strange, his head heavy and his fingers released their hold on the choker in his pocket as he returned his hand to his lap.

"Do you now?" he mumbled.

"Does Lady Mai know?"

"Know _what_?" Zuko spat. "That I miss my _friends_? That I'm Fire Lord because one of them _died_ for me?"

_One of them._

_Fool, you can say her name. You owe her at least that much._

The back of his eyes felt hot, but were it fire or tears, he did not know.

_Let them know. If my people love me as much as they say they do, let them know their freedom claimed the life of a girl. Let them know I was weak. _

_Let them know I hate who I am._

"Mai has no business giving me a chance."

Iroh leaned forward, lightly touching the Fire Lord's hand.

"She has a future with you, Zuko," he said gently. Zuko snatched his hand out of his uncle's grasp, replying curtly,

"Not a good one."

Iroh did not move to speak and for that, Zuko was grateful. His head had begun painfully throbbing near his temples and he felt weary.

_I hate this day._

The litter stopped with a slight lurch, lowered to the ground by the Fire Nation guards. The door opened, sunlight penetrating the silken red walls, near blinding Zuko in its brightness. He squinted, scowling as he followed his uncle out, who was humming that damned tunnel song again.

_Rain?_

The sunlight was strong and searing, but Zuko could see dark clouds gathering in the distance. He squared his shoulders back, nodding to his guards as they formed a group behind and in front of him. Iroh looked around, smiling widely as he said,

"How much longer until the Lady Mai joins us?"

"I would not expect more than a half hour, my lord," a guard said, his voice muffled behind his helm. "Her litter left a while after yours, but they made no stops."

"You see, nephew! Now we do not have long to wait!" Iroh said, clamping his hand down onto Zuko's shoulder. "I knew I needed a tea break for a reason. I would not mind having another cup while we wait, actually; no, I would not mind that at all." Zuko lifted an eyebrow, but he allowed the tiniest of smiles to play at his lips and, if anyone were to see it, they would blink and it would be gone.

"Come, come," Iroh said excitedly as the escorts laid a cushion and blanket down upon the ground for Iroh to sit. An umbrella was opened for shade as Iroh was given his teapot and cups by a young servant girl. Her eyes met Zuko's for a brief moment before she blushed deeply and lowered her gaze, mumbling a, "Forgive me, Your Grace," as she backed away. _Is my gaze so unwanted that you feel you must apologize upon seeing it?_

He scowled, but Iroh thrust towards a cup of tea, to which Zuko warmed his palms to heat it. Iroh sighed happily, inhaling deeply the scents of chamomile.

"You see, Zuko? Chamomile," he said dreamily. "The most calming of all herbs!" Zuko grunted, but he sipped at his tea dutifully, letting the bitter-sweet taste rest in his mouth for a moment. He wondered absently when Mai's litter would be arriving; he _hated_ waiting.

There was another part of him, however, that wished time could stop so she would never arrive. _Grim thoughts, Fire Lord; is this how you would treat your future wife?_

The word rested sourly within his mouth. _Wife._ He was running out of options, out of _reasons _and petty excuses to keep the royal marriage from happening. But why, _why_ did he need them in the first place? They were…already lovers once, when they were young and naïve and angsty. And had there been passion then? Maybe on his part, for a little while, but on hers… No, she was as stoic as ever. _Maybe…That is why, then. Can you blame a man for not wanting to pledge his love to cold stone?_

It was a little harsh; Mai had her moments where she softened and, he forced himself to bitterly admit, _he_ had no right to push her away for her apathy when he was as resentful and distant as ever.

_But I have a reason!_

He gritted his teeth to himself, glaring absently into the distance, his fingers tightening on his teacup. He could faintly hear Iroh singing the tunnel song again, which pulled at Zuko's nerves but he was too embedded in thought to fully notice the old man's antics. He did glare at him, however, when Iroh clasped Zuko's shoulder, saying, "My nephew's heart is a secret, secret tunnel – he may look intimidating sometimes, but he is shy and full of love!" which sparked a deep blush of the young servant girl's cheeks. Zuko quickly looked away from her, feeling his own face flush and turn hot, his ears no doubt pink, and he cursed his uncle for his embarrassing words.

The remaining minutes felt unbearably long; he felt stagnant and cramped, having forgotten about his tea and merely holding it absently. _Mai…_

And he wished he could read her mind, could see what damned thoughts she had and whether or not she even _wanted_ to be the Fire Lady. She never commented on her feelings nor her views on the arrangement, so maybe…just maybe, she wanted out of it, too?

_At the very least, I wouldn't blame her._

But Zuko grudgingly knew she would never back out. She believed in their people and their people believed in the royal marriage.

_There truly is no way out._

"My, I wonder if something is on your mind, Fire Lord."

He looked up at the sound of the awfully monotonous voice, noticing for the first the deep scowling of his lips and the steam that rose to his face from the tea that boiled violently in his hands. He mumbled a small, "Ah", as he let his hands cool, his blood calm, and his gaze met the stoic, gray eyes of an ebony-haired noblewoman.

He thrust his tea towards the servant girl, who took it quietly, but something about her looked a little more disappointed than before and the Fire Lord stood, brushing off his robes as he bowed to his fiancée.

"Lady Mai," he said platonically. "Good to see you looking well."

"And you," she replied, her voice bored and apathetic and she sighed, long and drawn-out. _Agni, I hate it when you do that._ "This village is…_nice_."

Zuko fought to keep himself from rolling his eyes at the painfully formal and emotionless banter. He opened his mouth to speak when a flurry of pink and brown came rushing at him, pummeling into him with such force he stumbled backwards, spluttering and huffing from the impact.

"_Zuko!_"

"Wh- Angi… What in- Dammit, I- _Ty Lee_?"

She pulled back, giggling, braid swinging, teeth shining – she was all Ty Lee as usual. She didn't look any different since he last saw her and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. He could hear Mai sighing again in the background and it sparked a slight twinge in his jaw, but he ignored his annoyance and instead focused his eyes on the girl in front of him.

"What are you doing here? And shouldn't you be wearing your formal warrior attire?"

"The Kyoshi Warriors went to the North Pole and I wanted to come see you guys!" She threw her arms around the Fire Lord's neck again, burying her face into his neck in content and he looked to Mai, silently pleading to her with his eyes to help him out. She shrugged, folding her arms, stating flatly,

"The Kyoshi Warriors gave her some time off."

Zuko scowled, his hands balling into fists at his sides while he waited for Ty Lee to finish caressing him. She finally pulled back but poked him in his chest, giggling,

"You feel stronger, _Fire Lord_. You're all muscular and strong now! I might have to hug you more often."

Zuko's mouth parted as blush flamed on his cheeks and neck and he whipped his head to the side, avoiding everyone's eyes. _Agni, this is awful. _

Iroh's head poked up as the old man stood.

"He has been mastering his training very well," he said proudly, "And when we dine tonight, we all can take turns flattering Zuko's physique!" The Fire Lord glared angrily at his uncle. _You are never a help, old man!_

_"_Now," his uncle continued, "I believe it is time we move forward to greet our people and celebrate this joyous day! Let us greet this secret tunnel of love with happiness and pride! Secret, secret, secret, secret tunnel…" He began singing again and Zuko huffed, two small jets of steam shooting out below his nostrils as he stomped forward, leaving the servants holding umbrellas for shade behind.

"Uncle Iroh, that song is beautiful!" he heard Ty Lee quip. "Where did you learn it? Is it Fire Nation?"

"No, my dear, it was first sung to me by our master swordsman, Sokka, many years ago. It comes from the nomads, a particularly musical group of them!"

Zuko glowered, but he slowed his pace to allow Mai to walk next to him. _The people, _our_ people…They would like to see us together._

"_Two lovers, forbidden from one another; a war divides their people…"_

And so they entered the Fire Nation villages, Mai at his side while his uncle sang the song of tunnel love that came from Sokka.

His chest tightened at the Water Tribesman's name. Mai looked over at him when he began walking faster; he refused to meet her gaze, but he felt her quicken her pace to keep up, though she had grunted in annoyance. His hand slid into his pocket, his heart leaping into his throat, guilt and regret flooding him when his fingers brushed against the cool stone.

_Kat-_

Roaring cheers erupted suddenly, engulfing him in the loud joy of his people. He started, looking up to see hundreds of citizens gathered around a platform, anxiously awaiting the Fire Lord and his fiancée. Ty Lee was bouncing, waving her arm wildly as a beaming smile took over nearly her entire face. Mai threaded her arm through Zuko's, who stiffened slightly but did not pull away.

He mounted the stairs, his face strong and devoid of any of the conflicted thoughts he had been drowning in. He nodded to his people, drinking in their faces, their smiles and cheers, letting himself become enveloped by the sound of victory and pride. He stood in front of them, tall and sturdy and regal, but his heart did not feel so. There was something in the way that Mai's hand tightened on his arm that almost settled him, made him feel grounded and slowed the pattering of his heart.

He bared his shoulders back, letting the fire within him turn away from rage and into strength.

_No turning back. _

_Five years and I have not turned back._

* * *

He was a true Fire Lord. That, no one could deny. She felt something stir within her…_is it pride?_...as she watched her fiancé speak to his – _no, _our_ – _people.

"It has been five long years since the Fire Nation was reborn from the ashes it caused. We have been tarnished, we have been turned away and we have struggled with rebuilding our name, but Ozai's mistakes are not ours! The world has seen our peace. The world has come to know our kindness. Though our fires never die, we have demonstrated to our now-allied nations that fire is not destruction, but life, power, and ambition." The Fire Lord paused, looking oddly nostalgic – _or is it sad? – _for a moment and, up close, Mai could see the muscles in his jaw twitching.

"It is true," he said finally. "We have seen death. Our friends have fallen, our families have been broken by the stress of my father… But he was not the true phoenix – we are!" The crowd cheered violently, their roars deafening. "I promised you peace. I have given you peace – we have found it and worked for it _together_. It has been five years since everything changed, since the Avatar saved us from tyranny and in that time, we have become a nation I never thought we would be lucky enough to be. We have grown so quickly and so much in this time that no one will dare doubt us again. The Fire Nation is strong because of you! The Fire Nation is peaceful because of all of you and today, we celebrate our freedom! We are moving forward and we are doing it as one. Let the world continue to see our love and know that, in a time of struggle, we have risen from our ashes in harmony!"

They were screaming with their love for the Fire Lord. _Impressive_, Mai reflected. _You have a way with words._ Zuko looked down at her, causing her mind to go blank for a moment, but she cleared her throat, looking out towards the crowd as she raised her arm.

"As the future Fire Lady," she began, "I give you my gratitude and my love. I will never stray from this nation, which is so full of life and courage. I will do my best to honor you as you have honored us and I will stand by Fire Lord Zuko's side for all my remaining years, serving you and keeping you safe."

Her heart felt…strange. It was tight, but it was also…airy. She had never been good at speeches; they were incredibly boring and sounded so rehearsed it felt as though the speaker didn't give a firehawk's ass about his crowd. But there was something about the way her people looked at her and cheered for her that made her feel like, maybe this time, it was different.

_They actually… like me._

"Now is the time for celebration – let us drink, eat, and dance as we toast to our years of work and the years of peace that await us," Zuko finished, bowing deeply.

_The Fire Lord bows to his people? That's a new one. You definitely know how to show them you care._

And should she show him _she _cared? Would he notice?

Would he accept it?

She did not know how to speak to him and it annoyed her, for there was a time when the comfort between them was natural and true. But it was not that time anymore – they had grown, they had matured, and they no longer knew each other.

_Do you _want_ to know me?_

Her brain felt scattered, her mind twisting and turning and the crowd was still cheering, much to her agitation, and so she said the only thing she could think of, the only thing that would not give him the satisfaction of knowing she cared _more_.

"I'm bored."

He kept his face straight without so much of a hint of reaction.

"Okay," he said.

_That's all?_

"So, I'm hungry."

_Does this not bring back memories? _

He raised his arm in response to the cheers, his gaze fixated on his people.

"Then eat," he replied flatly.

Thunder rolled faintly in the distance, the clouds beginning to make their way across the sky.

The backs of her eyes felt hot, tight… But _why_? Why should she _care?_ It wasn't fair, it was stupid, it was all so stupid and it shouldn't hurt her, it should _not_ and as he turned and left, rejoining his uncle and Ty Lee, Mai had no choice but to follow.

For the rest of her life, she would no longer have a choice but to follow.

* * *

**Zutara is coming into play soon, I promise. Won't be long now, so please don't give up on me yet ^_^**

**PS: I know Zuko's kind of a dick and with Mai, it seems like I abandoned all of her character development in the show (buuuut, let's be honest, she didn't have much). But I just didn't want them to be too OOC and I really wanted to show how Katara's "death" really affected him and sent his emotions and thoughts to a secret, secret tunnel.**

**I'll stop with the tunnel thing now, it's just too hard to resist!**

**Onward, my friends. This is only just beginning! Action soon :)**


	6. 5: From Fleeting Words to Ashes

_I'm alive!  
_I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I took my little sister to college and I moved into my own place, so I started living by myself (yay!) and was dealing with a lot of things changing. I also had no internet for so long, that's why I couldn't update and I was so busy I never found time to go to a library for more than a few minutes at a time (to get internet), which was also frustrating in itself. So again, I'm really really sorry I suck so badly :( This isn't the only chapter I've written though - I have another long one and I'm editing Chapters 7 and 8 right now, so those updates will come quickly.

Shoutouts real quick!

**Nebelhexe: **Thank you so much for your review! It actually really helped me; I love reviews like this because it lets me know what more I can do and what I'm already doing good with so it was awesome to read what you thought and further develop my style for this story :p

**the Moon our Witness**: another fantastically helpful review! I think your questions will be answered in this chapter (as to why no one told Zuko and stuff like that), so I hope this chapter satisfies you :)

**Kslamm**: Thank you so much XD I'm still a little nervous about posting my writing, but this made me really happy and less hesitant about updating!

So thanks guys and I'll try to be quicker from now on. So yay, here we go...

* * *

**Chapter 5: From Fleeting Words to Ashes**

"_Katara!_"

They were running at her, a mad whirlwind of greens and silvers, chaotic and vibrant, and in a blinking moment she was knocked out of breath by two bodies that slammed into her, arms wrapped around her so tightly she could not breathe.

_Spirits, what the…?_

Her father was laughing, deep and boisterous, and Katara huffed, her arms pinned down to her sides by the girls' arm. One of them smelled like straight dirt and the other was wearing some golden headpiece that kept poking Katara in the eye. She began fidgeting, uncomfortably agitated at their foreign closeness and they finally pulled back – _spirits, thank you – _to stare at her, their eyes wide and glowing. Katara almost jumped back in surprise when she saw the pure white face with strange warpaint of the first girl and the milky, mischievous eyes of the second.

"You're back!" Warface exclaimed happily, her hands squeezing Katara's arms. Milky was standing still, her arms folded tightly, but she could see a small smile playing at her lips.

"Aye, Sweetness, did you miss us?"

_What the-_

"S…Sw…_Sweetness_?" Katara said heatedly, but her father put his hands on her shoulders, laughing softly down at her as he nodded to the girls.

"Katara, this is Suki, Captain of the Kyoshi Warriors and Toph Beifong, Aang's old earthbending teacher."

"Hey! Who ya calling old, gramps?" the black-haired earthbender snapped, jabbing her finger into Hakoda's chest. She folded her arms again, blowing a gust of air up her face, making her bangs do a little dance before settling once more against her forehead. "_I_ prefer the Blind Bandit, since I _am_ still the reigning champion of all earthbenders – and _metalbenders, _I might add."

Katara gaped at the women in front of her as Toph continued on, unbelievably unstoppable and forward:

"Seems to me you're still the same, Sugar Queen, but it sucks royal badger-mole your mind got wiped. I was expecting a grand reunion, but _no_, you just _had_ to go off and have a nice little tea party with spirits and forget all about us."

"S…Su…_Sugar Queen?" _Katara's hand balled into fists as she glared at the Blind Bandit – _or whatever the hell you call yourself_ – who was waving her hand submissively and turning way, starting down the long hallway.

"Yep," the girl called back. "Still the same."

Katara started forward angrily, her voice high and shrill. "Now, you wait just one-"

Suki began laughing nervously, scratching the back of her head.

_Oh, _you_ feel awkward, Warface?_

"Toph is…ah…heh, Toph is…" Suki stuttered, an uncomfortable smile plastered onto her painted face. She dropped her hand, shrugging. "You'll get used to her."

Toph cackled in the distance as she whirled around, pointing at Katara. _You sound like an angry witch when you laugh._

"You hear that, Madame Fussy Britches? You gotta get used to me – _all over again_!"

Katara fumed silently after the blind girl who was still guffawing like a crazy old hag, folding her arms behind her head as she strutted away.

"So…" Suki started nervously.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Unfortunately, I'm not," the warrior laughed. "She's brash, but she missed you a lot. We all did. But come with me! There are a ton of people who want to see you and Aang is waiting. Plus, the other Kyoshi Warriors and I prepared a demonstration for you to watch. We know you don't remember any of us, so that's why we want to show you some of our forms! It's like getting to see it all again for the first time!"

Suki grabbed her arm excitedly and began pulling her down the hallway. Katara looked back at her father and Gran-Gran, silently pleading with them to help, but Gran-Gran merely waved happily and her father laughed, nodding to her with a smile that she would be alright.

_Spirits, help me._

* * *

Mai sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Her speech earlier that day was good, Zuko would give her that, but he wondered how much of it she actually meant. The crowd soaked it up, genuine or not, so he supposed he should at least give her a little credit. But now, her constant sighing had soured his mood once more. He stabbed at the fish on his plate, forcing himself to keep his gaze down instead of glaring up at her.

"Are we almost done here?" she drawled.

"Yes, we have one more village to speak to and, after that, I fear our joyous travels are coming to an end," Iroh said, smelling his lunch happily. "But we still have tonight's festivities to look forward to!"

The _clink_ of a fork hitting a plate echoed around the room.

"Great," Mai said as she leaned back, draping her arm over the back of the chair. "I'd prefer to _not _get rained on if I'm supposed to be kissing the toes of our esteemed nobles tonight."

"Would you like me to part the clouds for you, my love?" Zuko suddenly smiled at her, taught and insincere. "I wouldn't want my dearest Fire Lady to get _wet_."

_Silence._

_No blandly sarcastic remark, fiancée?_

Wood scraped hard against the floor as Mai stood up fast, pushing her chair back. Her hands were balled into tight fights, her pale knuckles surprisingly even whiter than before. Her lips pursed into a thin line, her eyes narrowing at Zuko, but he held her gaze, refusing to be the first to look away. She scowled in anger and turned away, slapping her napkin down onto the table and leaving the room.

_Good riddance._

Zuko looked around. The servants were keeping their gaze on anything but him in the awkward silence and Iroh and Ty Lee just _stared_ at him, shock and confusion on their faces.

"That wasn't…That wasn't very lordly of you, Zuko," Iroh said finally, at a loss for words. Ty Lee wiped at her mouth gently and quietly, her eyes darting around the room in her discomfort.

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling sharply as he retorted, "She's been in a bad mood all _day_, Uncle. There's no pleasing her!"

"That's what it means to be a _husband_," Iroh said, winking slyly. "You search for the things that make her soft. It is difficult to keep your woman happy when you yourself are a-"

"If you say 'secret tunnel' one more time, I'm banishing you."

"I was going to say-"

"She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"You don't know that!" Zuko said vehemently.

"Maybe if you just gave her a chance," Ty Lee started quietly, "you'd see that she's actually very-"

"What would _you_ know?" Zuko snapped. "You worked for my sister. You _both _did. I'd say you two have the worst judgment out of all of us, and that means something coming from someone who spent three years trying to get his tyrant of a father to love him."

Ty Lee's mouth popped open in a small "o", but she said nothing in response, only lowered her eyes with hurt. Zuko's hand slipped into his pocket once more in the silence, fingering the necklace, willing the painful pounding in his temples to pass.

"Thank you for the luncheon, but I will take my leave now," the Fire Lord said tightly, pushing himself away from the table. He nodded once stiffly to his uncle before leaving the room in long, rigid strides. His shoulder bumped sharply against the servant girl's shoulder as he passed her, to which she jumped back and bowed deeply, mumbling more damned apologies.

* * *

"You're all here! This is so great."

Aang was beaming wildly, wearing a more formal version of his airbender's robes. He looked nice – almost _mature_ – but then he opened his mouth, babbling incessantly about the animals they would ride during Toph and Suki's visit and Katara immediately wiped that notion from her mind.

_Always a child, I suppose._

She had shifted slightly under Aang's initial gaze when she had come out onto a large balcony, roughly pulled by an excited Suki. There was something in his eyes, something in the way his cheeks turned scarlet and he stuttered his greetings that made her feel awkward. He had shaken it off quickly, however, and now he was leading them through the winding hallways of the north, towards a grand, open-ceilinged ballroom of ice that overlooked the city. She had not done much sight-seeing since her awakening, but the sheer magnitude of the carefully chiseled pillars of ice and the white stone encrusted with sapphires that rose from the pale earth, surrounded by glistening pools of clear water took each excited breath from her lungs. Her ears could not see enough, her eyes could not look at enough places at once and there was a hunger in her as Suki and Aang led her through the grand archways into the open ballroom.

There were two thrones of ice on a raised platform at the end of the room, one of which was empty and the other was inhabited by a sturdy man in grand robes. He stood when they entered, holding out his hands happily to his guests. There were many people inside, all chatting nervously and excitedly with the arrival of the Avatar and the lost waterbender and a band was playing traditional music that floated gently upwards, some songs of which Katara instantly recognized from her childhood in the south. She flushed deeply when the citizens' eyes turned to her and some of them even _bowed_, making her fidget uncomfortably with the sudden formality.

"Katara," an older man said, his robes swishing as he strode up to her and took her hands in his. "You look well."

She remembered him from the Spirit Oasis – _one of the many hands that pinned me down_ – and at first, he had seemed cold and indifferent, but now…Now he was strangely warm and welcoming, his lips twisting into a smile beneath a long, white mustache.

"Grand Master Pakku!" Suki exclaimed happily, throwing her arms around him. He stumbled back a bit in surprise, but he grinned, patting her back.

"Captain Suki, it has been far too long. And Aang, I am pleased to see your hard work these past years has seen success after long last!" Pakku placed his hand on Katara's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I owe you much gratitude for saving my old pupil."

Katara looked up at him, confused, but he was already looking away, nodding to Chief Hakoda as he entered the ballroom. Katara's face brightened at the long-familiar wolfshelm and the chief grinned at his daughter, nodding for her to give the day a chance, to which she could not help but nod back. _I'll try for your sake. _The music was light and airy and she found her head swaying gently from side to side in time with the beat as her eyes scanned the long table covered in hundreds of different dishes. It was fantastic, she had to admit – she saw some of her favorite foods from her days as a child along with new, strange-looking platters that were no doubt popular in the North. She made a mental note to give those a try, for she had not eaten much since Aang found her and she was finding herself eager to dine.

Suki was still on her arm, giggling and pointing at the festive decorations and the beautiful dresses of the Northern Water Tribe folk, which were gaudier and much more formal than she was used to seeing. Toph was leaning against a wall, her eyes unseeing but her head moved often, following the paths of citizens as they danced as though she _could_ see them.

"Isn't this great?" Suki squealed. "They're all here for _you_, you know."

"That can't be true," Katara replied sheepishly.

"Well, there _is_ truth in that," Hakoda said, coming to rest next to her, "but it is also a great day for the world to celebrate. It is the anniversary of the final battle of the Hundred Year War."

"Yeah, usually we go to the Fire Nation to celebrate with the Fire Lord, but since _you_ came back – with impeccable timing, I might add – we decided to have our own party here! Of course Aang will be missed, but I think it's time we switched up the party hosts anyway," Suki said excitedly, practically yanking on Katara's arm as she wiggled to the music. Katara liked her; she was strong and fierce, but still just a girl. It wasn't that she was strong because she defied womanhood, either – she embraced being a woman _because_ it was what made her so strong.

"My friends!"

The chatter and the music died down, hundreds of heads turning towards the thrones of ice, where Chief Arnook stood tall and proud. There was a wide, beaming smile on his face as he spoke loudly, "Today, we celebrate victory in peace! We celebrate the Avatar and his comrades. We celebrate the return of one our greatest friends" – he winked at Katara, who flushed deeply – "and we dance for the spirits that have protected us and given us hope in the darkest of times. I do not say to you that my daughter would wish to be here to witness this happiness, for she _is_ here. Alongside us, her spirit gives us balance and love, and her moonlit powers will never fail us. So for her, for the Avatar and friends, we must dance!"

"_For Yue_," the people said and next to Katara, Suki bowed her head, repeating, "For Yue."

Katara wanted to ask who Yue was, but then Chief Arnook was speaking again, raising a fine chalice.

"So here is for the Water Tribes, the north and the south. For brotherhood and family, for peace and strength. May our ice remain frozen and our goblets full." The crowd laughed and then the cheering followed soon after and the music started drifting towards the ceiling once more, lively and airy. The first hour flew by; nobles and citizens and benders alike swarmed around her as though she were infamous, asking her about where she learned her bending techniques and healing abilities, to which Katara could only stammer a few unintelligible words in return, for she did not know how to tell their hopeful faces that she did not remember. Many of them treated her with such formality, she felt an outsider to the Water Tribes, causing a stir of anxiety and tension within her chest, but Suki's presence was enough to keep her exterior as calm as she could force it to be. Katara did not speak to or see much of Toph in that time; the blind earth-and-metalbender was slipping in and out of the ballroom doing whatever it is the strange girl did, but once Katara spotted her cleaning her toes near one of the many food tables, much to the peoples' displeasure. She saw Aang surrounded by a group of children, some girls of whom were thirteen-and-ten like Katara – _no, like I _used_ to be _– and were incessantly giggling and blushing as the airbender floated in circles upon a tightly-spinning ball of air and she could not help but smile as she watched them watch him.

_It seems you deserve your fan club, from what I have heard._

And she had heard remarkable things about him – nothing short of what she would expect, especially regarding the tales of his adventures flying down Omashu's mail delivery chute (though Aang referred to it as "the world's greatest super slide"). There was word about Katara's own feats as well, some of which surprised her and others of which she could see herself doing. "The Painted Lady" was a popular subject amongst the people that approached her and the kind words sent a pink flush to her cheeks, but she figured they all made it sound more extravagant than the ordeal truly was. However, she supposed she would never truly know, and so she accepted their words with gratitude and humility and politely excused herself once she saw Gran-Gran enter the ballroom so she could greet her grandmother. She learned many things that afternoon, that she could not deny; tales of bravery and strength and forgiveness swirled around her head like fluttering birds that would not leave her in peace. She learned that Grand Master Pakku eventually became her tutor after a series of arguments and fights concerning her womanhood, she learned that Chief Arnook had a daughter named Yue who sacrificed herself to keep the Water Tribes living, she learned of the spirit that stole faces and the great escape from a Fire Nation prison in which Suki floored the men with her talents in fighting, but not once – not once – did she learn anything of her brother.

And so the hours passed and the luncheon was finished and the dancing was beginning and the court was teeming with blue and silver and flowing hair and laughing voices, and as the sun began sinking lower toward the clear horizon, there was a sound of someone clearing their throat. Katara and Suki, who had returned from practicing with the other Kyoshi Warriors only moments before, turned to see Aang, his ears scarlet, bowed deeply and holding out his hand.

"Katara," he began shyly. "I…ah… I was _wondering_ if, you know – it's been a while, but maybe you'd like to dance?" He looked up, gray eyes wide and innocent. Katara couldn't help but chuckle, placing her hands on her hips. Suki rolled her eyes.

"I can take a hint," she quipped. "It's about time I find Toph anyway. These celebrations go on for _hours_, you know, so it's only just begun. Anyway, the Kyoshi Warriors and I don't go on until dusk, so make sure you remember to come watch us out in the courtyard!" Suki waved as she began trotting away. "Try not to have too much fun without me!"

Katara rolled her eyes in amusement, placing her hands lightly in Aang's. He grasped it tenderly, his ears scarlet as he led her out further into the grand room, the music gentle and lovely. He slid his arm around her waist and Katara draped her arms around his neck, her eyes scanning the room.

"How many of these people know me?" she asked. Aang shrugged, looking around, replying, "Quite a few, but there are people here I haven't even met – there are always new families claiming nobility to have a place in Chief Arnook's court. He just so happens to be a nice guy, so he doesn't turn them away. Anyway, more people equals more festivities!"

"That's true, I suppose." She smirked up at him. "So, you really are the Avatar, huh? Last thing I remember, I was with Sokka in a canoe and the airbenders were gone and the Avatar never came back."

Aang laughed lightly, replying, "That was the day you found me, actually! It was by accident – your temper caused a giant wave that released me and Appa from when I had hidden us away from my troubles in the past. If it wasn't for Sokka making you angry, who knows how long I would have stayed down there, hiding from my fate."

Katara kicked up her feet lightly to the music, swaying around Aang as she giggled in response. "Somehow, I believe you."

Aang twisted her in a simple twirl. When she came back to face him, their noses were almost touching and she started, flushing and looking away as he blushed, clearing his throat. They continued swaying, but she kept her gaze from his and stared at the floor.

"There's actually…" he started, "ah… There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

She paused, losing her footing to the rhythm of the beat for a moment. "About what?"

"Well, you see… You know how I told you we traveled together?"

"Yes-"

"Well, _things_…happened. But, there was a war going on. It wasn't the right time." She looked up at him, noticing the stubble on his chin and neck in her closeness. Sometimes she forgot he was – what – seven-and-ten? By his own right, he was well-seasoned in the horrors life was prone to throwing in the faces of the unsuspecting, but there was a childish charm to him, a pure naivety, a young aura of innocence that she didn't mind. She did not mind it at all, in fact. It was a relief to be near him when the rest of the world felt tense.

She didn't respond, only trotted a little circle around him in time to the music and he smiled, pulling her back to him.

"There were feelings," he said finally, almost hesitantly. His eyes rose to meet hers then, unwavering and sincere. "Between us."

Katara paused, faltering mid-step. She tripped on her gown, stumbling forward and Aang caught her by her arms, pulling her back up and she looked around, hooking her hair behind her ears and stuttering,

"B…Between…you and _me_? Like…feelings –_ romantic_ – feelings?" Aang blushed, replying simply, "Yes."

"Oh."

She couldn't bear to look at him straight in the eye – they were so _hopeful_. He was just staring, like he was never going to blink again until she said something but she couldn't, she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was…out of nowhere, it was all out of nowhere, it was-

"You told me during the war there was no time for acknowledging our feelings and you were right. But now, it's over. Everyone is safe and _you're_ safe." He stepped forward, his grip tightening on her hands and she looked away, doing her best to avoid his earnest gaze. "I spent so long looking for you, Katara. And it finally happened, you came _back _and now we can finally… I know this is a lot to take in right now. After all, you don't remember me and everything is different. I just…" His shoulders slumped. "I just wanted you to know."

Katara looked around for Suki's white face, for her father's familiar wolfshelm, for the Chief's grand furs, for _anyone_, but all she could see were strangers and if she wasn't looking at them, she was looking at Aang's gray eyes so deeply watching hers, waiting for her answer. She pulled her hands from his, shaking her gently, biting her lower lip. Her eyes felt hot, her chest tight and Aang's eyebrows were drawing upwards in hurt but she was ignoring it, she was keeping herself from seeing it, she could not see it lest she wanted to cry from the guilt and she did not want to cry, not anymore! It wasn't fair and – gods, oh _gods_ – her chin began quivering and all she could stammer was a tearful, "_I'm sorry_," before she turned and fled from the one stranger who was brave enough to still love her.

* * *

Mai had returned after her petulant outburst during the luncheon, but he was fine without her. If anything, Zuko reflected, the day had passed quicker with less annoyances. Initially, part of him had felt guilty for his separation and distance regarding his fiancée but her constant sighing during their meal had reinforced every doubt he had about their imminent marriage.

_Damn the nobles._

He couldn't string them along for much longer, he knew that much. It had been almost three years since he had begrudgingly asked for Mai's hand. It was only a matter of time before they forced a celebration. Mai would become Fire Lady.

_Fire Lady._

He grunted, running his fingers through his hair as his litter swayed lightly. The last village was cheerful as ever to see him, as always, and it passed by without much difference than the other appearances, but towards the end he began to feel a thick throbbing in his head from the sheer screaming and cheering.

_I hope their throats are sore later._

He sighed, fighting he urge to roll his eyes at himself. It was nice to sit alone, as Iroh had accompanied Mai back to the capital when she stormed off moodily and Ty Lee wanted to spend the rest of the day before the night's festivities touring the villages and reacquainting herself with her old home. Just as he had predicted, it had begun to rain when his litter sought to return to the palace. The Fire Nation had been dry all summer and rain had become rarer in that past years, much to the displeasure of farmers. But now, it was rich and it was a warm rain, the droplets big and bulbous, splattering forcefully upon the stone ground but he didn't feel agitated when the hem of his robes became sopping wet. It made walking a bit harder as the thick fabric clung to his ankles, but he enjoyed the sound of the gutters flooding with water and the feeling of his hair sticking to his skin, if only for the memories it brought.

And now, Zuko had the plush pillows and silks of the carriage all to himself and he stretched out, basking in the silence as he made his way back to the palace. He rustled, his hand darting into his pocket in a mindless moment that unconsciously sought nostalgia, searching for the familiar choker. It was…strange, the feeling it gave him. He did not know if he was sad or angry or guilty – maybe all three but, even so, it also made him feel undeniably calm. In a way, it made him feel as though he were able to pretend as nothing had ever gone wrong. And what would he give, to make it so? What would he give up to bring her back, to find what happened to her brother? A part of him wondered if Aang knew and was keeping it all a secret, but a bigger part of him reminded himself to trust the Avatar that had long since become his close friend. Aang was a _monk_; lying wasn't possible. It wasn't poss-

_Agni._

Where _was _it?

His fingers had been brushing around inside his pocket aimlessly while this thoughts overpowered his mind, but…but it was _gone_, it was gone, it wasn't there! How had he not noticed? How had he not noticed the familiar weight? It wasn't possible, it couldn't be – it couldn't be happening!

_No…no!_

His breaths came quicker, his heart jumping into his throat as he scrambled around, throwing the pillows and throws off the bench, looking for anything blue, _anything_.

"Stop the carriage!" he shouted. He heard a muffled, "Your Grace?" before a guard's head poked through the window in confusion, his helm shining and wet in the rain. "We need to go back," Zuko panted.

"But Your Grace-"

"_Now."_

The guard was shifting uncomfortably, his eyes darting around but never meeting the Fire Lord's out of respect and he spoke humbly, "Please, Your Grace, the governor of Omashu has been waiting for your return for tonight's celebration. We should not force him to wait any longer, as General Iroh and Lady Mai are already preparing." Zuko was still incessantly rummaging around, throwing the silks around in his frenzy, ignoring his guard, who added, "Would you like us to send a search party back to the villages to search for whatever it is you lost?"

Zuko paused, glaring up at him. "It isn't that simple. I need it _now_."

"May I ask what the object is?"

"No, you cannot," the Fire Lord growled, pinching the bridge of his nose. His skin felt as though it had reached the point of boiling long ago and now his blood was a constant stream of pressure, pressing dangerously against his temples, his hair, his clothes, and it was threatening, it was _hot_, and he wanted to rip his robes from his body in frustration lest they burned to ashes first.

"Your Grace, we cannot turn back."

Zuko paused, glaring up at his guard. _Damn you and your so-called _loyalty_. _

"You will send a party?" the Fire Lord asked grudgingly. He didn't _want_ to leave the necklace, _her_ necklace in the hands of a petulant vanguard of sellswords, but – _don't be so uncouth; at the very least, they trained for many years just to wipe your ass – _he didn't seemingly have any choice. Well, at any rate, the lovely governor of Omashu should count his blessings. The Fire Lord was not pleasant at the best of times, let alone on _this_ day.

_Always this day._

He sighed sharply and reluctantly leaned back, fixing his disarrayed topknot and briskly swatting his hand at the guard, motioning him to move the litter. He wanted out. He wanted to break free; he _wanted_ to avoid the palace, but he couldn't, he could never do that, and so he sat motionless, rigid, his hands clenching into fists as he stared blankly ahead, a muscle in his jaw twitching every time he noticed the absence of her blue stone.

* * *

The anniversary celebration was still as rampant as ever down in the ballrooms and the gardens, but Mai had slipped quietly away when she spotted a messenger hawk soaring towards the royal quarters.

She wasn't a good person.

She had never been. Azula had made sure of that.

But, in the end…In the end, she always seemed to develop a conscience and do the right thing.

_And what a burden that is._

And good was _boring_, everything was boring; without Azula, nothing was interesting. That was, perhaps, the only thing she missed about her former friend.

_If I could have ever truly called you that._

But now…Now, she was no better than Azula. She was just as conniving, just as manipulative, just as bitter as the crazed princess.

_Maybe I'll take scissors to my hair, too, one day._

Lady Mai's hands were trembling. Her flat eyes flecked with a pallid gold narrowed. The parchment she held crinkled beneath her grasp as her eyes scanned the words sent from the North:

_Wondrous…recovery…celebrate in the North…join…Chief Hakoda…welcome the return…_

_You will understand…to be kept from you… necessary precautions…_

_Katara._

It wasn't possible… It wasn't…. It wasn't _possible_! It couldn't have been! She wanted to scream, she wanted to scream _so _badly; she wanted to grab her hair and sink to the floor and scream and rip apart the letter – it wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair. Agni, what had she done to be denied happiness? Had she not yet atoned for her sins committed at the orders of Azula? Had she not done everything she could to show her fiancé she _wanted_ to love him? But it…It didn't matter. None of it mattered now.

That…That waterbender. The one everyone _loved_, she…

She was _alive_. After all this time… But _how? _

Mai knew, with a sinking feeling in her chest that made it hard to breathe, that the Fire Lord would leave for the North the moment he read those words. The anniversary celebration was still as rampant as ever down in the ballrooms and the gardens, but Mai had slipped quietly away when she spotted a messenger hawk soaring towards the royal quarters. After all, she had been his friend. She had been his good friend and he…he still could not find solace with the fact she was dead and gone and the tides were still.

_You believed you let her die. What will you do once you realize you did not fail at all?_

Things would be different. He would be angry at the years of lies and deceit, but the pure notion of her existence would override any resentment he might now hold for those who kept her from him. And the marriage – it would be out of the question. He would surely put it off so he could rush to be by that girl's side and Mai would be left alone….alone, again.

_Isn't alone what you want?_

She wanted to be left alone; she didn't want to _feel_ alone. And even if her fiancé was hot-headed and broody, she admired him and she did not detest his company like she did with all the others. She didn't want to give that up; she shouldn't have to! All Katara did was die… And Mai, the noble daughter, the loyal fiancée, the future _Fire Lady_ – she had tried so hard the past years. She would not throw it away on a peasant that was lucky in escaping Azula's wrath.

Mai's eyes narrowed into slits and, before she think another conflicted thought, she tossed the letter into the fire in her chambers. She watched it, the firelight dancing in her eyes, curling, pulsing, licking gently yet hungrily and her face did not smile in triumph; it remained steadfast and rigid and stone-like, for she did not feel victorious. If anything, she still felt as though she had lost.

But now, as she watched the parchment curl into itself before falling to ash, she felt strangely cold and so she wrapped her arms around herself.

_Is this treason?_

_No…_

_It is… Love._

"I fear ash is harder to read than words."

She jumped, whipping around, her heart stopping in her chest.

"Lord Iroh," she gasped, color flushing her pallid cheeks. He was standing in the doorway, his hands folded together beneath the sleeves of his robes and his face was a stern mask of disapproval. She squirmed under his gaze, which was so unlike his usual cheery demeanor. He did not speak for a long time; perhaps, at another time, this would have relieved her but in this moment, it was agonizing.

_Say something, old man._

And then, finally:

"Do you realize what you have done?"

He sounded…angry. _Will you now show me why they call you the Dragon of the West?_

"I had to," she said simply, her face stoic, masking the pattering of her heart and the fear in her eyes. She was painfully aware of the constant crackling of the fire next to her, the ashes of Chief Hakoda's letter mocking her as they sifted lifelessly against the burning wood.

"But you already knew, didn't you?" she asked coolly. Her hands were hidden by her sleeves, her fingers brushing against a shuriken. _Just in case._

"Yes, I have known for quite some time," Iroh replied quietly, walking further into the room until he came to rest next to Mai, his eyes fixated on the fireplace.

"But _how_?"

A small smile played at the general's lips. "Spirits are fickle at the best of times," he said. "Even I have had difficulty interpreting their many meanings. I spent many long years among the spirits, but it still was quite the shock when they came to me one night and I saw her. I saw our Katara, so small and frail, as she was taken into the Spirit World to avoid death at the late Princess Yue's wishes. And so, I must admit, it is true, my lady, that I have known for five years the true fate of our beloved waterbender and that I have been anxiously waiting to see how long it would take her father to reveal this to our nation."

Mai was speechless, her usual stoic face alight with disbelief. No broody, sarcastic remark. No sigh of discontent or boredom. No rolling of the eyes. Nothing. She was still, frozen, her eyes wide with the shock, her lips parting in a small "o".

"Y-you…" she began finally. "If you _knew_, why keep it from Lord Z- the Fire Lord?" Her hands tightened into fists beneath her sleeves. "You saw how much it hurt him, how it…how it tore him apart. You _saw_ what it did to him."

"There was no guarantee she would awaken, my lady. Could I spark hope in my nephew's heart, only to have it extinguished again by the very water he missed so dearly? No, I could not bear it if he were to lose her again.

"I love my nephew, my Lady," Iroh continued, and there was a hint of sadness in his voice. "But he is a slave to his emotions. Lady Katara was a dear friend to him – she was a dear friend to us all; if he knew she was not truly dead, he would have left the Fire Nation to be with her. I did not know what he would find if he made the journey to the North, but I did not wish upon him the burden of finding out."

"That is no excuse to lie to him for years." Mai was leaning against the wall now, her arms crossed in disgust. She _hated_ that waterbender, that much was obvious, but she hated liars even more. They reminded her of Azula. _It seems the entire line of royal blood is tainted. _After all, her fiancé was a liar, too. He lied to her face when he asked for her hand and she could see no trace of conflict or guilt in his eyes.

"And yet, are you not doing the same?" Iroh asked. Mai straightened, her eyes narrowing angrily.

"Tch…" she spat. She brushed her bangs to the side, rolling her eyes as she snapped, "I burned the letter out of a wifely desire to marry – as a duty to my people. I burned it out of _love_."

"Then we are guilty of the same crime," Iroh said. Mai spluttered, shaking her head.

"It doesn't matter!" she shouted. She _hated_ shouting. She hated raising her voice above any monotonous decibel but _Agni_, he was pissing her off. He may be the Dragon of the West, but he was nothing more than a hypocritical, judgmental, old man who-

"There is," the general started softly, "another reason why I did not wish to tell my nephew of Lady Katara's fate."

Mai's face remained flat in anger as she watched Iroh, albeit her secret interest in his words. He clasped his hands behind him and sighed quietly.

"I have heard word among the spirits," he said. "Usually, I do not put all my trust in them, but…_This_ time they spoke of the Avatar's protection over the waterbender, how he spent long years looking for her in the Spirit World. He _succeeded_; Aang was never one to give up easily…a true Avatar, but, there was a dire cost to the comatose state that kept her from death, one even Yue could not prevent.

"She has no memories," Iroh said, looking down. "She remembers no one, not even Aang, her closest friend."

"No one?"

"She opened her eyes believing she was still a child, three-and-ten with her brother. Both of those things have come and gone; I believe this is the reason Chief Hakoda has waited until now to send word of her awakening. It all must be very frightening and confusing for her."

"You're telling me."

"If Zuko abandoned his duties as Fire Lord to reunite with Katara only to find she did not know who he was…I think the shock and the hurt would outweigh the guilt he has held for years. He would not be the same."

"So, I'm off the hook," Mai replied, sighing. "I'm feeling rather hungry at the moment. If you'll excuse me-"

"Do not be so quick to leave, my lady. Chief Hakoda has always held good judgment. If he believes now is the true time for my nephew to know everything, then I will not question his decision." Iroh looked at her sternly, his eyebrows knitted together. "You _will_ tell my nephew what you have done. You will tell him of Lady Katara's survival-"

"He will _leave_ me-"

"With your head, at the very least. Withholding documents from the Fire Lord, regardless of nobility, is treason, my Lady. I do not think Zuko would ever wish to harm you, but you must tell him everything."

"And if I don't?" Mai replied haughtily. "Surely you should tell him of your own _withholding _of information? I don't doubt there is a penalty of treason for that as well, Lord Iroh." She spit out his name like a poison, but the general made no sudden reaction, which disappointed her slightly.

"There is no other option," the Dragon of the West said stiffly, the firelight dancing in the wrinkles on his face. "Zuko will know. He will hear of your actions. He _will_ hear of mine, as well. I would be lying, Lady Mai, if I said I did not worry about how he will react to our words. There is a grand possibility…Yes, he might just come to hate us." Iroh held out his hand, leaning down as his fingertips brushed through the fire, unscathed and delicate as the flames licked at his skin. The old man looked sad, Mai reflected, and she could not help but notice the similarities between his and her fiancé's eyes.

"He needs a chance for honor," Iroh said, so quietly Mai almost could not hear him. "He needs…to redeem himself from the guilt – just as we do."

* * *

**Notes:** I didn't want to make Iroh seem like a bad guy at all, so hopefully you can understand why he kept secret what he did! Also, I didn't explicitly say this, but you can assume Hakoda and Aang and company were in cahoots with Iroh and they all agreed to keep it quiet from Zuko, since he was such a brand-new Fire Lord. So, poor Zuko, but it was for the best, so I hope all the reasons for secrecy make sense now!

Mai, on the other hand... Someone needs to watch that girl at all times. Tisk tisk.

Onward my friends! Another chapter awaits you :)


	7. Chapter 6: When Wolves Descend

Zutara reaaaally soon :D I do my best to not make empty promises, so believe me that it's worth the wait. It just took a little longer to get the plot going than I thought, so I'm really sorry about that :/ but I truly believ it's all information that can't _not_ be in it. If that makes sense. Thanks for sticking with me though :)

* * *

**Chapter 6: When Wolves Descend**

His meeting with the emissary from the Earth Kingdom had gone as dismally as he anticipated it to. He was at odds with the Earth King Kuei and – to his surprise – Aang as well. The Harmony Restoration Movement Aang had established with Kuei sought to rid the Earth Kingdom of all Fire Nation citizens in what were the Fire Nation colonies, especially Yu Dao. But Zuko found that preposterous – they were _his_ people after all and they weren't bothering anybody. They had made the colonies their homes, so why should they be forced from them? He didn't understand, he still didn't, but he had heatedly voiced his opinion to the Avatar and the Earth King, which eventually led to him withdrawing his support from the movement. Aang was angry about it, no doubt, but the monk always seemed to look for compromise in the worst of situations.

And yet it worried Zuko. How long could this movement continue on unsolved until one side became angry enough to act out? It seemed Zuko had no one on his side.

_Just like old times._ A blue dress entered his mind. _Would you have sided with me?_

At any rate, the emissary had arrived shortly before Zuko returned from visiting the villages and sought to speak on behalf of the Earth King in encouraging Zuko to "see reason" and "accept the pretenses of the Harmony Restoration Movement". Zuko wanted so badly to scoff at him, but he saw his uncle watching him sternly and so he kept his voice as level as physically possible. The meeting had taken not even a half hour and, to his surprise, not many voices were raised, but by the end, the emissary was visibly frustrated for Zuko refused to change his stance. His people would _not_ leave the colony. Yu Dao would remain his.

The emissary wasn't angry for too long, however, for the celebration of the Hundred Year War anniversary started and before long, over half the crowd was drunk, including even the most distinguished of nobles in his court. It was after his grand speech to rally the excitement that Zuko slipped away, eager for solace and solitude.

The night was warm. It was an empty warm, devoid of the usual humidity of the Fire Nation and that was how the Fire Lord liked his nights to be. He enjoyed the solemn breeze that occasionally rustled his hair, freeing the dark strands from his crown and letting them lick gently at his face, tickling his skin in a gentle dance. He liked the wind. It made him think of the open sea; it brought a strange sense of nostalgia to the years he spent looking for the Avatar to regain his honor and he looked back on those memories sometimes and they didn't…They didn't make him feel bitter. It was a bizarre feeling. Those years were the beginning to everything. He _couldn't _hate them.

The storm earlier had left the gardens and, it seemed, the entire visible world greener and friendlier – it was a vibrant, staying color that broke up the monotonous reds and golds of the palace; drops of rain still clung to each blade of grass, the leaves of trees were dripping quietly from the shower and it was beautiful, it all looked beautiful, for water was life and it came and it went, but it always had a way of returning and filtering itself into new soil.

The music was loud, the laughter even louder and the night was brilliantly lit with lanterns and torches and occasional fireworks but the noise didn't bother him as much as he thought it would.

Zuko tilted his head back slightly, letting his eyes close as he leaned against the railing of the balcony, sighing deeply. It felt good to breathe, just breathe. It was something he missed, as odd as it sounded. Out here, on this side of the gardens, there was nothing that could remind him of things that caused him pain. Out here…There were no turtle-ducks. There was no pond of water to mock him as it reflected only his angry eyes. There was no emissary from the Earth Kingdom rattling his brain with political intrigue and scandalous details and plots of treason. There was no Mai, no Uncle, no Ty Lee, no servants, no nobles, no-

"Your Grace."

It was a small voice, one he faintly recognized. He opened his eyes unwillingly, turning to see a young servant girl – _the one from the visitation to the villages? – _bowing deeply in the entryway to the balcony.

"Please, Your Grace, I do apologize, but…"

_Oh, yes. The one who spews apologies every other sentence._

"What is it?" Zuko asked gruffly, irritated at the disturbance.

"I received word of a search party sent back to the villages, for a dear object you have lost." She straightened up, fumbling around in her pocket. "I…found this on the floor of the room where you took your luncheon after you left." Blue silk and a blue stone dangled from her fingers.

The Fire Lord lurched forward, snatching it out of her grasp. Her cheeks flushed a deep scarlet when their skin grazed and she bowed again.

"Please, Your Grace, I searched for you incessantly to bring it back to you. I…I could not find you. Not for hours; not until I saw you take leave to come out here, so…I hope it's alright. The guards will be angry at having searched for something that had been in my possession the whole time, but…"

His heart was pounding, his grip tight around the necklace as he closed his eyes, feeling his boiling blood slowly simmer in relief.

"You have my thanks," he said quietly. "And my protection. The guards will understand."

The girl smiled widely, blushing as she bowed her head quickly. The Fire Lord quietly wondered what he would give to be able to speak with someone who was not constantly apologizing or bowing to him, afraid of offending his position. A flash of dark skin and tumbling chestnut hair crossed through his mind.

_You never treated me as nobility. No, if anything, you treated me as a lesser being until the very end… Am I perverse in enjoying the way you held my company, so different than everybody else?_

She made to step forward, but Zuko noticed the falter in her step and she remained where she was to his slight annoyance.

"What is it?" he inquired.

"If I may speak, my Lord… I was only – I was only wondering who that gemstone belonged to. Please, Your Grace, if it too forward you may send me away and I will accept my punishment. I do not wish to pry; I was merely curious."

Zuko regarded her oddly, his eyes unreadable and still. She had the golden eyes of the Fire Nation people – gold and amber and wide, with midnight hair that framed a pale, heart-shaped face. She was very pretty, that he could not deny, and perhaps were he a different man, were fate not so relentlessly troubling and his golden crown so heavy, he would have taken a fancy to her.

He turned away sharply, looking out over the gardens of the main courtyard.

"Someone very special," he muttered.

"Forgive me, Fire Lord."

Zuko held up the necklace, turning the stone in his hands so it caught the light of the sunset brilliantly. There was a strange look in his eyes: glassy and empty, but dark and unstable. He laughed once, a low, guttural sound.

"It is the work of a Water Tribesman," he said vacantly. "Beautiful, isn't it? She told me many times this belonged to her mother. Before I knew her, I had stolen it in order to track down someone very important. Funny…the way fate works." The servant made no response, but he was acutely aware of her shifting somewhat uncomfortably behind him. The Fire Lord's eyes slowly closed, his scar feeling suddenly heavy and he remembered, he painfully remembered, what it was like when she touched it for the first time. Her hands, they were…so soft. So soft and gentle, like her eyes which were so blue like water, like the stone in his hand, so serene, so…

His eyes snapped open and narrowed into slits.

_But she died. Did you know that? Yes, five years ago. She died in my arms and I didn't do anything to help her. I might as well have killed her myself; so you see, this is why I cannot lose this pendant. It keeps me from peace, from solace, because I deserve only suffering and hell._

_What grave gratitude I gave her._

He turned to see the girl bowing deeply, her hands fisted at her sides tightly. She stood upright suddenly and he could tears in her eyes before she whirled around and fled, running away down the hall. Her footsteps became fainter with each passing moment and once they too left him, he gently held up the necklace to see how the stone caught the remaining light of day and turned back towards the gardens. He remained that way for another hour, turning the stone over in his hand and admiring the colors that filtered into its etchings, when the sound of pattering slippers on the balcony turned his soft gaze into a scowl.

"Someone _better_ be dying, if I am to be bothered again," he snapped.

Iroh stood in the doorway, giggling quietly.

"Your temper never fails you, nephew," he said amiably. "You have changed so much, but I fear that is the one trait that will never leave you. That, and your stubbornness."

"Lucky me. They've done me so well in the past."

"I think so." Iroh was smiling and Zuko couldn't decide if it irritated him or not.

"So, what is it?" the Fire Lord asked. His uncle gestured to the necklace, asking, "May I?" to which Zuko nodded and placed it in his hand. Iroh held the stone up close to his face, sighing softly as he smiled.

"I remember this well. It is truly remarkable," he said, "how something as simple as a piece of jewelry can so closely resemble the essence of a person."

Zuko leaned against the railing, looking out over the gardens. There was a muscle twitching in his jaw, but he didn't feel _angry_. No, it wasn't anger, but he could not truthfully tell what it was and that alone was frustrating in itself.

"It is…just like her," Zuko said, his voice low and husky. He could feel Iroh's gaze burning holes into his robes, but he refused to look at his uncle – he _couldn't_.

"Is that why you will not let it go?"

Iroh returned the necklace and Zuko kept silent. He reached up, pulling out his crown and letting his hair fall and he ran his hand through the dark strands, sighing with the freedom and he let his head hang, his bangs hiding his eyes.

"I believe she wants you to move on," Iroh said softly. Zuko laughed once, replying,

"And which one are we talking about now?"

"Actually, I believe the both of them. Mai wants only to be with you, Zuko, and Kat-"

"Don't say her name," Zuko snapped suddenly and his fingertips left slight burn marks on the railing on the balcony.

"Forgive me, my nephew, I only wish to ease your suffering."

"Is that so?"

"Your guilt has eaten you alive."

Zuko whirled around to face his uncle, snarling, "Because I let her die!" He reached forward, snatching the necklace from his uncle's grasp and it swung in his hands violently from his outburst, but then he shrank back, looking down so as to keep himself from having to look his uncle directly in the eye. "She…saved me. When Azula hit me, she didn't waste a moment in saving me. She was my friend, yet in return, I let her die."

"Is this why you will not marry Lady Mai? Is this the reason for your constant postponing of the wedding?"

"There is no reason, Uncle, it's just not the right time yet-"

"Because you believe that something could happen to her, too, and you would not be able to protect her?"

"Love is a burden," Zuko blurted. "I want nothing to do with it. Mai should not want to marry me." His cheeks were burning and he tugged his fingers through his hair in annoyance.

"Excuse me, Uncle," the Fire Lord said vacantly, turning away from the balcony and heading towards the door. "I'm tired."

"Zuko, there is something you should-"

"Goodnight."

"Zuko, wait-"

But the Fire Lord was gone; his mind felt heavy, his chest even heavier. He couldn't bear to speak any longer.

_Not tonight, Uncle. I'm sorry._

* * *

It didn't take long for Suki to find her. She had fled the celebration after the Kyoshi Warriors performed their routine. It was just as exciting as Suki promised it would be – the girls were sharp, fast, and unbelievably strong. The way they moved so crisply was phenomenal and the stomps they made on the ground, one collective beating of the earth, made Katara's hairs stand on end. She was disappointed when it ended, but it was for the best, for the constant flow of people, the reminders of Aang, the sheer amount of noise and commotion was starting to get to her and so she slipped quietly away, aimlessly wandering until she came to a quiet bridge overlooking the city's canal. There was no one around, and that was her solace.

But then Suki found her. It wasn't as annoying as she thought it be – if anything were to have tracked her down, she was grateful it was her and not the feisty earthbender or Aang.

_Sea prunes, Aang… I'm sorry._

"You used to like parties."

Katara smiled, draping her arms over the railing of the bridge. Suki leaned over and gently bumped her shoulder into Katara's.

"Hey… are you alright?"

"Peachy," Katara sighed.

"You were always bad at lying."

"Did you… know me well?"

"I like to think so," Suki said, smiling faintly. "We were a family. We drove each other insane – that's how I know it was real."

Katara's hands clenched fists and she bowed her head, her brows drawing together in frustration.

"I wish I could remember," she whispered angrily. "I feel like I've failed _everyone_. I don't… I don't even remember Aang and I get the feeling he was there for me more than anyone."

Suki leaned backwards against the railing, crossing her arms in thought, saying, "He waited for you. I stayed here for a while after that last battle, hoping you would wake up. You never did and I couldn't stay, but he did."

"Thanks, I feel so much better."

"I'm sorry, I only meant – well – he cares for you. Like, _cares_ for you-"

"I already know," Katara said quietly. Suki's eyebrows shot up and Katara gave her the "Oh, _shut _up" eyes and the warrior giggled into her hand.

"What did you say?" she asked in a hushed whisper.

Katara shrugged, cheeks burning. "Nothing… I, ah, sort of ran away."

"You did not."

Katara bent over and let her forehead hit the railing noisily.

"Oh, sea prunes," her muffled voice grumbled. "It was horrible."

Suki shrugged, standing upright. "He understands. He's a monk, after all. I think understanding is in the job description. Either way, it'll be alright. He knows you need time. You only just came back. Listen, I better head back inside – the moon is almost at its peak and that's when you Water Tribe folk get the craziest."

"Hey, Suki."

"What is it?"

"Who is Zuzu?"

Suki looked back oddly, at a loss for words. She came to rest next to Katara slowly, her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Where did you hear that name?"

Katara lifted her head, absently moving her fingers to bend the water in the canals below, causing little ripples and streams to wind around one another. It was tiring, though, like always when she tried to bend and so she let the water drop back into the river and internally scowled at herself for being spent so quickly.

"I have dreams, I guess, sometimes," she said. _I killed him. I dreamt I killed him – so tell me, is it memory or is it Azula toying with me? _ "I heard the name in one of them, that's all. Why?"

"It's just a nickname that was used by someone we weren't particularly fond of."

Katara looked up at the moon and the stars, silently counting them in her head. She got to forty-seven before she realized she was counting the same stars over and over again and so she looked at Suki, biting her lip softly. "Can you tell me who Zuzu is?"

"Well, his name's not really Zuzu," Suki said softly, as though the name made her paranoid. "His real name's Zuko, but his sister called him that to piss him off and belittle him. She was always doing things like that."

Katara curled her fingers into her palms, watching the muscles pulsate beneath her skin with each movement.

"_Zuko_…" she murmured.

"Yeah," Suki said, lowering her voice as a solitary boat drifted lazily through the canals. She didn't speak until it was gone, making Katara's skin itch with anticipation, but finally: "He is Azula's brother."

_Yellow, lupine eyes… And there's lightning. The lightning is coming!_

"He used to be the banished prince of the Fire Nation," Suki muttered on. "He burned down my village and he chased you guys all across the world to find Aang before I joined you. Something about restoring his honor by bringing the Avatar back to his father."

Katara frowned. "Fire Lord Ozai?"

Suki nodded, continuing, "Zuko was interesting like that, always talking about honor and pouting in his corners of solitude. You hated him" – she smiled with the memory, chuckling lightly – "and by his own right, he hated you, too. The Avatar was elusive and you were always there, protecting Aang and showing Zuko a good fight, testing his strengths and weaknesses. You made him question everything about himself and why honor was so important in the first place."

"It's hard to imagine myself strong like that."

"You will be again; you still _are_," Suki said. "You just need time to understand what you went through. You're still the same stubborn, hot-headed waterbender that looked after us all. You cared. Some people would say you cared too much and that it was your weakness, but I believe it's what made you unstoppable."

Katara flushed, smiling as she muttered, "Thanks, Suki."

"Anytime."

"So…what exactly happened to Zuko and me?"

"You became friends in the end," Suki said softly. "Spirits, did you make him _try,_ though. It was fun to watch. Some days I wondered if he was about to give up, since you were never lenient. I think it was good for him, though. You showed him who he could be, who he was _supposed_ to be. His father ruined him, but, in a way, I think you brought him back and saved him."

"I sound impressive when you put it like that."

"You are." Suki sighed, letting her head drop gently against Katara's shoulder, winding her arms around the waterbender's. "I'm so glad you're back, Katara."

"Maybe Sokka will be soon, too."

Suki smiled sadly. "I believe he will come back. It was hard for him to see you in the Spirit Oasis-"

Katara's head shot up, her eyes narrowing in revelation as she spluttered, "He was _there_ when they brought me back?"

Suki blinked. "Yes, I thought you knew. He stayed with us, looking after you for about six months…but-"

Katara grabbed the warrior roughly, her fingers trembling with their hold around her arms as she pulled her close.

"So, he is alive!" exclaimed Katara. "What happened to him, Suki? No one will say a word about him. You have to tell me where he is!"

Suki's widened eyes blinked slowly and she shook her head so softly, Katara wasn't sure if she had seen it happen or not. It was almost as though the warrior could not keep her gaze locked onto Katara's for too long, for her eyes were focusing on the ground as her brows drew together in what looked like sadness.

"The truth is..." Suki murmured. "I don't know." Katara let her go, stepping back as the girl's shoulder slumped. "One day, he just disappeared. He loved you more than anything in the world, but something about seeing you lying so still in the Spirit Oasis sent him over the edge. He wasn't the same after what happened. I don't know where he is. I really wish I could tell you. I don't think even Aang knows." Suki shook her head bitterly. "Yue, he's so stupid! If we knew where he was, we could tell him you are alright! He could know you're safe. He… He left all of us."

Suki looked away, but not before Katara could see wavering tears in her eyes as her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. "He didn't even say goodbye."

Katara straightened up, an eyebrow darting upwards as she asked, "Were…" _– oh gods, do I really want to ask – _"Were you and…my brother…?"

Suki blushed deeply then, ruffling her hair as she giggled softly, replying, "Ah…Heh, yeah… Yeah, we were. I, ah, didn't really know how to bring it up before."

Katara's nose scrunched up, her face twisting into one of mock disgust. "Oh, sea prunes, _why_?"

"He was interesting," Suki laughed. "At first I couldn't believe how sexist and arrogant he was, but…The more I saw him, the more I realized he was trying to fill his father's shoes. He wanted to be a warrior, unstoppable and strong. Someone who could protect you. He ate way too much and his jokes were ridiculous, but that was what I loved about him." Suki looked down at the water in the canals, smiling faintly. "I wish he would come back."

Katara watched the girl in front of her, so strong and steadfast, and she came to rest beside her, winding her arm through hers.

"Me too."

And then she smiled; it was a soft, broken smile, but it was there nonetheless, though her heart was clouded and her mind was teeming with woeful thoughts.

* * *

She had been waiting for near an hour. Her legs were starting to cramp up, but she stayed where she lay, moving the silken fabric of the Fire Lord's robes off of her thighs to better show her fine skin. He could not reject her, no, especially not in this form. His doors had been unlocked – something that never occurred – so she found herself nonchalantly slipping into her fiancé's chambers as the night sky broke through the clouds, thousands of brilliantly shimmering stars dotting the infinite blackness. Initially, a part of her had the perverse desire to sift through his belongings, perhaps in an effort to look at that waterbender's necklace and hold it in her hands, but she remembered that the Fire Lord took the damned thing with him wherever he went and so she decided instead to wait for him in the most surprising of manners.

And so she undressed – slowly, deliberately, letting her skin shudder in the sheer excitement of disrobing herself in his chambers, her bare skin sliding across his silken sheets as she wrapped his nightrobe around her body. She brought it to her face, inhaling deeply his spiced scent and it sent her heart racing, her blood boiling and she closed her eyes, picturing his body as naked as her own, so close to hers, his skin hot with fire – and she fidgeted, feeling a tingle erupt between her legs.

But that had been at first.

Now, the hour approached and she was tired and stiff and agitated. He should have _been_ there – she knew he did not know of her secret presence in his bed, but…still. _Still. _She did not deliberately _try_ for anyone. She never had. She waited until they came to her; Agni, she had never made such an effort for someone before. And why should she? She once held him in her grasp…So close and his lips, they were so warm, and yet…

No.

Not anymore would she be alone – he would come to her tonight and then he would know, he would finally know. Marrying her could never be a mistake.

_And one day, he will watch the rain and wonder why it seemed so familiar. But it will pass, just as your time has, and you will be no more than a faint memory:_

_Kata-_

The handle turned.

Mai straightened instantly, her heart leaping into her throat and her muscles tightening beneath the Fire Lord's robes. She fumbled with the silks for a moment, draping them perfectly off her legs before leaning back onto the plush cushions, willing her heart to slow.

The door opened slowly, revealing a dark face shadowed in deep thought, but she could see the familiar red hue of wrinkled skin partially hidden by his unkempt hair. It sent chills to her toes, electrifying her blood at the realization their bodies could be closer than they had in years. And she liked his hair when he let it fall loosely – the crown was noble, yes, but when his hair was shaggy and free, it reminded her of his six-and-ten self and she suddenly felt so young again.

She bared her shoulders back, her eyebrows narrowing in a silent attempt at seduction, but she wondered if she just looked ridiculous. But she had to take a chance, she _had _to; there… There were no other options.

The Fire Lord stopped in shock, his fingers lingering on the door handle as he stayed in the doorway, frozen with widening eyes.

"_Mai_…?" he whispered, looking back towards the hallway to make sure no one else could see her in this fashion.

_And would you be jealous if someone did?_

"What are you doing?" His voice was a low growl and she could sense his agitation rising as he strode quickly further into the room, closing the door behind him. Mai stretched out a leg slowly, letting her eyes rise to meet his. She cocked her head, inspecting her nails as she sighed elaborately.

"I was bored," she said monotonously.

The Fire Lord blinked.

"Is that…my _nightrobe_?" he asked. Mai looked at him sideways, letting her hand fall to her bare thigh.

"Is it?" she countered. "…Oops."

Her fiancé angrily pinched the bridge of his nose and Mai smirked slightly, biting her lower lip softly. She leaned forward, sliding delicately off the bed, the silken robes pooling around her feet as she stood.

"How did you even get in here?" His voice was heated; his frustration rising.

_Good. _

_At least I can make you feel something._

"The door was unlocked," she said simply. "But will this not soon be my room as well?"

"The Fire Lady has her own chambers-"

"And they are lovely. A little too much color, but the room service is…_incomparable_." She took a step closer. "Surely, the great Fire Lord can learn to share."

"Mai."

Another step closer.

"Are you afraid of me?" she asked flatly, but her eyes were glinting with mischief. The Fire Lord looked confused and she could hear a mumbled, "No," before she stepped forward again until they were a mere foot apart.

_So close. At what point will you back away, I wonder?_

_I can…feel your heat from here._

"Then just _marry_ me already."

Her voice was as stoic as her face, as pallid as her skin, but her heart was secretly pattering quickly beneath the robes and there was a wild moment where she wondered if he could tell.

"This is not something to discuss right now-"

"I disagree-"

"Mai-"

"What are you so afraid of?"

"What is the _matter_ with you?" the Fire Lord suddenly shouted, his hand balling into fists at his side. "I asked for your hand, what more do you want from me?"

"I want you to stand by your word," Mai snapped and the robe slipped off of her shoulder. She could see his eyes dart down to her revealed skin for a moment before he looked back up at her, glaring angrily.

"Your behavior is ridiculous," he spat. "This is not how a Fire Lady-"

"How a Fire Lady should act?" Mai finished for him. Something within her hurt, making her angry – _is he _rejecting _me? – _and she struggled to keep composure, but after everything, after all she had done for him, it was difficult. She had done so much for him! She had done her waiting. She had come to take what was _rightfully_ hers, so how could he deny that of her when he denied her of everything else? "And when, one day, we at last share our bed, will you have me wear that waterbender's necklace to indulge in your perverse fantasies?"

He pulled back sharply. For a brief moment, she wondered if he were about to cry, for even his damaged, scarred eye widened in the shock. She knew…She knew it was horrible, what she had said, but he – he wouldn't respond to anything else! She needed to see his emotion, to _feel_ it, she needed-

"Get out."

She looked up at him, her gaze drilling into his eyes, which were so golden and angry and they began narrowing. His heat had increased, she could almost feel the boiling of his blood, the raging fire that swam through his veins and he lowered his voice, venomous and dangerous as he repeated so quietly she almost couldn't hear, "_Get out_."

And so, in her rejection and hurt, she reached up suddenly to slap him.

He caught her arm before her skin touched his and he held her at bay, his face dark and she glared up at him, forcing her tears back. They remained that way for a matter of seconds, but he would not loosen his grip on her arm and so she lunged forward in one last futile attempt, crushing her lips against his and as her eyes closed, she could feel the wetness of tears on her lashes.

But then he pushed her back, this time gentle. She knew her eyes were reddening; it was…all she could do to stay expressionless. Her lips quivered slightly, giving her away, and her heart, it hurt. Was it possible for it to hurt like that?

"I have done everything," said Mai, her voice cracking. "I have waited for you, given you your space. I have been loyal and strong and everything a wife is meant to be. Why must you keep me away?"

And then he looked away, his shaggy hair hiding his eyes and she yearned to see what was in them – _you always spoke more with your eyes than with your lips_ – and he was rigid, but his hands began to loosen from their tight fists as his fingers relaxed, almost in resignation.

"I just…" he began, and there was a sudden rapping upon the door. They turned as Admiral Jun of the Fire Nation Guard opened the door, bowing his head as he spoke urgently,

"Fire Lord, please, forgive my intrusion. There is an emergency regarding-"

The admiral stopped abruptly, blinking in surprise and confusion at the Fire Lord standing so close to a bared-shoulder Mai wearing his robes. She almost smirked at the blank look on his face, but she remembered her professional duty and instead nodded to him in greeting.

"I…ah…" he began, clearing his throat. The Fire Lord looked at Mai and then back to the admiral, stepping backwards sharply as he realized the strange image they portrayed and swiftly strode over to the panicked man, inquiring, "What is it?" to distract him from Mai's absurd near-nudity.

"It is the Earth Kingdom, my lord. There are…rebels. They have advanced upon your fleet stationed near Yu Dao."

"Why?" The Fire Lord spluttered.

"The Fire Nation citizens in the colony don't want to leave-"

"As well they shouldn't. It's been their home for generations."

"Yes, my lord, but it is known the Earth King Kuei is angry with your opposition to the restoration movement. He wants to reclaim the colony as Earth Kingdom territory."

"Well, that is treason," Zuko replied heatedly. Mai watched silently, crossing her arms in a hidden interest.

"Treason or not, _someone_ is resorting to violence-"

"We do not yet know if Kuei sent the pirates to my ships. They could just be earth kingdom citizens angry with the Fire Nation for refusing to vacate our people on their orders. Has the Avatar been informed?"

"I do not know yet, we are waiting the arrival of a hawk. The Avatar was not supportive of your opposition to the Harmony Restoration Movement, however, so…"

"You don't think I know that?" Zuko growled, pinching the bridge of his nose, which sparked a small smirk out of Mai. "He was against my choice from the start. But those in the colony are _my_ citizens – they shouldn't have to leave! They finally found peace in their homes after the war. And now, pirates and damned rebels seeking to overtake my ships in a plight to put fear into _my_ people? It seems my father is still mocking me from whatever parts of hell he has succumbed to. And yet…This does not matter, no, not right now. If Kuei is forcibly ejecting my people out of our colony, I cannot ignore this." The Fire Lord straightened up, regal and strong, turning to his captain. "Ready a small fleet. I would like to meet these _rebels_ and see exactly who put them up to the task of stealing from me. If it indeed was the Earth King, the Avatar may side with him and if he does, so be it, yet I still have hope Aang's sense of justice will ring true in the end."

"Right away, my lord. Will you stay here?"

"I intend to seek truth with my own eyes. Explain the situation to my uncle. He must hold the palace in my place until I return. Blasted Earth Kingdom boulder-heads and their stubbornness."

"Kind of reminds you of a stubborn someone, doesn't it?" Mai spoke, her dreary voice cutting through the air and he started as though he had forgotten she was there. She saw him tense up, wondering if he was picturing a brown-haired girl in a blue dress in his mind at that moment. He sent the captain away before turning to Mai.

"I need you to oversee things here while I am gone," he said tightly, ignoring her previous words.

"Your uncle-"

"My uncle is not going to be Fire Lady."

"Thank Agni, too, for he would look horrid in a dress-"

"Mai, this is serious," Zuko growled, gripping her upper arms. "The war has ended and yet we are still fighting like dogs. Will humans ever learn? My people cannot lose their homes and so I must fight for them. I need you to keep the palace strong in my absence – if we lose our political standing, we have lost everything. My uncle will assist you, but you must do this. For me and for your role as the future Fire Lady. Do I have your word?"

Mai stared at him, her eyebrows knit together as her eyes flickered in between his. After a while, she released the tension in her body and he let go of her arms. "Very well. For you, I will make sure the Fire Nation cannot even tell you are gone." Her voice was hoarse and quiet and she wondered if he actually heard her words, but he must have for he nodded and offered her an almost-smile before turning and leaving swiftly, the click of the closing door uncomfortably loud.

_Words are so fleeting, Fire Lord._

_You should have asked for my heart instead._

* * *

_The eyes…_

_They weren't golden, no…Not like his. They were yellow, so yellow and sickly, but they glinted with madness and it was impossible to look away. They must have…been beautiful at some time, but that time had passed and now they looked so devastating and crippled with malice and…_

_She laughed, the sound of scraping glass and Katara wanted to cover her ears, she wanted to shut it out! It permeated the infallible walls of her mind, it shook the very core of her grievously tired existence but still she kept laughing and Katara closed her eyes tightly._

Shut it out, shut it out… Just wake up….

_For it was a dream, wasn't it? It was a terrifying play upon her mind when it was the weakest and the most vulnerable, for in sleep she could not control what she saw and it haunted her. Were they memories, visions, hallucinations, or just dreams? She didn't know, still didn't know, but her mind had become tyrannous and it had become rabid against her own self and so Azula was always there, always laughing, always looking at her with those yellow eyes._

_"__So he is alive," Azula sneered, looking at her nails, her chopped bangs hanging in her face, wiry black strands sticking out in different directions. Katara's gaze narrowed angrily, but she said nothing._

_"__I could help you, you know. I might just know where to find him." Azula smirked, showing her fine teeth, but the way her lips curled make Katara feel ill. _

_"__You're lying," Katara whispered. "You always lie."_

Don't listen to her! This isn't real.

It isn't…

_"__Did my idiot of a brother tell you that? You're starting to annoy me with that phrase."_

_Katara's jaw clenched. "Tell me where he is."_

_Azula's fingertips began crackling as her face with lit with blue._

_"__You killed _my _brother, maybe I should just kill yours."_

_"__No!" Katara screamed, running forward and grasping the girl by the shoulders, shaking her roughly. "Leave him alone! Just tell me where he is."_

_"__How _dare_ you lay your tainted, peasant fingers on me?" Azula shrieked, lividly convulsing as she shoved Katara backwards, letting sparks of lightning encircle her hand. "I'm quite skilled with lightning, you see. It must travel through a certain circuit down your body, never stopping – you need to find the perfect balance between serenity and ferocity. I've mastered it quite well, for I can let it travel through my fingers on this same circuit without having to immediately release it. Imagine, then, how much energy I can force into your body with just the twitch of my finger." The girl began growing taller, then, her shadow increasing in size as her looming face became as big as a god's and Katara felt so small, so insignificant and she stumbled backwards, tripping on her dress and hitting the ground hard. Her breath was shallow, but she reached out for water in defense, but something was wrong! Her bending…It was… It was gone, but how could Azula do this? She couldn't do this… No, there was something very wrong._

_And then Azula's face seemed to cover the entire world so that no matter where Katara looked, she could still see those yellow eyes._

_"__I am the true Fire Lord!" the crazed girl screamed, blue fire erupting around Katara. "The throne is _mine_. If you want your brother back so badly, come and take him from me, but don't be surprised when I am the only one left standing in victory. I will kill you again, but this time I shall make your brother watch." And then she began laughing as the fire rose higher in its barrier around Katara and the heat was burning her skin and singing her hair and she screamed, "Wake up, wake up, just wakr up…"_

Wake up!

She bolted upright, gasping with a shuddering cry. Her blankets were damp from sweat and were strewn out all over the bed and floor from her fit. She froze, convulsing with tremors that racked her body and she touched her face with her hands, her eyes wide and terrified, her hair strewn messily over her shoulders. And then she cried heaving sobs and she picked up her pillow and threw it across the room where it hit the wall, knocking over a bowl as it tumbled to the floor.

But then she froze.

Azula… the…_Fire Lord_?

_But doesn't Azula always lie?_

Maybe… And yet, what if it were a ploy? What if she purposefully told the truth under the assumption Katara would brand it false and never seek out her brother? It could be that way, yes, but it could also be flipped around in that she would go through the trouble of trying to think the same way the crazed princess did when, in reality, she was merely lying out of sport the whole time.

Oh, it was so confusing and it made her head hurt, but as Katara crouched on her bed, watching her fingers as they clenched and unclenched into fists, she reflected on her weakness and her uselessness since she came back to the physical world. She couldn't…she couldn't live this way anymore; the once great waterbender and healer was nothing more than a fraud, for she could barely make a ripple in a pond with a wave of exhaustion sweeping over her limbs.

Her mind was weary, her body tense, but she looked up with narrowing eyes, angry and fierce as her thoughts cleared until one final desire of resolve burned heatedly within her.

She slipped deftly out of bed, pulling on a robe and padding down the hallway, her hair loose and tangled from her night terrors. She crossed the distance of the long hallway in a matter of seconds, for she was near running until she came to a door at the end. Hurriedly and quietly, she rapped her knuckles against the wood, fidgeting with impatience until a sleepy-eyed Suki with tousled brown locks opened the door, rubbing her eyes. She blinked a few times, looking as though she were confused about who it was stood in front of her.

"Katara?" she whispered after a moment.

"I need your help," Katara replied quickly, ushering herself inside. Suki stepped aside in surprise and Katara closed the door behind them. Spinning around, she lowered her voice, tilting her head toward the warrior's. "You must train me."

Katara reflected she must have looked crazy in that moment for her eyes were wild and puffy and her hair a mess but she stared at Suki with an unwavering, frenzied gaze.

"I…Wait… What time is it right now?" Suki asked, looking around. Katara lurched forward, grasping the girl by her shoulders and turning her back to face her.

"Please, Suki, this is important." The Kyoshi Warrior's eyes were wide with confusion and shock and Katara realized in that moment that it was the first time she had seen the girl without her facepaint.

_You are…really pretty._

"Why do you need me to train you?" Suki asked, lifting an eyebrow. "I am not waterbender. Master Pakku would-"

"Wouldn't understand," Katara cut in. She looked down, letting her hands drop from Suki's shoulders. Her posture slumped a bit as her brows drew together in her troubled thoughts. "I am weak, Suki. I wasn't before. You are a strong warrior with a beautiful form. Even if you cannot teach me bending, you can teach me strength, for the two must overlap. I…desperately need this."

Suki released a sigh after a moment. "Alright, but I will just talk to Aang-"

Katara's eyes shot up. "No!" she exclaimed, struggling to keep her composure. "I mean… Please, don't. I'd like to keep it a secret, for my own reasons."

"You're not making sense, Katara."

"I know, I know. But can you trust me?"

Suki folded her arms, smirking as she settled into her hip. "Yeah, yeah, of course I do. I'm flattered you came to me instead of Toph – can you imagine how she'd train you if she found out?" Suki mock-shuddered. "You're in good hands. I won't tell. But you better be a good pupil, alright?"

Katara hugged Suki tightly then, provoking a small gasp from the warrior. She repeated her thanks quite a few times, amiable and relieved as she was, until she backed out the door to let Suki return to her slumber.

Katara didn't return to her own chambers, then, but rather explored the palace and the grounds. She found many balconies that overlooked the channels and many doors that were locked that reached out to her curious side, begging for answers to be found but she did her best to not cause mischief and instead left the doors unmolested. She eventually found herself back on the bridge over the waterway where she spoke with Suki earlier. The moon was near full and it was a luminescent sphere of innocent whiteness and naivety, drowning the world in a blanket of gentle virtue and she thought she could hear a woman's delicate whispering, carried through the night on the wind.

It would all change now, she knew. Her strength would return and she would fight; she would fight until death, for she did once before and she survived.

_Very well, Fire Lord. I will come to you._

Katara's eyes narrowed as she stared into the horizon, dotted with stars.

_I will come to you with a strength you cannot beat – for I will take back what is mine. With ice and blood and undying spirit, I will regain my memories, I will remember all you have stolen from me, and when your mind has been stripped of every thought you have ever had, my brother and I will descend upon you like wolves and come that moment, you will know true fear._

* * *

Huehue

Mai's getting a little antsy.

Poor girl, though. seriously.

ZUTARAZUTARAZUTARA it's so soooon. By the way, I die a little inside every time I write a scene with Zuko and Katara. too many feels and the fact their both so angsty just slghslkgvsmvkl;wahgha;hfwihwih I love it. I love getting to write it, especially! So I hope reading it is the same :)


	8. Chapter 7: The Turning of the Tides

**_****THIS IS AN EDITED CHAPTER****_**

Please note, you guys... Chapter 7 had been edited.

I received many PMs about Katara being too OOC. If there is something I can work on in my story, please let me know - but do so in a constructive way. Writers are emotional, personal, and sensitive. Like I said, I take to heart what you review, but if it just an attack towards me, it really brings me down and makes me re-think writing this at all.

This is a fanfiction. I am not a writer of ATLA. This story is different than the original, it is different than the comics. This is my work (using ATLA characters) and I just thought I would share it with you all. That's it - so please avoid attacking comments. Be _constructive. _

However, I do agree with Katara's actions in this chapter, so that is why this has been edited.

Please note I will not go back and edit every little thing everyone doesn't agree on liking - but this was a big exception; I did not develop Katara the right way and I apologize. Feel free to re-read this Chapter and let me know what you think.

_**Secondly, **and this is important:** the **wolfhelm **__Katara wears IS in fact her father's - I know the show depicts it as a halfhelm in which you can see Hakoda's face, however, for the purposes of THIS story please imagine it to be a full helm in which her head literally looks like a wolf's head and you can only see her eyes. It adds to the suspense, of course, and I love me a badass assassin with no identity._

__Also, I **based events of this story on the true aftermath of the show. While the ATLA visual novels produce the Restoration Movement only a year or so after Ozai's fall, mine is still five years because of my plot. I just wanted to let you know that rebels in Yu Dao and conflict between Zuko and Keui was a real thing, written by the ATLA writers.**__

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Turning of the Tides**

The new morning was still, save for the gentle lapping of Northwestern water against the canoe. The sky was not yet lit by the sun and the waves made a serene sound, subdued yet filled with promise that in a moment of anger, the sea could swallow any man whole, leaving no trace of the life left behind. One could be easily deceived – for the waves hid their temper well while the earth slept, but come light, the monsters would have their turn at havoc.

Katara crouched, kneading her knuckles in the cold air – though it was considerably warmer here, near a hundred miles off the Western coast of the Earth Kingdom (or so her map told her) – and she breathed into her palms to avoid the stiffness that began to creep into her muscles. She was aching from the hours spent tensely watching the ship that rocked gently in the distance, a mere five miles from her own boat. She had been following them for near three days, precariously watching the movements and speed of the vessel as it began sailing to the southwest. This ship was exactly how she had remembered them to be – monstrous, metal, and spewing soot in every conceivable direction. To so quickly go from the natural wonders of the Spirit World to watching this hunk of iron and steel sending black oil in the waters made her sick and angry, but a part of her blessed the ship for its oil, for following the spills they left behind in the water was how she so quickly tracked the ship down. She watched the scarlet and gold flag embroidered with the Fire Nation insignia ripple gently in the breeze and her eyes narrowed as the flame appeared to be alive and burning with each movement.

She smirked to herself, letting her gaze drift upward to the almost full moon, showering the world in blue light.

_Not long now._

_Wait for me, Sokka._

Two moons had passed since she began her rigorous training with Suki. It was trying on them both, for they only dared to practice late at night or very early in the morning to avoid suspicion – however that proved to be less daunting of a task than either of them had anticipated, for quite soon after their first session, Aang was called upon by some king in the Earth Kingdom and Toph went to accompany him. However, there was still Pakku and her father and Gran-Gran (who seemed to know everything at all times) to be wary of and eventually the exhaustion was enough to drive her back into a coma – a thought she amusingly had once in a while, though it was rather dark humor – but then she would picture her brother in her mind's eyes, warrior's tail swinging as he laughed, and she would pick herself up from off the ground and resume her defensive stance. It was unbearably difficult to face her newfound weakness and accept it and if she could, she would have, but she couldn't – they were the signifiers that she had survived all those years, however, and so, with time, she learned to at least acknowledge she was weak for a valid reason. Her determination was unmatched, for every stream of water that wound around her body, every wave that caught Suki offguard reminded her of Azula's – of the Fire Lord's – yellow eyes and she felt progress, she felt the beginning of _strength_.

The weeks passed – her weary limbs became more resilient as her muscle built beneath her skin; the bags under her eyes disappeared, her sunken-in cheeks filling in until she looked _healthy _– of which Gran-Gran noticed delightedly and Katara told her it was due to her appreciation for the Northern food and her love of walking around the city and admiring the icy pillars beneath the sun. As the days continued, she was able to fend off Suki for longer and eventually found herself on the strong offensive, which sparked a wave of pride in the progress within her. It was exhilarating , this secret goal she harbored within her, flowing outward into her veins until it consumed her like dead leaves in a fire and she became addicted to training; often Suki remarked her pleasure in how quickly Katara recovered, claiming she would be near to where her skills used to be. Katara was pleased, but it wasn't enough, she needed more, to do more and _be_ more. She would not lose again.

And so she began training on her own until all of her waking thoughts were consumed by images of water and strategy and defensive poses. She discovered new abilities on her own, some of which frightened her, but the apprehension was good – it meant Azula would feel that same fear.

In the two months she trained, her nine-and-tenth birthday came and went. She pleaded with her father and Gran-Gran to not make a celebration out of it and, after much heated deliberation, they reluctantly agreed, and so Katara spent a nice, quiet feast with her family and Suki (who had become her closest, most treasured friend). Aang and Toph had already left for the Earth Kingdom.

However, on the morning of her birthday, a package rested in solitude next to her bed, neatly tied. She had smiled, assuming it was from her father, but upon seeing the tuft of bison hair attached to the ribbon, she became hesitant to open it, a sense of dread rising up within her that she could not shake off.

A part of her wished she never did open it, for there in front of her, staring at her with expectation and filled with empty promise rested a beautifully-carved necklace attached to blue silk. Initially, Katara assumed Aang did not realize what such a gift meant to her people, but another terrifying thought reached her: what if he _did_?

The guilt gnawed at her relentlessly, but she left it, still resting upon the wrappers Aang had so carefully wrapped on her night table, untouched and unworn.

Even if she had felt differently about the Avatar, love was not possible for her. Not now.

Now, she was strong, stronger than she had thought she'd ever be.

But it was not the time for sullen thoughts and pangs of guilt and regret. No, memories were a poison and she could not allow to herself to drink it.

The Fire Nation ship steadily came closer through the hours until it was a mere three miles from her. She pulled the wolfhelm over her head – which she had guiltily stolen from her father's chambers as she snuck out of the palace – and lowered herself out of the canoe, slipping soundlessly into the lapping waters.

* * *

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. He exhaled sharply.  
"How many times do I have to tell you?" he snapped. "Forward all missives and letters to my Uncle and the Lady Mai. We still have over a week until we return to the capital. I don't have the time – nor the resources – to give proper responses to our beloved _nobles_."

Admiral Jun almost sighed, but one sharp glance from the Fire Lord and he bowed deeply, muttering, "Yes, Your Grace."

"As for what the nobles shall be told… Tell my uncle my stance on the Movement remains the same. My people will stay in the colony. Tell them no more than this – I do not want rumors to swarm the palace like flies. Enough lice resides within our curtains as it is." The Fire Lord thought he could see a slight smirk from his admiral, but the man kept his composure and merely bowed again, saying, "At once," before turning sharply on his heel and leaving for the firehawks.

_Damn the nobles._

They had been incessant. Was Aang an enemy of the Fire Nation once more? Would there be war in Yu Dao if Zuko refused to force his people to leave the colony? What would Kuei do? What would _Aang_ do? How would Zuko respond? He couldn't take it anymore – he could not – and it was all he could do to not burn down his chambers in his frustration. Well, as politics would have it, Earth King Kuei had called upon Zuko once he learned of his presence in the Earth Kingdom and the meeting fared as horribly as the Fire Lord had assumed it would be. The Earth King demanded to know why the Fire Lord was visiting the colonies and Zuko wanted to scoff, for were they not _his_ colonies? He could see them as he wished. But it was true, what Aang had warned him – hostility was becoming higher, tensions were rising, and it wouldn't be long before violence ran rampant through the streets. Still, he could not bring himself to bow to Kuei's wishes. The "pirate" threatening Yu Dao Admiral Jun had warned him about was some citizen named Smellerbee. It was an awful name, but at least Kuei had the decency to tell him. It didn't change anything, however – thus, the Fire Lord refused cooperation with the Earth King and sailed for home.

He handled it diplomatically enough, he thought. He was proud of himself, actually, for patience had never come easily to him. He didn't want war with Kuei, he didn't want that at all, so there _must_ be something else they could do to reach an agreement. The answer, if there was one, eluded him and so he commanded Admiral Jun to have his men steer them towards home.

_Will you be proud, Uncle? What would you have done?_

"Your Grace."

Zuko looked over, grunting as his admiral sprinted towards him, worried.

"What?" Zuko replied. "You couldn't have sent those letters yet."

"There was a distress signal," Admiral Jun panted. _Agni, you must be joking. _Zuko's eyes narrowed as he snapped, "From where?"

"Our sister ship on the outskirts of the Western Air Temple."

"_Who_ attacked it?"

"I…do not know, sir, we have yet to receive a messenger hawk-"

"What are you waiting for, you bumbling _oaf_? Tell the captain to steer us towards the ship; quit wasting time." Zuko spun on his heel and walked briskly towards his cabins, struggling to keep composure but his veins were boiling and it felt so _good_, yes he hadn't felt rage like this in a long time. War was a sin, but it brought men to life in ways it never should.

But was this what it was? _War?_

No…He, no, could not jump to conclusions. Not yet.

He threw open the door to his cabin, his robes swishing noisily around his ankles as he rummaged through his drawers in a frenzy, dipping a quill into ink and writing a hasty letter to his uncle. He would know what to do; he always did.

There was a rap on the door, followed by Admiral Jun's face.

"We are on our way North," he speculated. "I fear our return to the capital had been postponed."

"Yes, it does seem that way."

"My Lord, is it wise?" the admiral asked hesitantly. "It could be a plot to-"

"I am aware, but we do not know how large a fleet has attacked our ship. I cannot leave it to chance."

"Understood."

Zuko handed him the letter. "Send this to General Iroh at the capital. If a hawk arrives from the ship, find me immediately. I would have our men be ready, as well – Agni knows what the sea manages to throw at us."

* * *

She wiped her brow, panting. The inside of her helm was unbearably hot and a bitter sheen of sweat made her lips salty. Her hair clung to her face, but her deed, her _goal_ had been accomplished. She did not know if she could handle so many soldiers, let alone firebenders, but she had proven herself. She had proven it to all of them and now she stood amidst a clutter of bodies littering the ship deck. She hadn't killed them, no, she didn't…didn't want to lose herself so soon.

Whoever she was now, it was no one Aang or even Gran-Gran knew and maybe, just maybe, that would have frightened her but now… Now, it didn't and that alone was frightening in itself.

She stepped over their bodies, her eyes narrowing beneath the helm as she made her way to the control deck. The captain, he never came out. There were more crew hiding inside, no doubt, but they had no chance – the sea bent to her will and her will was to win.

She looked up as a hawk shot out from the ship's control deck, a scroll attached to its leg. For a moment, she considered sending up a water whip to flick the letter of its leg but she stopped herself. Let the Fire Lord know of her endeavors. It would only bring Azula to her quicker, and Katara wanted her to be angry when she came.

She sent a wave of water towards the door, breaking the metal in instantly and it crumpled with a loud crush, hitting the opposite wall with a _clang_. The captain was at the control panel, panicking as he pressed numerous buttons. When he saw Katara he shrank back in fear, throwing out his arm in a half-hearted attempt to burn her. She lazily flicked water up, casting his flame to the side which dissipated with a hiss of steam.

And she stood there, watching his golden eyes flicker back and forth and, yes, he was afraid and she basked in it. He lurched forward in a sudden movement, his face crumbling in rage but she send a stream of water to his temple, colliding harshly with his head and he slunk to the ground, unconscious.

She turned towards the control panel he was trying to protect.

_So many buttons…_

She hadn't seen technology like this before, no. The ships she was accustomed to were those of wood and nails – the way they were supposed to be.

There was something on the control panel that looked like a compass surrounded by numerous buttons. Her curiosity took the best of her and she pressed one to see what would happen; a loud cracking echoed through the metal walls of the ship as something overheard exploded in the sky, startling her.

_A flare?_

Yes, she heard that sound earlier – the captain must have sent it up when his men started dropping like flies on the deck. _Good. _She wanted them to be afraid. Even more, she wanted the Fire Nation to know she was there.

_How long until you come after me, Fire Lord?_

It had become a game – and it was exhilarating.

She turned the ship starboard and then straightened it out again, freezing ice around the wheel so it would not move nor budge, keeping the vessel on course and she went out onto the deck, standing at the bow of the ship. She threw out her arms, feeling her blood rush through her veins as loud as the breaking waves against the hull and she moved her hands forward and back, forward and back and the water began lapping faster as the ship was propelled more quickly through the waters. It was a very tiring trick; moving that much water at once to drive an entire ship forward made her limbs tremble but she couldn't stop.

Earlier, she had heard the captain and men exchanging hushed whispers about the Fire Lord's ship, which was apparently southeast of the Western Air Temple, near the coast of the fire nation colonies. She, unfortunately, had forgotten to properly thank them for their information before locking them up unconscious in the cells below decks in the coolers, where the fire in their veins could not dream of igniting.

She wanted to also thank the Fire Lord for her disgusting ships again, for as she looked down into the sea, she could see a long stream of black oil leading her towards the southern horizon and Katara smirked, basking in the irony that the Azula's own ship would aid in her demise.

* * *

Zuko squinted, trying to see any discernable shape in the distance but the night had just come and it was dark and devoid of stars, it seemed, and so he couldn't truly see anything at all. He grumbled to himself, scratching at his head in frustration. Yes, there was a rising apprehension within him, toying with him and making his limbs feel itchy. There wasn't anything he could about it, however, except wait until he spotted his ship on the horizon. Thoughts clung to him like mothballs in old tapestries – did his captain keep hold of his ship? Is anyone dead? _Who_ is attacking?

He had no answers. He _hated_ not having answers. He felt incompetent, for why kind of lord would let his people be overrun so easily?

_Damn it all. _

It wasn't the time for thoughts concerning his proficiency. No, he could sulk about his shortcomings as a Fire Lord later. Now, however…

Now, he was running to the control deck. A hawk had swooped over the ship not a moment before and Zuko had almost missed it in his grumpy thoughts. Well, he heard the screech of the massive bird, alright, and so he whirled around, calling for Admiral Jun and heading inside.

When he arrived, the Captain had already untied the scroll from the bird's leg and was holding it out to Zuko, who promptly unraveled it, his fingers slightly trembling. It was hastily drawn – as he had expected – but the words… Agni, the _words_, they-

_Pirate…the North…All men down…_

He blinked, his fingers tightening their grip on the parchment until it became wrinkled and bent.

"Admiral, send another letter to my Uncle. We have a pirate on our hands and a good one, I'd wager."

"Truly? How do you know?"

"Because!" Zuko spat loudly. "This _assassin_ took out the entire crew and _we_ are not riding on a battleship – we are on a royal barge! If this pirate could take over a ship meant for war, what do you think he could do to us on a cruiser? Agni, damn it. Damn it all. Send for my Uncle. Get me my armor. Captain, have your men burn more coal. We need to move faster. We have no trebuchets, no explosives, nothing… Defense is our only option."

"Right away, my lord," the Captain replied, bowing quickly. "Hard to port! Hard to port! Zhen, you fool, get down into the boilers and pile up the coal, dammit! We are in for a fine race, my boys."

Zuko did his best to keep his pace nothing more than walking _really_ fast, but he wanted to sprint. He wanted to run forever, actually, but he also wanted to destroy whatever pirate was threatening him now and the desire of the latter outweighed the former and so he went to his rooms, changing quickly out of his royal traveling robes and into the trousers, pointed boots, and tunic that was easier to move in for battle – _if that is what it must come to._

He placed his crown upon his dresser. No, he did not want to lose it. At any rate, the fool of a pirate would still know he was the Fire Lord for the scar he could not lose, even if he wanted to. He tapped his dresser, impatiently waiting for one of his men to bring his pauldrons and chest armor. Wearing these clothes reminded him of his younger years. Searching for the Avatar, _joining_ the Avatar… He was a boy, a teen then and now… Now he was one-and-twenty and he was leading an entire nation.

He wondered if she would have been proud of him.

If she…

He opened the drawer of his dresser, his eyes resting on the blue necklace, glowing brilliantly in the light of the full moon that seeped into his chambers. He pocketed it; something about having it close to him was reassuring.

And he needed it, he needed the reassurance for this pirate from the _North_. The North...where Aang had been for the past few years.

_Have you sided with Kuei? Have you betrayed me?_

He couldn't bear the thought; he tasted bile in his mouth at the possibility and so he pushed it from his mind. His head couldn't be cloudy, not when disaster was eminent.

He slammed the drawer shut, but not before catching the familiar blue mask, smiling up at him. It had been a long time since he had donned it, though he always brought it with him and he didn't truly know why. The Blue Spirit, yes… Maybe, if there was no chance at all he would hide himself behind the mask – at any rate, it would confuse the pirate, who would wonder where the Fire Lord went, long enough to take him down. He left it in his chambers, however, for if he needed it, it was not right now.

The Fire Lord wagered they had about half a day before their sister ship would be seen on the horizon. It would be long enough to make sure everything was as defensive as it could be. Yes, they needed all the time they could get but he was not about to be greedy.

Zuko was fitted into his armor and returned promptly to the deck, conversing with his admiral enough to feel secure about the way things were progressing on the ship. A hefty supply of coal, raging fires in the furnaces, metal bent to cover his and the captain's chamber doors as well as the control deck, precious goods hidden below decks… Yes, it was all going smoothly, much smoother than he had anticipated.

_So now, we wait._

Zuko hooked his twin blades across his back, folding his arms as he stood at the bow of the ship, watching the black waves pound against the hull. Water was beautiful, so beautiful, but it was unforgiving and, on this night, it was unbearably angry.

"My lord!"

Zuko looked up from his writing desk, the quill coming to a stop in his hands.

"What is it?"

"The ship…" his admiral panted.

He bolted to his feet, the chair falling backwards in his haste.

"It is impossible!" he shouted. "The night is still young. We were supposed to have until tomorrow, we were supposed to have…" He trailed off, massaging his temples. His heart was racing and it was annoying but the Fire Lord could not tremble, the Fire Lord could not falter where his men stood tall and ready. It was truth, though, that he was nervous and perhaps it was ridiculous – it was one person, one _pirate_ but…

He grumbled, thinking of every curse word and insult imaginable to curb his frustration. Needless to say, it didn't work. He was still angry.

"Should we tried to outsail them, my Lord?" Admiral Jun asked, his eyes urgent and wide. "This pirate could have had others join him."

"I know. No, we cannot flee. Even if we did… None of our forces are close enough to help in time. We are on a royal barge, Admiral, and the captain of our sister ship sent the distress signal here. It is obvious to our pirate that I am here. If what he wants is the Fire Lord, then the game has started. I won't run. At any rate, my uncle knows the situation at hand. If something should go awry, I have already written a letter that will be sent to him immediately, calling for his aid."

"And what of the Lady Mai? To run a nation-"

"My High Consult knows of his duties should something happen. He will stand by her side and help her. She can handle it and I trust his judgment. It will be alright, yes, it has to be alright."

Zuko ignored the petulant gaze of his admiral. He may have been curt in his response, but he needed to be. Time was too precious and they had wasted enough of it as it was.

He shifted, grimacing under the weight of his metal pauldrons. They were sharp and curved upwards in the traditional style of the Fire Nation and they rested on his shoulders heavily, poking his skin uncomfortably. He scratched the back of his neck as he pushed aside various parchments on his cluttered desk until he came to the note he had written to his uncle. He handed it to Admiral Jun, saying, "Send this to my uncle if something goes wrong."

Admiral Jun nodded, stuffing the letter into his tunic and bowing sharply before exiting the Fire Lord's chambers with haste.

It didn't make sense.

_How did you catch up to us so quickly_?

The pirate could burn as much coal as he wanted, it wouldn't change the maximum speed the ship could reach. But even so, the questions arose, boiling within Zuko like water and he tried to shut it out but his apprehension was rising and for a moment he let a sliver of fear enter his mind. It was a mistake, he knew, and so he reached into his pocket, his fingertips lightly brushing her necklace and he breathed deeply, willing his heart to slow as he left his room, the weight of his twin blades almost searing against his heated skin.

The waiting was agonizing. The middle of the night had passed recently, the moon at its peak, and the ship followed suit, beating the dawn at its own game. The waters were quiet and still, reflecting the patient bodies of Zuko's men who sat waiting, just waiting. Their bodies were rigid, hands gripping the hilts of swords, fingers pulsating beneath the fire they held in their hands for warmth and the breathing was almost timid, as though they were afraid to live too loudly.

Zuko damned himself for sailing on the royal barge. It was the proper ship to take when he was confronting the rebel problem in Yu Dao, but had he known he would be attacked by a pirate he would have had his captain sail something more suited for defense.

_It doesn't matter. Had I sailed a warship, Kuei would have seen it as an attack. No… There was nothing I could do. There was no way any of us could have foreseen this._

_No one except perhaps the Avatar. _

_Have you betrayed me, Aang? And if so… _Why_?_

And so he bared his shoulders back, watching the inky horizon as his own ship came towards him, the Fire Nation flag rippling in the height of the night.

* * *

Katara leaned against the railings of the ship, her breathing labored and quick. Pushing the waves against the hull for so long had tired her violently and her limbs were trembling from the exertion. She pushed back sweaty strands of hair that were seemingly glued to her forehead and she sighed, the cold air in the still-sleeping morning quiet and crisp. She was making good time – dawn would not come for hours, but she only needed one. Only one hour and she will have taken the Fire Lord's ship.

She _hoped_ it was the Fire Lord's ship, anyway. It _had_ to be, for it was an extravagant, ghastly thing adorned with gold and magnificently large flags bearing a more intricate version of the insignia than the one on her ship. She frowned, tapping her fingertips against the metal railing. A part of her wondered if it were a trap – Azula had proven herself to be smarter than Katara thought, at least in her dreams anyway – but there was no way they could have been waiting for her. She told no one of her plan to overtake the Fire Lord, not even Suki.

_Suki…_

Katara was sorry. She was very sorry to her friend, but she had to harden and steel herself from all emotion if she wanted to succeed. Still, she felt as if she owed Suki something. After all, it was the Kyoshi warrior that told her what she finally wanted to hear: Sokka was alive.

_Alive._

She was giddy, apprehensive, angry, and protective all in one feeling. It was almost dangerous to her body, for what heart was possibly built to feel that much in one moment? But she basked in it, it propelled her forwards and so she glared at the horizon, picturing Azula's lupine eyes in her mind as her ship continued to gain on the barge.

It was a full moon. Her gaze flicked up to the sky and she took a deep breath, willing the moon spirit and the ocean spirit to guide her on her path and grant her the strength she would need to save her kin.

"Yue," she whispered. She had not spoken to the moon spirit yet. She had only heard stories – stories from Chief Arnook, from Suki and very few from Gran-Gran – but still, she felt a little awkward reaching out to the former princess. She was a _real_ person, after all. But on this night, Yue was radiant and filtered into Katara's veins and she felt peace.

"_Yue_," she repeated, holding her fingers to her neck out of habit, her heart sinking when it was barren of her mother's necklace. "Can you hear me? Perhaps you can. And if so… Please help me. You may have met my brother, Sokka. Did you know him? You would have liked him, I think. He may have annoyed you at first, but…" She grimaced, smacking her hand against her forehead. She was horrible at talking to spirits, it seemed. In the Spirit World, it was easy. Hei Bai was always with her and his presence came naturally. It was like she belonged there, wading in the rivers that were so fond of changing directions. Things didn't make sense, no, but once she accepted that fact, it was as though she suddenly understood everything about that world.

Here, though…

The physical world was much more confusing. She shook her head, massaging her temples.

"Yue, please help me," she groaned. "Help me succeed. I need Sokka back. I need unwavering strength. I know you want peace, but… Sometimes aggression is needed before waters can settle, right? I don't…"

She gave up, mumbling to herself in frustration. Spirits don't take sides. That, she knew. She had known it this whole time, but it was worth a shot.

She turned away from the moon and back towards the Fire Lord's ship. She needed the strength of the full moon to win and so she had to the beat the dawn. She took a deep breath, pushing out her arms and beginning the circular motion again, wincing when she felt her limbs begin to strain as the ocean around began to bend to her will, pushing the ship forward even faster than before.

* * *

"Stand ready."

Admiral Jun stood rigid, his hands clasped behind his back. The men had risen from their crouched forms, taking up their arms or readying their veins for the flames that would soon warm the sky.

Zuko was nervous. His belly was twisting into knots and waves of anxiety would creep over him at what seemed like regular intervals. It was annoying. Agni, it was annoying.

_It's only one pirate. One, solitary person._

But this pirate had managed to take out an entire crew. This pirate from the North managed to operate an entire ship by himself. This pirate somehow managed to propel the ship faster than seemingly possible. And this pirate might know Aang.

_Out of all the things Aang has ever taught me, it would have been nice if he taught me how to close my mind. Maybe then I could keep these thoughts away._

Zuko sighed, twirling his blade in his hand out of habit. The ship was large, menacingly so, and it seemed to swallow up the entire horizon. It was close, so close, and his own barge was deadly silent. No one moved nor even seemed to breathe. He didn't like it, not at all.

He squinted in the darkness. He couldn't make out any discernible figures on the ship, but perhaps it was still a little too far to see. It was not even a mile away, but even so the flag seemed to swallow the world and seeing his own insignia, rippling in the moonlight, gave him no comfort.

The ship had stopped.

Zuko's eyes narrowed, his blood's temperature rising in his confusion.

"Why has he stopped?" Admiral Jun asked quietly. The Fire Lord made no response, instead proceeding to the bow of the ship. The clouds had parted, leaving the moon to shine down brilliantly upon the deck, showering Zuko in blue light.

_Why _have_ you stopped?_

His gaze narrowed even more. None of this was making sense! His questions – none of them were being answered. His sister ship stared at him, stationary, and his hands clenched into fists, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

_What game are you playing at?_

* * *

Katara took a deep breath. She balanced precariously on the railings of the stern of the ship, looking down at the inky black waters.

_It's time._

_I can't turn back._

She turned, careful to not slip off the railings, so her back was towards the ocean. She looked at the empty deck before her, letting her thoughts turn to who she would soon face. If she was afraid, it was buried by her anger. It felt… _good_.

_I'm coming, brother._

She closed her eyes, throwing out her arms and letting herself fall backwards off the railing. She plummeted into the water, the coldness enveloping her body in a breathtaking, surreal way. She felt _alive, _electric, every hair standing on end as she propelled herself through the black sea, bending the water around her mouth to leave a bubble for air.

It was almost a mile to the ship, a distance she covered in what felt like no time. She could see the keel under the water, massive and black and metal in its monstrosity. She pulled herself up, careful to be straight as an arrow in the lapping waters to avoid unnecessary sound. The ripples hitting the hull were loud enough, however, and so she had no problem moving up to the side of the ship as no more than a ghostly entity, unsure herself if she was more than just an enigma. It had seemed the Fire Lord had ordered her ship to come to a halt and Katara sent a quick thanks up to Yue for it would have been much harder to keep up with the ship while avoiding detection were it still moving forward.

_I need strength, but it seems luck doesn't hurt either._

Katara pressed herself against the ship, the metal searing cold against her skin. She panted, letting her limbs relax for a moment before straining her ears to hear any sound of movement above. These steel and iron monsters were enormously tall, however, and so she could not hear anything at all but she didn't doubt that they were waiting, starkly waiting for her. She looked towards the bow, squinting in the moonlight.

_The moonlight._

Dawn wasn't due for a few more hours yet but the moon had passed its peak. Time was passing all too quickly and Katara knew she must hurry if she were to have any chance at taking the Fire Lord and her beloved men. The blue light from the moon faltered; clouds were gathering in the night.

_It may just rain._

Katara's gaze narrowed.

There was a man leaning out over the bow of the ship. She tried to creep closer, careful to stay hidden against the side of the ship as she let the current of the water carry her closer to the front. She could not see much of him in the distance that separated him, save for his stark black hair that looked blue in the moonlight and the two blades that glinted against his back. The way he stood gave him a regal air and Katara found herself drawn to him – not in a good way, no, but in a hungry way.

She shook her head, clearing her mind. She would destroy him if she had to, but he was not her target. No…Her target had the eyes of a sick wolf, the hair of a slick raven – _or are you a coward, a crow? _– and the gaze of an apathetic serpent.

_Do I not have to be the same? Don't I have to be just like you if I am to win?_

Katara scoffed, moving her hands around in the water to warm up her muscles. She would never be Azula. She would never be any degree like her. It was true, she had to _think_ like her – for the Fire Lord was damnably smart.

_You might not approve of what I'm doing, Yue, but if you knew Sokka, you would know that this is something I must do._

And so she repositioned the wolfhelm on her head, closing her eyes before thrusting her arms downward, the water spiraling around her like a funnel as she sprung herself out of the sea, soaring up the metal wall until the deck was in sight.

_Just a little closer…_

The men were ready. She could see them, crouched and stern, weapons or flame in hand. They were waiting, waiting for something and she knew even they did not know what they were waiting for. Katara smirked coyly.

_Should I have sent a messenger hawk first to let you know of my visiting?_

It was as easy as the flick of her wrist. She let her funnel of water carry her in a big arch over the deck so quickly the soldiers did not at first see her. Then, one of the men's eyes widened in alarm but before he could yell for aid, Katara flicked her hand and a stream of water flew beneath her fingertips, jolting straight towards his chest and throwing him backwards. He landed in a crumpled heap and Katara let the water around her body bring her back down to the sea, out of sight.

She panted, gripping the bolts in the ship's body for stability. She wasn't weary – no, the moon was granting her with power – but there were so many men, so many of them and most, if not all, of them were benders. She had taken over the other ship easy enough, but it was nothing more than a patrol group, so there weren't many onboard.

Now, though, there were at least twenty of them on deck. Inside, there were probably more than a dozen more waiting for her. For the first time, she felt a little afraid.

_Don't back out now. Don't back out now. _

She looked up at the moon which was mostly obscure from the rainclouds, focusing on her breathing and the feeling of her blood pumping through her veins. She flexed her arm, watching her veins bulge and then disappear.

_Yue, grant me the power of a beast._

_But only as a last resort._

Humanity, once lost, was terrifyingly hard to find again.

She could hear them shouting on the deck, wondering when their shadowed enemy would reappear. It was strangely comforting to know they were worried and so, using that thought to boost her adrenaline, she summoned the swirling tube of water around her body once more and shot herself up onto the deck with blurring speed. She landed at the bow of the ship, looking up slowly at the men who stared at her in shock through the slits of her wolfhelm. They were frozen for a moment; the air felt devoid of time until one of the soldiers snarled a guttural sound, leaping forward and jutting out his fists which we were alight with flame, and in that moment all of time seemed to speed up alarmingly and they were coming for her, they were all coming at once like a deluge of red and gold and it reminded her, it reminded her so clearly of the day, _that_ day they took her mother from her – the day when the snow turned black and the people dressed in blue were crying and the demons dressed in red were laughing and her mother, she was bowing in front of a man, yes, _that_ man – _the one with the scar from the dreams? _– and then she was dead. Only dead.

She threw the soldiers backwards with a massive wave that drowned the deck in cold, salty waters and they were spluttering, they were reaching for the weapons that were being carried away from them, they were cursing at their fire which had so quickly, so _easily_, been extinguished. Some were screaming, "Waterbender! _Waterbender!_" and others were screaming, "_Assassin!" _and it made her _angry_. Yue, it made her angry! She wanted to shut them up. She wanted to tell them that she wasn't the assassin – it was they who rode on their metal giants and destroyed her home, it was they who tainted the virgin snow with soot, it was they who stole her mother's corpse and left Katara alone, _so_ alone, and it was they who needed to die for _they_ were the assassins. It wasn't her! It wasn't her. She was atoning for her weakness. She was atoning for her inability to save her mother. She had to find Sokka – _if only you could understand – _she had to make things right for if she did, then maybe her mother could rest in peace and Katara could finally remember everything that happened to her in all those years she forgot. Azula would witness her vengeance and it would be cold and filled with the salt of the sea.

She was a coward, but no more.

_No more_.

They came at her like flies buzzing around raw meat that had been left out in the sun too long. They came at her like the jaws of angry animals, snapping and curling and hissing – but they weren't hissing, no, it was merely the sound of steam as she doused their fires, adding kindling to the one that was raging inside of her. Her body was languid, graceful, lithe as she moved in between all of them, twisting and turning underneath arms and hands that grasped for her, swords that swung above her head, fire that seared past her skin, but she avoided them all, no more than a shadow given shape in the moonlight. She saw a flash of the raven-haired man that was standing at the bow of the ship – _I suppose they are all raven-haired – _and for a moment, he distracted her and a jet of flame collided with the side of her helm. Katara staggered, dropping to one knee. Her ears were ringing and she blinked, trying to clear the fuzz in her mind and she turned, scowling angrily as she drew water from the sea, freezing it into needle-sharp icicles and throwing them forward like hundreds of tiny spears.

_Katara!_

She froze. The icicles stopped, not an even an inch before the soldier's chest, which they would have sunk into like dough.

It was Sokka's voice, seemingly so near, but yet naught more than an echo.

"He's here?" she whispered to herself, eyes growing wide. She let the icicles drop. The world had seemed to stand still – even the soldiers had frozen in fear, wondering if this northern pirate was so easily going to _kill_. Katara blinked, her thoughts coming back to her. She was going to kill him, to _kill _him…To watch with pride at the beads of blood that would bubble over his tunic and spill down his still body.

She hadn't a second thought! Not until Sokka…

_Was that truly you? Were you saving me from myself?_

It began raining.

She couldn't breathe, only stare in horror at her hands, turning her palms over and over, trying to imagine a world where she was so quick to turn to the finality of death.

"_Who have I become_?" she muttered vacantly.

Her mind was snapped back to the present when she was thrown to the ground, arms pinning her down as fire licked at her skin and it hurt, it hurt so badly but she wouldn't scream. They did not deserve the satisfaction! She threw up her leg, smashing her foot against the face of a young soldier who screamed, holding his broken jaw as blood spurted from his nose and mouth and with the moment of reprieve, she drew water to her and, flipping her legs around one another, spun herself to a crouched form and throwing the water out in a wide, even circle, freezing it instantly when it touched the soldiers' bodies, encasing them in a thick wall of ice. They struggled violently, grunting and cursing and the rain ran down their faces; the rain was coming down harder, making it more difficult for Katara to see every man that plagued the deck.

The anger rose again, stronger than before. Fire was destruction, fire was blood, and it was fierce.

A blur sped past her. She whirled around, her breath hot and moist inside of the helm and she glimpsed that damned, haunting man as he reached for the blades behind his back. Her eyes narrowed as she threw forth a whip of water, aiming to wrap it around his ankles and pull him to her but he leapt deftly to the side with commendable speed. She grimaced, chastising herself for missing him when he turned his blades toward her, lounging forward as a jet of flame spiraled towards her from the tip of each sword. Katara could hear the panicked shouts of, "_Protect the Fire Lord!_" as she spun around, whipping the water around her to form a solid wall of ice, sending the flame to dissipate and leave behind only steam. She bent the rain that pelted her skin and drew two stakes of ice, one under each palm and she turned back to face him, the ice sharper than razors in her grasp. She drew back her arm and, just as she shot her hands forward, releasing the icicles, the raven-haired man stumbled back in surprise, his shaggy hair parting to show his face.

_The scar..._

That_ scar._

_No, no, Yue, no…_

And Katara staggered, sending the ice stakes in the wall of the control deck behind him, her eyes widening in unimaginable shock at the sight of that ghastly scar that plagued his face.

_I…missed._

The door burst open. Over half a dozen men in flaming red silks and coal-black armor sprinted from up the stairs to the deck, their helms dark and pointed and menacing. Katara shrank back, preparing to pull up her arms and send a freezing cold wave of water down their throats but they were fast, so fast in her moment of hesitation and she could feel their fire touching her skin, heating her helm to an unbearable temperature that sent sweat down her neck and then they had her, their hot, angry hands pulling at her painfully and she struggled, she struggled so violently but they twisted her arms and she forced herself to swallow her cries and the rain, it was interfering with her sight and it was dripping from her body and then… She was afraid.

They forced her to her knees, pulling her arms behind her. Zuko thought he could see a slight tremble in her shoulders, but he blinked and she was still. His eyes narrowed, wondering what face she wore behind the mask.

_And are you gritting your teeth in pain?_

His hands clenched into fists. And she should be in pain, this peasant, this crude assassin that dared to challenge his own fleet, his own _nation_. Well, she missed. The infamous pirate missed when she attempted to stake him. A part of him, amidst his gratefulness, was disappointed. He thought it would at least be a better fight.

Zuko's lips pulled back in a snarl as he crossed his arms over his chest, striding forwards until he came to rest in front of her kneeling figure. His shoes sloshed around the water on the deck and the rain was coming down harder, plastering his hair to his face and gluing his robes to his body. The intricate fabrics around her body were soaked, and he could see strands of dark hair that fell below her headpiece. She struggled against the guards, but they tightened their hold, twisting her wrists and she bent forward slightly, causing Zuko's lip to curl up into a sneer.

He knew warriors like her would never show fear or pain. She would never be submissive, but he took sadistic pride in knowing it still hurt her like hell. _So when will you break?_

He nodded once at his men and they twisted her arms further. She buckled at this, her head nearly dropping against the deck. Her back muscles were twitching beneath her clothes – clothes from the North, it seemed; Zuko blinked the rain from his eyes, looking over to the Captain of his ship, silently ordering him to step forward.

"On behalf of the Fire Nation, for the charge of treason and attempts on the Fire Lord's life, you, _assassin_, are hereby sentenced to immediate death," the Captain said dryly before sighing. "Any last words, say them now." He grumbled under his breath.

_What a man, to be bored from executions._

Zuko tensed up and leaned forward, a smirk crossing the shadows on his face. She stilled then, her body softening against the deck. He watched her breaths slow, his brows drawing together in annoyance. He began to lift his hand to call forth his Captain when she spoke so quietly, he had to lean forward to hear.

"My brother…" she whispered, her head still bowed. "She was supposed to have him. She told me she _had_ him. Then, I guess it's true…" Her head snapped up suddenly, bitter blue eyes staring into his own behind her wolfhelm. "_Azula always lies._"

Zuko stumbled back, his eyes widening in terror. His heart beat twice and then seemed to stop, exploding within his chest.

"What…" he breathed, "_What did you say_?"

But then she ripped her arms from the guards' grasps. She swung her leg out behind her, the men crashing to the deck and she rolled forward, coming to a crouched form. Zuko snarled, flames erupting from the tips of his fingers and he basked in the feeling of his anger licking at his skin. He pulled his arm back before freezing as she slowly lifted her head, her eyes meeting his. He could not look away, he could not think, but he could almost remember where he had seen…

_No._

Her arms shot backwards, her fingers twitching and the men on the deck began convulsing, their eyes bulging against their sockets as they were forced to their knees by some unseen force, their heads bowing forward until they touched the deck. The flames at Zuko's fingers erupted into a roaring flame and he growled angrily, lurching forward.

But then his flames were gone.

And his fingers were trembling, curling against one another despite his own will. His face crumpled, his heart pounding as a strange, almost painful feeling erupted within the veins in his body. He could feel it, he could _feel _it, almost as if his veins themselves were twisting and intertwining, but it was not him, it was not what he wanted his limbs to do! He fell to his knees on the deck, the veins in his neck forcing his head back and he gurgled, he spluttered, his throat closing. His captain fell beside him, shaking violently.

He could hear the door open, he could hear feet running onto the slick deck but she threw her arms forward and they, too, fell to the floor, the rain falling upon their still faces, peacefully unconscious, unaware of the horror she could plague with them if she wanted.

Fear gripped at his heart, but even she controlled how fast it beat. It was not possible! It was not possible… She stopped in front of him then, looking down at him beneath her wolfhelm and he shuddered. She raised her hand slightly and his head was forced upward and she turned his eyes toward the sky as though she were giving him some answer. The storm clouds shut out the light of the stars, but there was a break in the sky; he could see a full m-

_A full moon._

_Agni, no. No, no, please, no!_

But there was she was, standing amidst her element, the rain dripping from her body and he could feel her angry glare behind the mask, he could feel her inside his _blood_. The part in the clouds let the glow of the moon envelop her; she seemed almost surreal, but deadly so and in that moment, he was terrified.

_Bloodbender_.

When she closed his throat once more and his face felt blue and he wanted to scream for air, she froze. Her head tilted downward, her eyes staring into his chest and she released her hold on him and he gasped, clawing at his throat as he gulped in shuddering, panicked, uneven breaths. His robes had come undone in the struggle and he looked down at his own skin, the scar on his chest angry and red.

_Did a scar make you falter, assassin? Look at my face instead; show me your disgust and look at my face!_

But she only dropped to her knees, the rain on the deck sloshing against the pieces of fabric that hung from her hips. She leaned forward, her wolf head tilting and her arm reached out slowly. He trembled slightly as her gloved fingertips trailed over his skin, resting on his scar. She prodded at it gently, inching forward until her head was only inches from him. He could feel her shaking and the control over his blood had released completely. He sighed with the freedom, but he tensed up and leaned away from her, unsure of what was happening.

_Get away from me._

His lips lifted into a snarl, but her hand was at his face and he froze. He tried to slap her hand away but she took the blood in his veins and, almost _gently_, bended his hand away from her.

"_Tch_…" he growled, but there was something in her hands, something that he would never admit to, that calmed him. They felt…They felt _familiar._ She tilted her head again.

"I…did this?" she whispered as if asking, staring at the scar on his chest before her wounded eyes rose to meet his again. He was confused for a moment, but then her fingers hooked under her chin, lifting the helm from her face.

His heart began pounding even harder, almost painfully so, for in his heart, he knew there was only one bender that could control blood, that could have such power circling her spirit, but he could not bring himself to believe it could…

Blue eyes, crystalline and sparkling with pools of an angry sea, stared wildly at him.

And then he breathed the name, _that_ name he swore he would never let settle on his lips, never speak, but there it was and there _she_ was and the world stopped the moment he whispered,

"_Katara."_


	9. Chapter 8: The Northern Pirate

**_****THIS IS AN EDITED CHAPTER****_**

Please note, you guys... Chapter 8 had been edited.

I received many PMs about Katara being too OOC. If there is something I can work on in my story, please let me know - but do so in a constructive way. Writers are emotional, personal, and sensitive. Like I said, I take to heart what you review, but if it just an attack towards me, it really brings me down and makes me re-think writing this at all.

This is a fanfiction. I am not a writer of ATLA. This story is different than the original, it is different than the comics. This is my work (using ATLA characters) and I just thought I would share it with you all. That's it - so please avoid attacking comments. Be _constructive._

However, I do agree with Katara's actions in this chapter, so that is why this has been edited.

Please note I will not go back and edit every little thing everyone doesn't agree on liking - but this was a big exception; I did not develop Katara the right way and I apologize. Feel free to re-read this Chapter and let me know what you think.

* * *

**Chapter 8: The Northern Pirate**

It was just as she had left it. Blue tapestries, glistening with silver trim, covered the long walls in intricately woven, beautiful designs that encompassed the true feeling of the Northern Water Tribe. The furniture was a dark oak, meticulously chiseled and carved into winding structures adorned with gems and woolen cushions. The bed was made, so neatly and wrinkle-free the sheets looked at if they hadn't been slept in for months. The ashes in the fireplace had long since been sifted to the side from the breeze, carelessly thrown into some forgotten, unseen corner. The window had been left open – that was the only sign that someone had _ever _lived in these chambers – and the curtains swayed, but even they, too, looked nothing more than lifeless. There was a basin of water, the pot glazed in the traditional style of the North. The water itself, however, had long begun to evaporate and now only a small puddle lined the bottom, reflecting Suki's face which, on that day, was devoid of the warpaint of the Kyoshi Warriors.

Suki's reflection trembled, her pursed lips solemn.

Yes, the room was just as Katara had left it.

_Katara._

At first, Suki was confused. Two weeks had already passed since she bounded happily to Katara's chambers, bundles of a carefully prepared breakfast in her arms, when she discovered the room to be empty. She assumed Katara might have just gone to practice early, as she was wont to do, but there was the bed, deftly made, and the open window that proved everything she thought otherwise. Yes, she was very confused but her nervous interrogations of Chief Hakoda, Gran-Gran, Pakku and other warriors she had briefly met confirmed her suspicions that the waterbender was gone.

And then, Suki was worried. She felt guilty, too. How could she tell Katara's grandmother that it was possibly her fault Katara left? How could she tell her that she secretly trained Katara for two months, building her strength for some secret reason Suki even herself didn't get to know? And that secret reason…

_What is it, Katara? What were you so keen on hiding from me?_

And it hurt, it hurt that Suki put her trust in her. Katara _asked_ her for her trust and she gave it, she gave it so willingly because they were _friends_.

_Or so I thought._

After the guilt passed, Suki was angry. She felt betrayed, lied to, kept in the dark… She felt all of these things so strongly; she was _trustworthy_. She wasn't stupid. So why did Katara think she could so easily be fooled? She wanted to help, she _did_ help.

_Is this how you repay your friends?_

_You were right, you know. You are different._

Suki's reflection glared back at her. She scowled in frustration, smacking her hand against the water, sending it flying out of the basin in angry droplets that splattered the wall. Suki leaned over the table, squeezing her eyes shut as she struggled to pace her breaths. Her fingers were trembling as they gripped the table.

_How long will it be until I'm not angry at you anymore?_

She didn't _want_ to be angry, but it had already been two weeks and still Katara was gone. She didn't want to be angry; she hated it. But all that had gone wrong was in front of her – five years and she did her best to move on from the war against Ozai. It had been _five_ years and she tried to mend her heart after the loss and Katara and Sokka but the _joy_, the pure joy and disbelief she felt when Katara awakened was unlike anything she had ever felt and maybe it was her fault for letting herself become swept up in the disillusionment that everything was going to return back to normal. Maybe it was her fault for not taking into account the anger and hurt and guilt that Katara felt, but Suki's ignorance was not planned. She didn't mean to try and force things back to the way they were, but the emptiness of Katara's room proved that she failed.

_I only wanted us to all be friends again._

But time moved forward; each passing day was a further step away from the madness the Phoenix King wrought upon the world and everyone was _changed_ – Toph, Aang, Hakoda, herself… They were all different. Things could never be the same. Only a fool could think otherwise.

_And that was my greatest mistake. I was a fool and you outsmarted me, Katara. _

The back of her eyes felt hot and tight; she hadn't cried since Sokka left, his face taught with grief and madness. He didn't say goodbye to anyone, not even Momo. She should have realized then that he was never planning on coming back.

_Even if you did come back, would you recognize your sister? _

"Guilt is the heaviest burden to bear, especially for one so young."

Suki looked up, tears welling in her eyes, distorting and blurring the image of Gran-Gran in the doorway. She had her hands clasped together beneath her robes, her white hair starkly neat, and she was smiling but her smile was sad.

Suki was quiet for a long while, distrusting of her voice which would no doubt quiver with all that was forlorn and she stared intently at her hands, her fingers intertwining with one another in her efforts to keep her tears from falling. Then she asked:

"How did you feel when you noticed she was gone?"

Gran-Gran walked forward, coming to rest beside her. Suki straightened up, letting the old woman push strands of hair away from her teary face.

"I felt all that you feel now. I waited so long for her to come back, just as you did." Gran-Gran paused and Suki noticed how feeble the woman sounded as she sighed.

_She's getting old._

"I was an idiot," Suki said. "I _trained_ her, Gran-Gran. It was my fault. My fault."

"You did only what your friend asked of you."

Suki turned, heading to the bed where she sat quietly, pulling her legs up against her chest and resting her chin on her knees.

"You noticed."

Gran-Gran laughed at this. "Of course I noticed," she said lightly. "I should _hope_ that I would have noticed. If not… Well, then, it would have seemed my years of wisdom were only a façade."

Suki smiled, sniffling. "You sound as if nothing is wrong. You sound _happy_. How do you do it?"

"I have faith in my granddaughter. I know you do, too." Gran-Gran sat down beside the warrior, pushing strands of her brown hair away from her face. Suki blinked, her eyelashes heavy from tears.

"You don't understand how frustrating it is. Katara wants to know what happened and she _should, _but even I can't get give her what she seeks because I don't know. I don't _know_ what happened."

"Katara was always a stubborn girl," Gran-Gran continued. "If questions are answered _for _her, she throws them away and searches for her own answers. To wake up with nothing after years of stillness… I couldn't imagine it. If I could explain to her everything she needs to know, I would but, you see, she wouldn't take my answers. She trusts me, but she needs to see for herself."

Suki's shoulders slumped. "Makes sense, I guess, though I'm tired of all the self-empowering, enlightenment mojo. It's just an excuse. It would be easier to try to just convince her to listen to us."

Gran-Gran rubbed Suki's arm, which was quite soothing in Suki's broody moment. "Katara will be _fine_," the woman said. "As will you. Nothing was your fault. She will return – yes, she will come back after she finds what she is looking for."

Suki stood suddenly – she did not really know why – and her hands clenched into fists. Yue, it was annoying, this anger she felt. She couldn't make it go away; neither could Gran-Gran, even though Suki knew she was sincerely trying.

"Sokka, you mean," Suki said quietly.

"I'm sorry, dear?"

Suki turned, her eyes rising to meet the starkly blue irises of Katara's grandmother. "You say Katara left to find something," she continued. "It's Sokka."

Gran-Gran clasped her hands together, standing, and she patted the covers of the bed gently to straighten out the wrinkles.

"Yes, I believe she is looking for him."

"And you know where he is?"

"Yes."

"And you _keep _it from her? Her family keeps her _brother _from her and for what purpose? What reason could you possibly have?" Suki began pacing, fuming as she shook her head, her hair whipping her cheeks. "So many secrets, Gran-Gran! Zuko doesn't even know Katara is back. Yue _knows _why we keep him in the dark. He's the Fire Lord, after all."

"My son sent a lett-"

"Why is everyone keeping damned secrets from everyone? I miss Sokka, too. You _know_ that."

She paused to catch her breath, her vision frustratingly blurred from angry tears. She scoffed at herself, leaning against the wall to steady the pounding in her head. She held her forehead, willing the pain to pass. Then, speaking so quietly she saw Gran-Gran lean forward to hear better:

"I loved him, too. If you want Katara to uncover her past on her own, that's fine. But you can at least tell _me_. Tell me where he went. I'll keep it between us; you can trust me." She faltered, her breathing shaky and feeble sounding.

_I'm weaker than I thought. Is this what defeat feels like?_

"Just tell me," she whispered. "Secrets drove Katara away. Don't do the same to me."

* * *

"_Katara…"_

He watched her eyes snap open widely, her brows drawing upward.

Zuko forgot how to breathe; he lacked the _ability _to breathe. It was impossible. It was impossible. She was gone, she was dead, she was everything he feared made into reality.

She was dead.

_I… watched you die._

His heart pulled against his chest painfully; he could feel the warmth of her fingers as they trailed over his scar and her face was twisted with something akin to confusion and…pain. Yes, there was so much pain.

He leaned into the caress of her hand, his fingers brushing over hers. Time in that moment did not exist – in that moment, all was still. Nothing was _sane_, least of all his mind! His ears were ringing; bodies littered the deck of the ship, _his_ ship, and yet in that moment all he could see were the tides in her eyes, relentlessly wild and almost vulnerable. It was almost as if…yes, as if she did not expect to see him.

But that didn't matter now; his confusion didn't matter now because she was _here_. In the flesh, she was here in front of him, her eyes drilling into his own and for a tyrannical moment, he wondered if Agni himself was toying with him and he was simply dreaming.

But then she pulled out a dagger, snapping her helm back down over her face and he heard a scream of, "_Your Grace_!" and Zuko started, throwing up his arm with a shield of fire which burst towards her and she stumbled backwards, dropping her dagger and holding her burnt fingertips with an angry hiss and the captain sprinted forward from some unseen hiding place, throwing binding ropes. She tried to run, but the ropes caught her and wound around her body and she fell hard to the deck, gasping from the impact.

Zuko blinked, unsure of what had just happened in such a short span of time. He watched in horror; she was almost _growling_, writhing on the ground as she struggled to escape the ropes, but she couldn't and Zuko couldn't look away, he couldn't even _move_ and his eyes were still with shock. She began using her legs to try and push herself away but Zuko watched, immobile, as his captain went over to her and swung his leg, kicking her head so hard the helm flew from her face and she went still, her body limp and oblivious to the rain.

The captain dropped to his knees, panting. He looked over to Zuko.

"_Bitch. _Do you know her?" he asked breathlessly.

But Zuko didn't respond. His mind was racing but at the same time completely blank. It was terribly frustrating.

_ I did know her. I _thought _I knew her._

_But…_

_Yes, that's right, I watched you die. _

"What should we do with her, Your Grace?" the captain prompted, reaching down to pull her by the arm.

Zuko tried to avoid looking at her face, but his eyes disobeyed his commands. The impressive mass of dark curls that were strewn out over the deck brought back years or memories, all flashing across his eyes with such ferocious speed his head began to hurt. But in this form, in this stillness, she looked peaceful and not angry.

It was all so confusing; it was something he could not dare to think about in that moment but the questions, they arose despite his efforts and he found himself worrying, wondering, marveling at how she was alive, why no one had told him, and why, Agni _why_ she tried to kill him.

_You tried…to kill me?_

_But-_

"Your Grace."

Zuko looked up with a grunt before shaking his head to clear his muddied thoughts.

"I just…" he began, but then he saw movement. The captain was coming towards him with a concerned look on his face but there was something else, another body stirring behind him and Zuko tried to warn his captain, he tried to tell him that someone was behind him but before the startled words could leave his mouth, his captain froze, his eyes bulging as two dark hands wrapped around his neck, ice erupting from the fingertips and quickly making webbed trails across his skin, turning him a winter's shade of blue, eating through him like platypus-bear piss eats through deep snow. The Captain mouth popped open as Katara froze him still where he stood – his eyes were still moving behind the wall of ice, trembling, and with a sickening realization, Zuko realized he was still alive. The hands removed themselves and a foot kicked him forward, sending him sprawling face-first into Zuko's lap.

Zuko's face twisted with horror as he tried to scramble backwards beneath the frozen man's heavy weight. A shadow loomed over him, blocking out the light of the moon as it began its descent in the night sky to make way for the morn.

She stood there, panting with anger and pain, blood running down her face from the gash the captain's kick left her on the side of her head. She held the dagger in her hand, bright crimson and dripping and she looked mad, she looked crazed – she was not who he knew before – and she tilted her head slowly.

"'_Your Grace'_?" Katara spoke. "And so it seems you have a _lot _of explaining to do."

* * *

The parchment wrinkled heavily, her pale fingers trembling. She stood, the silken robes pooling coolly around her slippered feet.

"A _pirate_?" Mai asked, her voice that of a bored woman despite her racing mind. General Iroh was standing near the table, arms folded neatly beneath his robes. The Fire Lord's letter, written in haste, had arrived that morning. His words were alarming, at the very least.

"Off the western shore of the Earth Kingdom, yes," Iroh replied heavily.

Mai looked up, noticing for the first time that no, he was not wearing his traditional robes but rather a thick tunic covered by heavy maroon shoulderplates. She blinked.

"You mean to leave?" she asked incredulously.

"I know when my nephew needs me, my lady," Iroh spoke. "Ty Lee will accompany me, so I fear you will be without your closest friend for some weeks."

"_Weeks…_" Mai breathed. "What am I to do in the meantime? I promised the Fire Lord I would keep things in order while he was away, but now-"

"Zuko's High Consult will aid you in my absence. He will offer you the insight you need." The general came forward, taking her hands in his, the letter crinkling into a ball between their interwoven fingers. "This was not the Earth King's doing, I fear. Kuei would not risk jeopardizing the Harmony Restoration Movement in such a quick moment of action."

Mai grunted, pulling her hands away from his. "Doesn't matter much now, does it? If this pirate has taken down two ships, it doesn't matter which nation they came from. The Fire Lord might be a hostage."

"There have been no letters sent out of ransom, but it is a possibility," Iroh sighed heavily.

"Things are far more interesting than they have been in years," Mai smirked, sinking into a plush chair, dangling a bare foot over the side. "The Fire Lord-"

"Will you never call him by his name, my lady?" the general questioned softly. Mai bristled.

_I'll call him by his name when he realizes that, all this time, I've been a real person, not just a political statement._

Her amber eyes narrowed, her lips pursed tautly as she replied in a curt manner, "Send me the Fire Lord's consult."

"At once, my dear," Iroh said before bowing deeply, smiling pleasantly up at her. "Forgive me for my words. I will see you in some weeks." Mai waved her hand submissively, rolling her eyes some but in truth, his words were kind and she was hesitant to see him leave. The door closed softly behind him and she could hear his faint humming, getting quieter and quieter until she could hear no more.

She flattened out the crumpled ball of parchment in her hands, reading her fiancé's words once more. Yes, definitely a pirate from the North, all men down, both ships sieged…

_Will this be the rest of my life? Plots, treason, lies… Does nobility and fancy dresses outweigh the heresy? _

She didn't know, she did not truly know anything for certain at all, but it was a life she had been born into, a life she had further chosen when the Fire Lord asked for her hand. It was all stressful – Agni, if she got wrinkles for this she would have strong words to say to the court physician – and nothing seemed solid. It felt as the wind blew too roughly only once, everything around her would come crashing down in waves of-

_Waves._

_Water._

She looked at the letter again, sitting on the edge of the chair in revelation. Her fingers shook slightly as her eyes narrowed, scanning the words over and over again to be sure.

And there it was.

_A pirate from the North._

Her heart skipped a beat, her head snapping up in startling realization.

"_Katara_," she whispered.


	10. Chapter 9: The Imperial Missive

******PLEASE NOTE - THIS IS IMPORTANT******

**I have edited Chapters 7 and 8 due to the mass of PMs I received regarding Katara's character development. Feel free to go back and read those again if you like. Please be constructive when sending me reviews. Some of the messages I read were a bit more attacking than I would have liked. I understand Katara was too OOC. I have fixed it. But I would like to remind you, this is just a fanfiction and I am a human being (and a sensitive writer, at that). Please be nice. I will gladly attempt to the make the story better through revisions, but if I start feeling attacked again, it may affect me writing this at all. I know I'm being butthurt and sensitive. But writing means a lot to me. So just be kind, I will be kind, and the story will continue on.**

I take your criticism to heart. I enjoy reading all of your personal takes on the chapters and how everyone reads it differently.

I would also like to note...Some of you were disappointed in Zuko and Katara's meeting. Many of you were very excited for them to see each other again, especially with how I had built up Zuko's emotions concerning her absence. However, please remember - their meeting was supposed to take place at the North Pole. It was _supposed _to be a positive reunion (at least on Zuko's part) _but_ previously Mai, who had received the letter of Katara's awakening, burned it. Her and Iroh's attempts to tell Zuko of what they did didn't go as planned. Each character has their own motive, as is with any piece of literature - remember this with Mai as we see her development through the story. Zuko and Katara's less-than-friendly understanding of one another is just as shocking to them as it is for us - but things are not set in stone yet! We still have so much to see, so much development to experience! I hope I do not disappoint.

As always, thank you so much for reading.

* * *

**Chapter 9: The Imperial Missive**

Morning had come, greeting the still waters with oranges and pinks that filtered through the heavens and into the sky like strokes of a paintbrush. It was calm, the breeze warm – starkly unlike the crisp morns in the North – and Katara breathed deeply, her fingers already touching her barren neck for what seemed the dozenth time. It bothered her, the absence of her mother's necklace but there was naught she could do. It was up to the spirits if she could redeem herself enough for it to come back to her.

And all of her sins, all of her wrongdoings were scattered on the deck behind her. Blood had stained the metal floors of the ship, dry and caked, and bodies littered the area, still and stiff, eyes open and upturned towards the morning sky they could not truly see anymore. She had gotten sick many times since the hours before when she…

Yes, she killed them.

She had rushed to the railings, her sickness spewing from her mouth into the ocean far below. She felt more than just sick – she felt dead, just like them. The realization of what she had done engulfed her, washing over her like a deluge of unforgiving sin and boastfully dismal victory. Is this who she was? Those years she didn't remember, the thoughts that Azula put into her head, the visions, the dreams… What was real? Who _was _she?

_Motherly Katara, Just Katara, Patron-of-the-People Katara…_ These titles, these names, these praises, all whispered to her during the anniversary celebration in the North, but could she believe any of them? Did they even know her at all, or did they take advantage of her blank memory in attempt to convince her of who she _ought _to be?

But she could not lie – she had never expected to kill.

It was though…once she saw the first one go down, it was easier to make the others follow suit.

_This is all for Sokka. This is all for Azula._

At least that was what she was wont to tell herself, for how could she face her victory with grace when the face of so many men stared at her, unblinking and immobile? They had families, no doubt, they had sisters and mothers and sons and wives and they would never go home. They could never go home again.

_But this is my justice to you. _

_I was robbed of the chance to go home, too._

Earlier that morning when the sun had still not yet risen and the body of the ship's captain was still warm at her feet, she had bent that soldier's blood, pulling him – and that scar – closer to her so she could bind his hands behind his back with the ropes they had so desperately used to capture her. They failed, however, and those who fail never live long enough to tell the story of _why _they didn't win but something stopped her from killing him. She felt the _need _to, but that scar, that gods-awful scar that haunted her dreams was staring her in the face and she knew, oh yes she knew that it was _him_, the brother Suki had told her about. It was Azula's brother, the bastard, and so she did not kill him but rather dragged him down to the cells below decks. She thought he would have put up a fight but he seemed dazed, he seemed confused and out of sorts with the way he just kept _staring _at her and then looking away as though he instantly regretted it.

She had thrown him inside the cell and he stumbled to the wall, hitting it hard before turning to look at her one last time and…his eyes were so golden in that moment, golden and conflicted, and they began closing.

He was the only survivor on the ship, that she made sure of as she sprinted down every hallway, down every deck and into every room of the ship, ripping open the doors or simply using waves of water to crush the metal down but something was wrong! Something was so wrong and her chest started tightening, keeping air from leaving or entering her lungs and she clutched her throat as she ran, willing the pain of her fears to pass quickly.

_Azula._

She wasn't there, she wasn't there, she was _supposed _to be there! The dreams, the visions, the pictures in her mind she believed the spirits gave her – they were all _wrong_.

_I have been forsaken._

_I have been deceived._

_They _lied _to me!_

And so she kept running, checking every room, every storage cell, ripping down tapestries and throwing inkwells and bottles against the wall on which they shattered violently in her rage. She spent near an hour bending icicles and shooting them into the wall with speed and strength until there were almost a hundred of them sticking out of the metal, but this did not quell her anger nor her frustration. She had been betrayed.

Azula was not there. The Fire Lord was not there.

_All this time, all of this tracking, and for what purpose? To take a lowly brother as a hostage?_

That was the first time she had run to the side of the ship, her sickness falling from her mouth. That was the first time she let angry, crazed tears drip down her chin as she destroyed whatever she could get her hands on. Her eyes were bloodshot, no doubt, but she didn't care; she grabbed at her hair, pulling on it painfully as she surveyed the deck filled with the bodies of soldiers but no sign of a Fire Lord.

But now it was morning. Hours had passed and, though she did not feel any better, she felt more in control of her thoughts. And that was she needed – she needed to think. She needed answers.

_And as it happens, I've got a good source in my grasp._

She turned away from the sea, eyes narrowing as she strode across the deck, ripping open the door and descending the stairs towards the cells.

* * *

Zuko rubbed his eyes, groaning with the stiffness that had settled over his limbs in the hours since he had been holed up in the cell.

_One of my own cells! _

The irony was too much for him; he laughed at first, but that was before the cold set in and the _thinking _began. It was dark where he lay and so he did not know whether or not it was still night.

It had been five years; five years, and he didn't hear a word from her. Five years and he spent two of them in utter shock that she could not be with him. It was another year and a half before he finally felt numb to the realization she was dead.

And all this time…

He gritted his teeth as he pulled his knees up to his chest. Why had no one told him? Why had Aang, his closest friend and ally, never mentioned her survival? Did they think he was _stupid_? By their own right, Zuko hadn't ever exactly been a man of good first impressions, but he had always thought they became true friends. It hurt, definitely, but it didn't hurt as much as watching her in front of him, touching him so softly, so warmly – until she suddenly pulled out a dagger to…

_Yes, to kill me._

And yet, she _did _kill his men! Without a second thought, without a second glance she bended their blood and murdered them. This was not the Katara he knew – this was not the same fierce, overprotective, stubborn waterbender he had come to call his friend. This was someone angry and violent and bitter and it scared him how these two people wore the same face.

_What could have happened all those years ago to make you change this much?_

He wanted her back. He wanted the familiar girl with the wide, determined blue eyes to come down the stairs and call out his name, to tell him it was all a mistake, and he would forgive her; he would believe her in an instant.

And her face – the face that came to him when he was sleeping, the face that haunted the ripples in pond water…when he saw her face, it was enough to break his chest.

She was beautiful, even more so than he remembered, but terribly so. The full lips, the dark skin shimmering with droplets of water, the waves of deep chestnut hair, the slender frame, the way her brow furled when she was frustrated… All of that, he remembered. All of that never left his mind in the past years, but it was the _eyes _– her eyes were so different than he remembered that he could not bring himself to believe it was truly her. Her passion, it was still there, but this passion was an angry one, a lethal one. It was a hunger that seemed insatiable, but the vulnerability, the fear that was hidden deep down… He saw that, too. If only for the briefest of moments, if only for the changing of the tides, he saw that, too.

He scrubbed his face with his hands, groaning into his palms. His head was pounding; it hurt terribly and his throat was parched and felt prickly. A small bowl of water near the cell's iron bars caught his attention.

_Did I sleep?_

He didn't remember her coming down to give him water. He must have slept, if only for a little while. He caught himself wondering if she watched him in his slumber, remembering things the way he remembered them.

His lips curled into a smirk at the sight of the bowl of water.

_Would you have me lap at it like a dog?_

He plunged his hand into the water, splashing his face and sighing with the refreshment. He drank greedily, each gulp deep and cold but it wasn't long before an uneasy feeling arose in his stomach followed by a strangely familiar bitter aftertaste. He grimaced, pushing the bowl away as he clutched at his belly, fighting the urge to retch. He pulled at his hair, grimacing as the cell and the ground around him swirled, the floor pushing and pulling and he felt sick, he felt so nauseous; his head was pounding as his vision blurred. He could feel himself falling forward, but he didn't notice until his cheek met the cold, hard ground and he was panting, he was gagging, he was pleading with his body to feel normal again.

_Damn…_

She poisoned him. Is that what this was? His water was laced, there was no doubt about it.

_But with what?_

He growled angrily, throwing his hand forward in a futile attempt to ignite flames against the iron bars of his cell but nothing came out, nothing protruded from his fingertips. Nothing happened.

Zuko closed his eyes, rolling onto his back.

She laced his water, yes, but with a special herb that suppressed bending. It was one of his uncle's teas – one she no doubt found in his chambers. He laughed a low, guttural sound to himself.

_The irony is too much… Imprisoned in my own cell, poisoned with my own herbs… _

_You've gotten even smarter, Katara._

_Should I hate you for it?_

He thought he could never hate her. But what else was there when the bodies of his men plagued his own ship's decks? What else was there when there was nothing but his own sickness, rising up in his throat and preventing him from bending – the one thing that ever came naturally to him?

He cursed her – he prayed Agni, Yue, that the spirits of the _Avatar _would curse her-

Footsteps.

They were deft and quiet, but he could hear them anyway. Was it her?

His stomach was roiling with unease but he forced himself to sit up anyway, panting from the effort. His gaze swam unnaturally, dots of color blurring his vision and he squinted, trying to see into the darkness before him.

_Is it still night?_

The footsteps paused and Zuko began to wonder if she had changed her mind, but the sound echoed softly once more and within a matter of seconds he could see the faint outline of a dark figure as it crept towards him, her copper arm alight with the flame of a torch she was holding.

Then:

"Are you deciding to cooperate?"

Her voice was distant and that of a stranger – this voice was empty and cold and harsh. Zuko's jaw tightened. No, he did not like the sound of her voice now.

He ignored her question and instead responded with his own, though he already knew the answer: "Why can I not bend?" He could see her coming even closer until she was a mere few feet away from his cell, the flame of the torch throwing her shadow up against the metal wall.

"Would you rather be tied so tightly you cannot turn your head, let alone move your arms?" she retorted.

Zuko shrugged, letting his eyes close. _I will beat you at your own game_.

"I could still bend with my feet," he replied. He could almost _feel_ her smirking when she spoke, "It was a tea leaf, infused in your water. It suppresses bending ability for twelve hours. Or, that's what the label on the jar read. I'm pleased to see it was an honest description. Your chambers were full of nifty toys like that, you know."

Zuko could feel the muscles in his jaw twitch.

_Surely you already knew that, Katara?_

"The chambers belonged to my Uncle before they belonged to me," Zuko grunted, pushing down on his knees as he struggled to stand. He didn't want her to see his limbs so shaky, but there was naught he could do about it except glare petulantly at the ground as he rose up to meet her. When they were face to face, he froze. Flamelight flickered against her copper skin, casting oranges on her face and darkening her shadows around her lips – those lips that used to call him a friend – but it was her eyes that startled him the most. They had never appeared so blue to him, so beautifully cerulean and filled with every tide, every wave the ocean has ever pulled and with the torch's light, there was fire in her eyes. There was fire in the sea and two clashed, they fought, they danced and so red and orange licked the blue of her irises but it was a violent fight and an angry one. Her brows drew sharply together as she glared at him, her eyes narrowing into slits.

Zuko grunted, letting his body's weight lean against the bars of the cell door. His face was hot and flustered from the intensity of her eyes but her livid gaze was enough to help him regain his senses and so he looked up at her through his bangs, forcing himself to remember all she had done in the past hours. He wanted to look past the familiar face, he _had _to. She was not the same.

_You really did die after all._

"He will come for me, you know – my uncle," Zuko seethed, holding his stomach as sweat dripped from his hair into his eyes. "His determination is unmatched, but you already knew that…"

She looked confused. "Why would I know anything about your uncle?" She sighed, placing her hand on her hip. "I don't want money."

"Then what do you want? Kat-"

"The Fire Lord."

Zuko blinked, straightening up. His face was blank, he knew, but he also knew that his mind was even more so. He blinked again. _The… Fire Lord?_

The Fire Lord.

Things weren't adding up, not at all – her inability to recognize him as an old friend, her refusal to admit she ever knew Iroh, her violence, her lack of conscience, the way in which she so quickly _killed _people and… yes, it was as though she didn't remember him at all.

And it was _him_. He was the Fire Lord. Surely she knew that?

So this was how she would repay him, then. He, who tried so hard to save her and cherish her and protect her. He did all he could! He lived with his failure for years, he let his heart wither away inside of his chest until all that was left was the part of him that was the Fire Lord. This was her repayment – death and treason and revenge.

"_Why are you doing this_?" he shouted, pounding the iron bars with his hands. She flinched and her eyes narrowed and he knew she was focusing on his red scar, the wrinkles on his skin seemingly dancing in the flamelight. Her hair was wild and untamed from the rain and the fray, hanging in her face in messy strands that stuck to her skin. Those hair loopies that framed her face were the only piece of her that remained the same and for some reason, that made Zuko even angrier. He lurched forward, snarling as he reached through the bars, grabbing her by her tunic and yanking her forward. She dropped the torch and hit the metal hard, grunting from the impact as he leaned down towards her face, only iron separating them.

"Katara," he growled. "Stop acting like you don't know me!"

"I'm not pretending!" she fired back, squirming against his hold. "Just give me Azula, you bastard lord."

Zuko swayed from the nausea of grabbing her so roughly, but he struggled to keep his ground. He blinked slowly, trying to wrap his mind around her words.

"Azula?" he muttered absently. His grip on her softened, but she didn't try to pull away. She just stood there, still and rigid.

"Did you know I was coming?" she asked, her voice dangerously quiet. Zuko's lips pursed into a line. Katara continued, "Is that why Azula isn't here? Because you knew I was coming for the Fire Lord?" She grabbed his wrists, pulling him forward sharply until he hit the bars, gasping from the impact. "Did you _trick _me?"

"You're _crazy_," Zuko breathed, his face no doubt laden with horror. _What happened to you in all of those years I wasn't there?_

Her face twisted, livid and dark. "I am not crazy!" she shouted, pulling water out of her waterskin and using it to slice him across the face. He let go of his hold on her, stumbling back and holding his cheek. Blood dripped slowly between his fingers, his skin stinging. He grimaced, his hand trembling as he dropped to one knee, his stomach roiling.

She squatted down, her gaze never leaving him. She reached through the bars, pushing the bowl of water towards him.

"Drink," she said with a coy smile. "You look parched."

He glared up at her between his fingers.

"You're not like I remember," he panted, rolling onto his back. His hair stuck to his pallid skin from his cold sweat. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm the nausea in his veins.

Katara rocked slowly back and forth on her heels before sitting back and pulling her knees up. Her eyes were flickering with something, but he didn't know what. She was silent for a long while and he wondered if she would ever speak at all. Then:

"Do you like games?"

He rolled onto his side, pushing himself up.

"You tell me. Why don't you-"

A loud clang echoed through the walls of the ship, the metal vibrating and drumming with a deep, gritty hum. Zuko's head snapped up, his eyes squinting at the ceiling. Katara scrambled to her feet in alarm, her hand slipping beneath her dress and pulling out a dagger so fast it was as though the blade just appeared in her hand. She looked at him like she was about to say something and Zuko rolled his eyes, snapping,

"Relax. It's not like I can go anywhere."

She stiffened, but with a "_hmph" _she turned and ascended the stairs, her hair trailing behind her.

The moment her figure disappeared around the stairwell, Zuko slumped back down to the floor. His breathing was labored and short and he scrubbed his face with his hands in frustration.

_Nothing makes any sense._

_Uncle, hurry._

* * *

The High Consult was muttering something under his breath bitterly, but to Mai his words were indiscernible and more or less a low hum. It annoyed her, at the very least, but she sat quietly, hands in her lap while he pored over parchments, maps, and letters. His fingers gripped the table so hard his knuckles were white, the veins in his hand blue and taught.

"How _long _does it take for an old general to reach a stationary ship?"

Mai sighed, draping her arms over the back of her chair.

"A few days, at least."

The consult – _what was his name? Shaozu… Yes, Hou Shaozu, perfect for an aristocratic ass – _smirked at her vainly as he retorted, "Ah, I was not aware women were so well informed on naval operations."

Mai bristled.

_Agni forbid a woman understands the concept of distance._

She stood, her noble robes swishing angrily around her ankles.

"Careful, consult. Your ego is showing." She poured herself a glass of wine fermented near the orchards in Ba Sing Se. The Earth Kingdom never held much glamour for her, but she appreciated the beauty of the farmland there. Even more, she appreciated the effects of alcohol when dealing with a pompous man of the court.

"You can stare at a map as long as you want," she continued. "It does nothing to change time. The General will send his message when he sends it; you will gain nothing from glaring at pieces of paper all day." She sipped her wine slowly, her eyes never leaving his, which were shadowed some by the hood of his court robes.

"My thoughts exactly," he replied to Mai's surprise. "What we need is _action_. This pirate – perhaps assassin, even – has not only committed acts punishable by death, but challenged our entire nation. This pirate has challenged _you_ and the whole ancestral line of Fire Lords."

"That's a bit of a stretch, wouldn't you think?" Mai glowered. In truth, she had no idea what Katara was planning – if she even _had _a plan. How many years does it take in the Spirit World before you lose your senses? She almost felt pity for the girl; Mai could not do it, she knew that much. She could not remain so still for so long and walk away the same person. But even so, action was a necessity.

"I do not believe it is a stretch at all," the Consult countered. "Is it a coincidence the North has sent us a petulant attempt at a martyr after the rebels became active in Yu Dao? Do you think there truly is no connection between the Avatar's sudden presence with the Earth King and this assassin that _happened _to take the royal barge outside of Yu Dao?" He sniffed, glaring down at the parchments once more.

Mai shifted. What the man said made sense, as much as she hated admitting it. No, Mai would not be the same person after so long in a comatose state – so neither would Katara. It was quite possible the waterbender was part of some bigger, unseen plot that went far beyond claiming control of a ship. That thought…It was greatly unnerving.

She swirled what was left of the wine around in her glass before raising it to her lips, her eyes never leaving the consult's. _Is this a game, I wonder? Whoever blinks last has the final say with the pirate?_

But nothing happened. No words were spoken. Mai poured herself another glass, conscious of the consult's judgmental gaze and finally, she let out a long, drawn-out sigh which sounded a bit more dramatic than intended.

"_So_," she drawled, letting herself sink back down into the plush chair at the parchment and map-littered table. "What do you propose we do?"

The High Consult clasped his hand behind his back, his thin mustache twitching.

"An act of war must be responded to with-"

"More violence?"

"Justice," he finished, glaring at her.

"My advice," he continued, "is to send a dozen ships to the Northern Water Tribe and seek out Chief Hakoda for questioning regarding the pirate and the Avatar's refusal to remain neutral. He must listen to reason – we will see to it that he does-"

"Yes, with more _war_."

The High Consult whirled around angrily, robes swishing. He pounded a fist down onto the table. "If it comes to war, then war we will face!" he spat. A lock of thinning dark hair broke free of its greasy hold and wiggled down in front of his forehead. "You women are not fit to rule – you lead with your hearts and with your emotions. If there is any wisdom I can offer you, let it be this: leave your feelings behind. Lead with justice and honor and logic. Lead with strength, without regrets, without pity."

"What you are suggesting, High Consult, goes far beyond justice," Mai said poisonously, rising slowly from her chair.

_Try and at least hide your ego, old brat. You know nothing of diplomatic grace – you only know death._

The consult paused.

"Let me ask you this," he said finally: "How long have you been engaged to Fire Lord Zuko?"

Mai shifted at sheer mention of his name. _What are you playing at? _"That matter is of no concern to you."

Amber eyes narrowed, followed by Consult Shaozu's slithering voice that said, "Oh, I should think it does. In fact, it is of concern to the entirety of our nation, for who wants a Fire Lady that our Lord himself does not deem fit to wed? I see no heirs, Lady Mai. I see no permanent power in your grasp."

Mai bristled in fury. "And what, exactly, are you insinuating?" Her blood was boiling, so much so that, in that moment, she believed she could bend fire directly into his judgmental, infuriating face.

"I am stating only the facts," he replied coolly. _You seem pleased at my anger, you half-wit ass of a consult. _"Until you are wed, you are as replaceable as a lame horse."

Mai rushed past the table, her robes rippling violently against her outburst and she shouted – Agni, she _hated _shouting – "You know nothing! You are nothing but a glorified clerk-"

"As it may be, but I am a glorified clerk who has been here since before you were torn from your mother's wealthy teat."

Mai recoiled, her arm jutting out and knocking over the wine glass, which burst into shards of glass the moment it hit the floor, the wine spilling outwards and staining the crimson rugs with the red of blood.

"Upon my word, you can be tried for treason," she seethed, but her threat was futile, even she knew that.

"Treason?" the consult near laughed. "Treason for aiding the Fire Lord's bed maid with militant wisdom? I shall smile in court, if it be so. Tell me, my Lady, what would _you _have us do with the North?"

Mai willed her unbent fury to simmer for a moment so that, just perhaps, rational thought could enter her mind.

"Send an envoy – an ambassador. Speak with the Chief; do not threaten him so with an army at his gates. I would go myself-"

"And who would watch over the Fire Nation?" the consult asked, picking up the letter from Admiral Jun that spoke of the pirate's actions. "General Iroh is not yet to return for some weeks. The nation needs you here, if you are to secure any amount of power with your people. An ambassador can easily be ambushed by more pirates or rebels on the journey to the North. Water is dangerous – even more so when its tides have surrounded our fire."

The consult handed her the letter, as though prompting her to read it one more time, for maybe this time it would clear her mind of her weak thoughts.

_My thoughts are not weak! I have seen the dictators, I have seen the Phoenix King, I have experienced all that was tainted in this nation. What will we be if I destroy everything the Fire Lord has worked for?_

_What will become of _me_?_

His voice came again, but this time it was clearer, softer: "Send the ships, Lady Mai. If what we fear has come to pass, we have been abandoned by our Avatar. I fear the violence will not stop at Yu Dao. It will not stop at the pirating of our royal barge. Something much bigger is coming."

_No, no… I cannot…I cannot think clearly!_

_Iroh, what would you have me do? _

She could almost imagine him happily humming, eyes closing, as he recounts eras of peace and prosperity. He would then, of course, ask her what lessons she could take from the past – what was war, truly? What was peace?

It was all too confusing, all jumbled in her head – _but this is my life now! This is the life I chose when I agreed to be wed to the Fire Lord. _

_A dozen ships… Far too many for friendly negotiation. Far too many. But Katara…she did not pause and think when she attacked our ships. She _–

And then another thought, one far more unsettling than she thought possible: _What if she _did_?_

Mai was backed into a corner. There was no way out.

"How quickly we have sunken back into our old ways," Mai said, so quietly she did not if the consult heard her, but it did not matter either way. "The Fire Lord will-"

"I fear there may not be a Fire Lord left to speak of, my Lady."

Mai closed her eyes. _If I do this… If I threaten the Northern Water Tribe with my own husband-to-be's troops… Am I better than Azula? Am I better than those we fought so hard to bring to justice?_

_Agni, when did I learn to care so much?_

She sunk back down into the chair pitifully, holding her fingers to her temple. The consult came before her, holding out the letter that would send the Fire Nation's troops to Chief Hakoda.

"This _is_ for the best," he spoke, not unkindly. "The North has betrayed _us. _We must save the man you love; we must save the future of even the poorest merchants. Send the ships. Secure our waters and fight the rising rebellion. There is only one other action that would prove worse than this – inaction."

Mai heart was trembling, trying to beat hard but failing miserably in her uncertain fear.

_Let this be my act of love to you… Will you hate me for this? _

_Not anymore than you will for keeping Katara from you._

She felt like she was about to be sick. Her limbs were weary and weak, her temples throbbing painfully. And, at long last, after hours of dispute and futile attempts to convince High Consult Shaozu of any other option, she nodded.

The moment she did so, she felt the earth shift. She felt the winds change. She felt her life she wanted for so long to stay grounded, crumble beneath her feet.

He placed the parchment and a quill in front of her.

_I am nothing but a puppet._

And she signed the imperial missive against the North.

* * *

A light chirp-like trill echoed above the Avatar's head.

Aang looked up, shielding his eyes from the golden sun of Ba Sing Se. The distinctive shadowed shape of Momo rose and fell in languid movements, his body spiraling gracefully through the air before the lemur came back down to rest on Aang's shoulder. Aang laughed, tossing up a small biscuit, which Momo caught greedily and nibbled on happily, cooing with comfort.

Aang scratched behind Momo's ears, smiling at how easy it was for the lemur to achieve joy.

_I wish it was the same for me._

The Avatar sighed.

He had been in Ba Sing Se for nearly two months now, but it seemed as though his presence did nothing to change the rising tension between Yu Dao and the Earth Kingdom. Aang sat on an old fountain of stone, absently turning his staff over in his hands – doing anything, even if it were nothing, to keep himself busy.

Momo climbed down Aang's tunic, popping out of the fabric at his chest, wide, blinking eyes staring up at him.

"I know, Momo," Aang said quietly. "I don't know what to do either."

Aang had been expecting to see Fire Lord Zuko – his presence was made known a few weeks earlier, when Earth King Kuei had discovered his presence in Yu Dao, but Aang was out scouting other rebel ships along the coast during the time Zuko had meetings with Kuei; it frustrated him – Aang needed to be there, but there was not much he could do about it now.

_How did it come to this?_

The Harmony Restoration Movement was supposed to keep balance between Earth Kingdom citizens and Fire Nation colonists. It was supposed to _help_ but before he knew it, before anyone knew it, the movement had turned into an attempt to eradicate the Fire Nation people from their homes. Aang saw Kuei's reasoning; he saw the reasoning in Zuko's refusal as well. But where did the Avatar's reasoning stand?

He did not know.

_My duty as the Avatar…I must keep peace._

"How can I remain neutral in this, Momo?" Aang groaned, scrubbing his face with his hands. He stood, tapping a finger to his chin, using the lemur as a silent consult – maybe if he spoke aloud, the right answer would come to him?

"If I side with Fire Lord Zuko, then Kuei will think I am against him. If I side with Kuei, then he will send troops to Yu Dao and force the colonists out of their homes!" Aang's arms began flailing as he talked, his pace getting faster and faster until he was walking in circles so fast, he had bent a small whirlwind of air without realizing it.

"But then there's the rebels – Smellerbee and Pipsqueak – and they're not making this any easier! Everyone's so upset, Momo, I don't know what to do. We only just resolved a war! Should I even talk about Katara? Did she get my gift?" He threw his arms up in exasperation. "What if it came off too strongly? She never even said if she still liked me back! Why am I so good at being the Avatar, but so bad at being a normal human being!" The small tornado started moving faster and faster, and an airborne Momo tried to beat his arms more frequently to try and out-fly the pull.

Momo made a small screech as he was yanked into Aang's whirlwind and he spun 'round and round until he was able to find a grip on Aang's tunic and pull himself up onto the Avatar's head, clinging for life.

"Hey, Twinkletoes!"

Aang stopped and the air around him vanished, the dirt and rocks it had collected clattering back down to the earth. He blinked a few times and looked up to see Momo still gripping tightly to his head.

"What are you doing up there?" he asked in confusion. "You're so weird." The lemur glared at him, slipping from his head onto his shoulder and shaking his ears.

Toph was coming towards him now, her bare feet kicking up dirt around her legs. Her arms were full and she muttered to herself, trying not to drop her precious goods.

"Look at all these cabbages I found!" she exclaimed happily, tossing one up in the air and catching it with her foot.

"Flameo," Aang said half-heartedly.

"Come on, what's got _you _down?" Toph replied.

Aang sat on the fountain once more, letting his head drop. "Everyone wants such different things. I don't know how to please them all."

Toph took a big bite of a cabbage, her face immediately twisting into disgust and she spit it out instantly, nearly heaving.

"You know, I had never tried cabbage before," she said begrudgingly. "Once was more than enough." She threw up her arms, tossing the mound of cabbages over her head and they soared surprisingly far into the distance. Aang _swore _he could hear a faint, pained cry of, "_My cabbages!"._

"Listen up, Twinkletoes. Rule number one: You can't make everyone happy." She plopped herself down next to him, but had forsaken the stone wall for the dirt, and grabbed her foot. "If you try to do that, you'll die from the exhaustion." Aang _humph_'d as she began picking her toes.

"Easy for you to say," he murmured pitifully. "I have whole nations depending on me. I _have _to make them happy. It's like the one job the Avatar has."

"Well, that, and avoiding worldly destruction."

"Each one affects the other."

Toph whistled. "Wise words, right there, baldy.

"Wasn't His Royal Poutiness here?" she continued.

Aang laced his fingers behind his head and went to lean back, forgetting he was merely sitting on the wall of a fountain. He teetered precariously for a moment, arms flailing about, before finally regaining his balance and sighing with relief.

"He was here a few weeks ago, not for long. I missed him when I was scouting the coast. Did you miss him too? I thought you were in the city."

"I _was _in the city, but I have a reputation to uphold!" Toph held up her hands as if she were revealing a slogan on a poster. "'The Blind Bandit Returns After Five Years'! Imagine the crowd! The _glory! Ha ha ha ha!" _

Aang chuckled. Toph's cackle always reminded him of the days of the Melon Lord.

_I would give anything to have us all back together again like that._

"Is the Feet-Burner still refusing to cooperate?" Toph asked.

Aang shrugged, nodding absently. "Yeah. He doesn't want any part of the Harmony Restoration Movement to pass."

"Makes sense," Toph said, leaning back against the wall and crossing her arms over her chest. "They're Fire Nation colonies. It's his peoples' homes. The Earth King is being a little unreasonable trying to expel them, if you ask me."

"Why do you say that?" Aang dropped his chin into his palm, listening intently.

"_Because_, Twinkletoes, the guy didn't actually have power for the majority of his rule as Earth King. That creepy Long-Feng guy had been brainwashing him." She sat up, animated with a memory. "Remember Joo Dee? Creepy. Anyway, I think he's on some kind of power trip. You just have to find that _one _thing that gets him to listen to reason."

"How do I know what that is?" Aang asked, desperate for anything that could help. Toph shrugged, replying, "I dunno. I'm not the Avatar."

"I guess-"

"Avatar Aang."

The two looked up, squinting against the sunlight that was cloaking the man in front of them in shadow. Aang brought his hand to his eyes, trying to peer into the face of the person calling out to him.

"How can I help?" Aang asked. The man bowed, the long sleeves of his green robes almost touching the ground.

"My name is Gu Yanwu, Grand Secretariat to Earth King Kuei and Ba Sing Se. Please, come with me. The Earth King wishes to speak with you. The matter is very urgent."

Aang stood instantly, gripping his staff tightly and he nodded, a pit of apprehension rising within his stomach.


End file.
